What Would A Jehovah's Witness Romance Novel Be Like?

by minimus 162 Replies latest jw friends

  • TresHappy
    TresHappy

    Sure minimus - however not trying to take away from anyone else, I have already gone quite deep into my own story about Hilary and David, which I have already in my head. Hilary and David represent a typical young JW man and woman I saw in the Watchtower. So, guys would it be OK for me to continue Hilary and David saga thru the story in my head....I have got Bethel planned in the storyline. Thank you for saying about this story...It just basically came to me in my brain when I saw the thread about a JW romance novel. Sort of to say I was inspired?

  • minimus
    minimus

    Tres, I think you gave it away. They get married and end up in Bethel. You're going to have to do more Bethelite stuff. Now this is MY thread and that's what I want!

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    "With a mighty bound, Roger was by her side. Norah felt his hot breath on her b*****g, as, with a masterful cry, Roger ripped away the thin diaphanous l******s that covered her whispy w****-****r. Pausing only to gaze upon her u*-*****d b*****s with unabated f*****r, Roger pressed his t***y m******-***e into her hand. Quickly, she led him down the garden path, took a firm hold of the large k*****r and banged it as hard as she could."

    Ha ha! Oh ye of smutty mindedness! All I wrote was:

    "With a mighty bound, Roger was by her side. Norah felt his hot breath on her bookbag, as, with a masterful cry, Roger ripped away the thin diaphanous leaflets that covered her whispy watch-tower. Pausing only to gaze upon her un-placed booklets with unabated fervour, Roger pressed his trusty magazine-case into her hand. Quickly, she led him down the garden path, took a firm hold of the large knocker and banged it as hard as she could."

    Englishman.

  • gumby
    gumby
    All I wrote was:

    Yeah right......you changed it once you were busted ......you dirty old Englishman!

  • TresHappy
    TresHappy

    No - they don't end up at Bethel. But rest assured Bethel is there. If that's what you want, you will get it. I don't want to mess up your thread (although I was never good at sewing anyway) - lol. I am typing this out at home and I will copy and paste excerpts into the thread...getting inspired sometimes just takes time...

  • neyank
    neyank

    A true JW romance can only be between the JW and the WTS. And it would be a true love because the JW would forsake all else for the love of their life. The WTS. THey would forsake family, common sense, real truth about their love. The WTS. Oh yes. A real love story. neyank

  • Maverick
    Maverick

    Love this thread, but the character are all young! In real life the sister is divorced, sex starved and 38. And the brother is divorced, 52, with a gut and three grown kids, the youngest of whom has a child out of wedlock and living with Daddy! He's a nice sweet guy and his bride is very, very horny! They get married, he can't...er...'perform'? You know, bad back,( from years of building Kingdumb Halls for free and going door to door, for free). She becomes a nag of the first order because she feel betrayed and he becomes a hopeless drunk and they live unhappily ever after and then die unfulfulled. The End Maverick

  • TresHappy
    TresHappy

    Hilary looked dazed and confused when her parents arrived home from book study. Her parents were discussing the virtues of not having a blood transfusion as the blood booklet was being studied (again). “Hilary”, “what did you think of tonight’s study?”, her father asked. “Oh Dad”, she muttered, I didn’t go. I wasn’t up to it..” Her father looked surprised and asked an almost demanding why. She didn’t answer and walked into her room, which at the time was her sole refuge from a prying father and his seemingly endless meddlesome questions.

    The next Sunday meeting couldn’t come fast enough for Hilary. She just knew he’d be there this Sunday, brown wavy hair and all. Sunday arrived and Hilary busied getting herself ready. She had never looked so forward to a Sunday meeting. Hilary grabbed her Bible, Watchtower (paragraphs firmly outlined to show her spirituality) and sprinted out the door to get to the Kingdom Hall. As she arrived, only the few early comers had come. No cutie in sight, but she tried not to look too eager. She was going to play it cool, although her heart was throbbing. She found her best friend Annie and sat next to her talking about the latest gossip. “Annie, I am about to burst at the seams if I don’t tell someone.” You remember that guy we saw at the District Convention a few weeks ago?”. Annie said, “We saw lots of guys at the convention, they were roaming the halls, way too many for me to remember.” Hilary says “don’t you remember the guy with wavy brown hair.” “Oh that guy” Annie said, “that only describes about half of them.” Hilary was getting nowhere with her friend’s failing memory. “I met a guy there named David, and he called this week and said he might come to this meeting.” Well Annie’s attention perked up measurably when she heard that. “I hope you have better luck than me Hilary.” “The last fellow I met at an assembly took me out with a buy one get one free coupon.” “To top it off, he asked me to order water.” Hilary ignored her friend’s negativity. The doors opened in haste at the Kingdom Hall. It was almost time for the meeting to begin. Where was he, she thought. Perhaps I could go looking in the parking lot for him. I could go to my car and retrieve an extra Bible and maybe look around to see if he’s around she thought. Before she could think up another scheme in her head, the doors opened and there he stood. David had come to the meeting, wavy hair and all. Her mouth almost dropped to the floor when he walked in, looking like he stepped out of a GQ magazine. He was even better looking than Hilary remembered. Not only was Hilary hooked, she was caught.

