Daughter counselled on dating a wordly guy

by minimus 82 Replies latest jw friends

  • TresHappy
    TresHappy

    Dating a "worldly" person is a no win situation if you're an active Witness. They constantly called, came by my residence, counseled me, in a sense, drove me crazy. This relationship ended badly, and it took me years to get over it, but it took longer because that pretty much did it for me as a Witness. So your life is over, you think, and then you start over. I have married but I can remember those years like they were yesterday.

  • SixofNine
  • Bona Dea
    Bona Dea
    I've lost a lot of friends to this type of thing. And I try my best to help them and it doesn't seem to work. And then I kick myself thinking "what else should I have done?"

    IF your daughter wants to try and keep this friend, she could use these statements to her advantage. Although I doubt it would work, she could send her friend a ton of scriptures (something that this very "christian" friend used none of to support her nonsense) about loving, forgiving, peace, being uplifting, etc. If your daughter still has a NWT, she could use the index (as I am sure everyone is familiar with) in the back and throw an abundance of loving scripture back in this "friends" face. If your daughter has resolved to break the ties, then if I were her I wouldn't even bother responding. But she could respond with something like this:

    Dear Friend,

    What else could you have done? Well, you could continue putting conditions on your friendships and continue to "lose your friends to this kind of thing," or you could follow Jesus' counsel at Luke 6:37 where he states, "Moreover, stop judging, and you will by no means be judged; and stop condemning, and you will by no means be condemned." Or Paul's advice at 2 Corinth 2:7,8: "...you should kindly forgive and comfort, that somehow such a man may not be swallowed up by his being overly sad. Therefore I exhort you to confirm your love for him."

    There are many, many more she could add.

    Congrats to her!! I hope everything works out well.

    Sadie

  • Trauma_Hound
    Trauma_Hound

    Jesus, what a judgemental bitch, I guess in here "godly" ways, she forgot about the part, of not judging people. BTW How is not telling somene something, lying? Time for theocratic war, use scriptures to make her look like an ass.

  • minimus
    minimus

    My daughter has read your comments, so far, and has appreciated them very much. Here's the deal with her "friend". She is expecting an email by my daughter in response. My daughter understands why her "friend" feels the way she does. my daughter doesn't want to get nasty with her, either, as it is unnecessary. However, she would like to respond to her with an appropriate message. ...Any suggestions???

  • goofy
    goofy

    Congratulations on your daughters engagement and congratulations to her for loosing such a non-friend. Tell her to live her life. People who love her will always love her. The others she does not need.

  • Skeptic
    Skeptic
    My daughter understands why her "friend" feels the way she does. my daughter doesn't want to get nasty with her, either, as it is unnecessary. However, she would like to respond to her with an appropriate message. ...Any suggestions???

    I would answer like I was not talking about myself, and make a reply similar to this: "I am surprised that your friendship with that person is conditional. If you would end a friendship over whom someone is in love with, then perhaps you are not really her friend at all. True friendship is not conditional upon such things. Perhaps you should evaluate whether you are this person's friend. Then do what you want. If you are not her friend, then end the so-called friendship. If you are her friend, then continue to be a friend." Richard

  • minimus
    minimus

    Richard, that was very good. I will show her that one, when I see her later on.

  • Skeptic
    Skeptic

    <blush> Thanks, minimus.

    Richard

  • sandy
    sandy
    I would answer like I was not talking about myself, and make a reply similar to this

    Minimus tell your daughter to take Richard's advice. This is great! LOL

    Be sure to post the response letter on here.

    Good Idea Richard!!!!!!!!

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