What Would A Jehovah's Witness Romance Novel Be Like?

by minimus 162 Replies latest jw friends

  • frenchbabyface
    frenchbabyface

    Once upon a time ... he was european and she was asian ... he was JWs and she was Buddhist ... he was handsome and she was ugly ... he was little and she was tall ... he was thin and she was fat ... they've got 10 kids all beautifful who became JWBUDDHIST ...HAPPY END

  • TresHappy
    TresHappy

    The following Saturday arrived quickly. Hilary and her parents showed up at the Kingdom Hall for Saturday morning service, and Hilary made a hasty retreat from her parent’s prying eyes and got into the car with her friend Annie. Hilary’s mom said “Come with us, Hilary, I want to spend the day with you in service.” “We’ve got a new book we’re offering to the householders and it would be great to place some today.” Hilary knew that her Mom wouldn’t be placing any publications that morning, just drilling her in the art of “Theocratic Witness Dating.” Her Dad should have written the book on it, as he seemed to use this theme throughout his talks through the years. Hilary had heard it all her life, and on the morning of her first real date with David, she wasn’t going to listen to it. “Mom, I am going with Annie, we’ve made a few appointments with householders and we’re going to do return visits and not at homes.” Hilary’s Mom and Dad gave their perpetual disappointed Jehovah’s Witness Mom and Dad look and reluctantly waved at their daughter. Annie got in the car and closed the driver door. “Boy Hilary, are you lying to the parents today or what? Does she really think we’re going to have this theocratic and fruitful day out in service?” Hilary told Annie “I don’t know what they think anymore, and right now, I really don’t care.” Annie looked over in mock disapproval “Hilary, you wouldn’t want to disappoint Mom and Dad, and you know Hil, that rebellious streak is showing already, I smell an elder’s meeting to be held in your behalf any moment now.” Hilary laughed and said “Bring’em on…” They drove out of the KH parking lot with no sudden destination in mind. “Where we are going to work, Annie curiously asked.” Hilary smiled and said “How about the nearest runway”, referring to David’s airport job. Annie suggested “let’s go do some Laundromats and apartment complexes.” “There’s a complex on the other side of town that’s got 15 mini rooms.” “I can place all of my magazines there.” Hilary was not interested. “Annie, why don’t we drive over and drive by David’s house?” Annie smiled and said “Oh yeah, let’s knock on his door and place the latest Watchtower with him.”

    Hilary then looked in her purse, pulled out her makeup and started putting on her lipstick. “Hilary, I was joking, sure we can drive by, but for what purpose, surely you’re not going to get out of the car, don’t you think you’ll look aggressive?” Hilary said “I am not going to go up to the house, just drive and I’ll show you.” Annie gave her a look, the look she gave everyone when she didn’t want to do it but did it anyway. Annie always had that look in service! They made their way over to David’s place that was some distance away. Hilary then grabbed one of her magazines and smacked her lips across the front cover. So along with the “The Watchtower”, Hilary’s Revlon Super Lustrous Iced Amethyst graced across it. Then Hilary got out of the car, and put it in David’s mailbox. Hilary quickly got back in “Drive away Annie, before anyone sees us.” Annie said “I’ll feel like I am the getaway driver, and she accelerated down the street and came to a stop some blocks away. “Hilary, did you just kiss a Watchtower?” Hilary said “Well everyone’s out of town at David’s place, so I thought he’d be the one to retrieve the mail on Saturday. So I thought I’d give him a kiss even before tonight.” Annie then said “OK, Hilary I think I feel two elder’s meetings coming on…”

  • Badger
    Badger

    Hooray! TH is back!

    Seriously, this is hitting home hard...this is almost like my own courtship was.

    Not to spoil the broth, but are there any chances that a triangle could develop? Bring in a brother who looks wholesome, but really makes Comments from his heart and not the magazine, is thinking about going to college and scaling down to be (gasp) JUST A PUBLISHER? Y'know, for that "bad boy" appeal.

    Keep it comin'

  • shamus
    shamus

    I am pissing my pants laughing at this thread.

    This is, without a doubt, the absolutley funniest thread that this forum has seen. You guys are so funny....

    Tonite at work, when I have 2 hours to kill (and believe me, it's more than that usually), I am going to read the story. I'm only on page 2 now, and have to stop because my stomach hurts.

    Thank you all for posting this. It's one of the few pleasures of my life right now....

    ROFLMAO!

  • Badger
    Badger

    Tres:

    PLEASE! PLEASE! Please don't let this thread die!

    If you can't do it, draft someone to continue!

    I BEG of you!

  • SpunkyChick
    SpunkyChick

    Yes....I am wondering if these two luvbirds are gonna get caught....Tres are you still out there??

  • TresHappy
    TresHappy

    I'll do one more segment before my vacation! - but David and Hilary will be on hiatus until after October 21

  • minimus
    minimus

    Tres, you said that last time....C'mon, whatdayya want? Money?? Jewels?? Name your price, Tres.

  • TresHappy
    TresHappy

    Hilary smiled and said ?I?m just practicing up for tonight!? Annie said ?why don?t you go and practice on your bedroom mirror? Do you think that Jehovah will bless you in some form?? Annie then said ?I give up Hil, you got one thing on your mind and it?s not service. I think I should drop you off back at your car and then let you salivate in your own car.? Hilary laughingly agreed and Annie dropped Hilary off at the Kingdom Hall. Before Hilary could leave, Annie rolled down the window and said ?you?ve got to tell me everything; I mean everything about this date.? Hilary promised she would and waved her friend goodbye. Hilary turned out of the Kingdom Hall and made her way back home.

  • TresHappy

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