  • happyout
    happyout

    TresHappy - Ok, you need to write a lot faster, 'cause I'm all caught up in the Hillary / David story. You are great, this is a really good story.

  • xjw_b12
    xjw_b12

    And this could be the final chapter. " Hillary and David Consummate the Marriage "

    OK. I stole this from the Onion News Letter, and modified it to reflect the story TresHappy has started, as I am not original enough to come up with something this funny on my own.

    Warning Adult content ! like that's going to stop any of you !

    David and Hillary McCue, joined in holy matrimony Saturday before friends, family and their God at the local Jehovah's Witnesses Kingdom Hall.

    Above: Newlywed Christians David and Hillary McCue.

    "I'm so glad we waited until we got married—it made it so much more special," said the 26-year-old Hillary, who is "pretty sure" David's penis penetrated her vaginal opening during the brief, fumbling lovemaking session. "I can't imagine what a letdown our first sexual experience would have been if we'd done it at some point during our five years of dating."

    David, 27, agreed. "As I prepared, sweat-drenched and terror-struck, to insert my semi-erect penis into my petrified new bride, I couldn't help but think what a precious, magical moment it was. Then, as Linda started to cry out from the anticipation of pain from the first-ever breaching of her tightly constricted vaginal walls, a tear of joy streamed down my cheek."

    According to the devout Jehovah's Witnesses, after retiring to their bridal suite at the Charleston Marriott East, Hillary decided to initiate the evening of romance and dread by excusing herself to the bathroom, where she spent "approximately an hour" changing into the floor-length cotton nightgown she had purchased especially for the occasion.

    Recalled David: "When I saw Hillary emerge from the bathroom, a vision in billowing, opaque cloth, her head and hands peeking tantalizingly from the tight collar and cuffs, the moment we first fell in love came rushing back to me in a wave of adoration and fear."

    After an estimated 45 minutes spent in prayer to ensure the smoothest possible act of coitus, David made sure the windows and doors were all securely locked, and that all windowshades and blinds were closed. He then reached to his nightstand to turn out the lights "to contribute to the feeling of romance" and "because Hillary refused to let me touch her nightgown until the room was completely dark."

    Trembling in giddy anticipation and fright, the longtime couple climbed under the sheets and blankets, where David took his place on top of his blushing, sobbing bride.

    "As with millions of young newlyweds who haven't yet had sex," David said, "there was some nervousness and confusion at first. But after a couple of minutes, we figured out that it would be easier if Hillary separated her legs to facilitate entry."

    Penile insertion was somewhat complicated by David's refusal to assist the navigation process by touching himself—an act the Bible strictly prohibits—but a few more minutes of unsteady shifting and jabbing enabled his penis to "almost certainly" enter Hillary.

    Having at last achieved probable sexual congress, the couple was brought to new heights of nervous, clumsy passion. "As I ran my trembling hands over David's rigid shoulders," Hillary said, "I said a prayer thanking our God Jehovah for giving us the strength to wait for this wonderful, fulfilling moment. It certainly was every bit as special as I'd hoped."

    Added Hillary: "I'm sure the first time isn't anywhere near as magical for all those young people who don't save themselves for marriage. Now I know why God wanted us to wait."

    As the sexual act wore on, Hillary said it grew gloriously tolerable, describing the experience as "endurable beyond my wildest dreams."

    "Toward the end," she said, "I was almost relaxed enough to enjoy myself, and then, of course, David ejaculated." Hillary declined to elaborate on her new husband's sexual climax, but said, "I can definitely say that the encounter, which yesterday would have been an unforgivable sin in the eyes of God, was noticeably pleasurable, and probably even somewhat erotic in nature."

    David agreed wholeheartedly, calling their wedding-night union "the most exciting minutes of my life." Immediately after finishing, the newlyweds took turns showering.

    As for the future of the couple's sex life, David said he is full of hope. "I'd like to maybe try actually touching Hillary's vagina with my hand at some point," he said. "Then again, I don't want to rush things. Also, I've heard that the vagina kind of smells bad."

    "I certainly hope Jehovah will now bless us with a child after this wonderful night," Hillary said. "If not, we may be forced to repeat this beautiful experience."

    And the link to the story as it originally appeared : http://www.theonion.com/archive/archive_relationships.html

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