Daughter counselled on dating a wordly guy

by minimus 82 Replies latest jw friends

  • bluesapphire

    Well, Minimus, it's another case of the witnesses turning off each other!

    This girl did your daughter a favor. Be thankful if she never goes to a single meeting again. And give her COC as a wedding gift!

  • Wolfgirl

    This hits close to home. I was counselled when I was 15 for "dating" a "worldly" guy. It's not like we went anywhere. We just held hands at school and kissed a few times. I felt so bad about it, I was suicidal. I planned it all and only chickened out at the last minute, thank god. I did it again when I was 17. Counselled again. Then married someone who was studying...well, we dated whilst he was studying, and got married a week after he got baptised. Big mistake. Divorced.

    Then I met my English man. :D Definitely the least religious person I've ever met. Got disfellowshipped. Lived together for a year before we got married. Celebrating our first anniversary today. Best thing I ever did. :D

  • greven

    What a sicko letter! The mind the barfed this drivel up must be rotten to the core!

    Let your daughter post her reply letter...I am really curious how this will turn out.


  • Max Divergent
    Max Divergent

    Well, this poor misdirected girl is doing what seems right to her and isn't doing anything truly wrong (just strange and weird and nasty), and she knows the consequences may not be comfortable and that she'll probably fail (again)...

    I've lost a lot of friends to this type of thing. And I try my best to help them and it doesn't seem to work. And then I kick myself thinking "what else should I have done?"

    So your daughter must equally have the right do do what seems right to her, knowing the consequnces may not be comfortable.

    Is she prepared for the worst case senario (which is DF obviously)? If so, who gives a rats-arse about them? Act as you see fit.

    If she's not ready for that, then best to get ready for it so it's no longer a real threat (easy said, I know).

    If you don't feel like ignoring them, you could offer to help sheperd this stranger she's writing about and guide her with your daughters experience; or you could get stuck into her father - he's responsible; or engage in a family orgy/love-in on their front lawn... who cares...

    I'd just have a laugh about it and show it to all my friends....


  • calamityjane

    My comment, is who needs enemies when you have friends like that. Yuck

    This conditional friendship is b.s. Always trying to do the emotional blackmail.

    Good for your daughter, that she has found somebody she loves, outside of the bOrg.

    Congratulations to her.

    c.j. of "There is life outside of the bOrg class."

  • dedalus

    I love the phrase "worldly guy," as in, "that's still no excuse to date a worldly guy." Hey, now that I'm DA'd, am I a "worldly guy" too? That would make me feel like such a badass ...


  • Shakita


    Congratulations to the father of the bride! We just married off our eldest daughter last year, get ready to empty your piggy bank! Her wedding was beautiful, but the months before were something of a nightmare thanks to the JW's. Long and painful story there all thanks to the cult we call The Watchtower.

    We all used to think and speak like this witness friend of your daughters. She is just doing what she was programmed to do and say, and she is totally convinced that your daughter is ruining her life. She wants to save your daughter from Satan's world which is coming to a violent end very shortly! Very sad to think of the lives wasted waiting for a perfect utopia which is fantasy, pure and simple.

    Your daughter is joining the ever increasing group of young people who are questioning and, ultimately leaving, the organization. Their rigid, cruel, and unscriptual rules and regulations will be their downfall. It is already happening in our area, and hopefully the trend will continue.

    Give my best to your daughter and wife, minimus. Sounds like your family is on their way to freedom.

    Mrs. Shakita

  • teenyuck

    Horrible e-mail. As noted, the fact she did it in third person makes it worse. Underhanded and passive aggressive.

    Your daughter is much better off without this friend.

    PS...congratulations on her engagement.

  • xjw_b12

    Mimimus. My first 2 questions I had when I read the letter were...

    1. Is the friend, female? and 2. Is he/she married ? I see you have answered both., and it was as I suspected. Her ex-friend is pretty nervy, condeming a single person, when she herself is married.

    And as for the tone of the letter, either her elder dad wrote it for her, or she should be an elder herself, because she's got the jw judgemental jargon down to a T. Amazing how those " letters of council " all sound alike. Just shows how brainwashed we were.

    xjw_b12 " Millions Now Living Will Never Die Know "

  • Marvin Shilmer
    Marvin Shilmer

    Hello, Minimus

    I would reply to this letter by saying that maybe the person that wrote this letter has lost a lot of friends because of their condemnatory judgmentalism. Maybe the person they allude to refrains from discussing private areas of her life with them because she does not want added exposure to the judgmentalism that rightly is God's prerogative.

    As for so-called strong Witnesses and less-than-strong Witnesses, this is really no more than the same judgmentalism, and it is purely in the eyes of each beholder, which eyes can be fooled. Jehovah knows who is honestly trying their best to worship him and who is more concerned with impressing their friends with an appearance of strength. My experience says that the ones we so often characterize as lesser ones are in reality the most genuine worshippers of all. At least they tend to leave the condemnations to God.


    Marvin Shilmer

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