Getting disfellowshipped to marry and return

by confused 45 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • HappyDad

    In 1965 my cousin 's wife (they had one kid) committed adultery with a married brother (he had two kids and his wife was not a JW) in their congregation and they got divorced. I'm guessing it was my cousin that filed for the divorce. The two sinners moved in together and eventually got married. They were reinstated within two years. My cousin never fully recovered from this and was never much of an active JW. The other two however were eventually looked at as pillars of the congregation. I know because about 5 to 6 years after the "sin", I became a JW in that very same congregation in a suburb of Pittsburgh, PA. This whole scandal was the topic of the community. What really was the icing on the cake was the fact that she is white and he is black and back then, interracial couplings were really frowned on by society.

    He eventually became an elder and was PO of the congregation in the 1990's into 2000 something and he really "lorded" it over the congregation. He had most of the congregation practically bowing to him. By then I was already out. The wife was one of the biggest troublemaking gossips in that KH along with a few other "sisters". It seems like some people brush their wrongdoing under the table.

  • RubaDub

    We can recall that God showed mercy to Peter after he denied Jesus three times; yet God executed Ananias and Sapphira, who schemed in their hearts how to carry out their deceit.​—Acts 5:1-11.

    Blondie ...

    Yet the article seems strangely silent about King David and his shenanigans, adultery, scheming a murder of the innocent spouse, etc.

    Rub a Dub

  • OnTheWayOut

    Snugglebunny on page 1: This happened in the UK some years ago. The fella was a District overseer - I believe his name was Turnbull - and he and his lady love admitted to the DF'ing committee that they knew they'd be DF'd but planned to bide their time, get divorced and then married, then apply for reinstatement.
    HO at Mill Hill were obviously involved and their edict to the JC was to stipulate that they would have to wait for 10 years before they could apply for re-admission.

    I typed this and it disappeared. I said that a C.O. told elders in the 1990's that people who do such were facing an unwritten, but hard rule to wait 10 years for reinstatement.

    While the C.O. didn't say it, it was implied that they could scheme around it and the cheating JW's could break up to look more repentant. They would either get reproved or DF'ed, but would appear to be not in a relationship, then simply wait until after the reinstatement and a couple years before marrying.

  • snugglebunny

    This sort of stuff is always going to happen. Being brought up in a high control group such as the JW religion, many folk get married way too soon just so that they can enjoy their nookies ASAP. Inevitably, once the novelty has worn off, they become vulnerable to thinking "Is this really the one and only person that I'm ever going to have sex with?"

    Maybe if they'd played the field a bit, like most developing young people do, the curiosity and vulnerability associated with extra-marital affairs wouldn't be nearly so appealing.

  • My Name is of No Consequence
    My Name is of No Consequence

    Something like this happened in my neck of the woods recently. The newly married couple was reinstated in like 6 months. You just gotta know how to play the system and know the right elders.

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath


    spot on !

  • sir82

    As with most things in WT-world, it is dependent on a number of non-religious factors:

    -- How prominent in the organization are the people involved?

    -- Are the elders in the congregation(s) hardliners or liberals?

    -- Does the man have close allies on the body of elders?

    -- How well-known are the details?

    In the vast majority of cases, the couple can "get away with it". The answers to the above questions determine if their "getting away with it" takes a few months, a few years, or many many years.

  • TheHistoryCritic

    This is actually pretty common. I've seen it on more than one occasion.

  • Spiral

    I've seen this several times. One guy is on his third go round.

    It's of course understandable. If you're in a truly miserable marriage, and you want OUT, you commit adultery if you have to. I know of one situation where the sister admitted to adultery with a worldly workmate (who couldn't be called to account) and got her super elder hubby (also verbally and emotionally abusive) to divorce her. She got DF'd. Freedom! She was never ever so happy! Thing is - she never slept with anyone. She just wanted OUT. And he got remarried. I guess holy spirit failed to alert the brothers something was amiss with that confession.

  • Vidiot

    confused - "A sister in the congregation is planning to divorce her husband who is also a witness so she can marry a different brother in the same hall..."


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