I'm Catholic and madly in love with a Jehovah Witness...

by Luge62 61 Replies latest jw friends

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  OnTheWayOut

  Again I would like to thank everyone for their comments and advise. It is deeply appreciated. I wish at least one present JW would voice their opinion.

  Here's the thing. While there SHOULD be nothing wrong with it, active believers in the Watchtower will not come to this forum, or if they find themselves here, they are supposed to run away with their tail between their legs.

  That is because Watchtower controls every facet of their lives. If this girlfriend still believes that religion, even if she gets kicked out (disfellowshipped) because she leaves her husband and marries you, she will go back and be shunned for a long time, she will be shunned by her family for a long time, then she will eventually be reinstated. To do that, she will decide that she regretted all that she did, including marrying a non-believer. Oh, she will still be married to you, but she will regret it. To make up for it, she may try to recruit you.

  I don't know her situation with her current husband. I don't know that she should get out of it. I imagine so. But you don't have to be married to her before she figures this whole JW religion thing out. Let her decide if she wants to get kicked out. Let her decide if she wants to be your girlfriend. Do whatever dating people do, just don't marry her until she decides what to do down the road. Give it at least a year. You can live together or date or stay friends, you can have sex or not. But don't get hitched until she knows she doesn't want to go back.

  Odds are heavy on her going back unless she left the religion for good reasons, not just left her husband for good reasons. You can work on educating her about the religion and how it's not "the truth." But her family shunning her might cause her to go back one day.

  You have been warned.
• 

  LisaRose

  In my experience, as a former member for thirty years, the long term outlook is not good. Being in a religion like this, her thoughts and emotions have been manipulated. She may be in love with you, but eventually the guilt over the relationship will get to her. If she does stay with you, her religion will be a factor in your relationship.

  If you get married, she will feel obligated to raise your children in the religion. They discourage higher education, have strict requirements for attendance and door to door work. They do not allow blood transfusions, voting, holidays or association with non believers. They believe they are the only true religion, all other people will he destroyed at Armageddon, which will he soon.

  I get that you love her and you think you can make this work out, but you should know what you are up againet. It's a cult, and they also are highly critical of other Christian religions, especially Catholicism.
• 

  Illuminated

  Luge, I sent you a personal message. Click the envelope at the top right corner.
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  TheMark

  Love sure is blind.
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  WireRider

  I am still trying to get over the exact same issue. It did not end well.

  We were together for two years, and engaged for 24hrs. Her family found out and she was emotionally tackled by her whole family and all JW. I could tell from remaining phone calls that she had been relentlessly lectured. I called one day, and completely out of the blue, said you're only calling because you must be horny. I was floored. It was completely not her. I was able to talk her in off the ledge and the 2hr call ended well. But that was the beginning of the end.
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  kaik

  I would say, run, run away, and don't look back. Or help her to leave the cult, but you will be the reason why she won't have a family anymore as everyone will shun her. Do not think that marrying to JW will allow you parallel faith without huge problems. For many JWs, organization and cult is foremost, and they are willing to sacrifice everything, even the life of their children in the name of "Truth". I would recommend for you to break up nicely. Madly in love does not last, and you will collect only sour grapes.
  
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  roberto avon

  here is ( a part of my experience )

  
  

  - we didn't marry in the KH and she was reprobed so no dubs at our wedding (

  with exception of a very nice couple )

  
  

  - our children weren't baptized as Catholics

  
  

  - the cildren were allowed to do all the normal activities including Xmas and birthdays at school

  - activities as karate, gymnastics and so on

  
  

  - yes at the beginning a lot of meetings assemblies ( I also participated for 4/5 years )

  and bible teach book for the children

  
  

  - at 8 or 9 my daughter confessed she was an atheist. We ( also my wife ) stood behind her

  
  

  - all the 3 had/ are having a higher education

  
  

  My wife is after 28 years, what I call a non practisant Jw (!in the last 3/4 months 2/3 meetings )
• 

  joe134cd

  Desiriousofchange= Amen to that my brother!
• 

  Witness My Fury

  If you are intent on marrying a cult member against all better judgement then expect to spend the rest of your time with her being the target of cult indoctrination and being expected to join.

  Any children you have will also be the targets of cult indoctrination and be expected to join. That is without the the chance of dying from the blood issue, having their childhoods stolen and messed up by being brought up in a cult. They wont thank you for it one little bit.

  The only way this will work is if she is willing to research her religion and see that it is a cult and then leaves it truly and firmly behind her.

  If she isnt willing to even research her own religion (she doesnt know it's a cult yet) or even read on a forum like this one, then you have no hope at all, use that point as a wake up call to your self and walk away from this madness.
• 

  _Morpheus

  "Again I would like to thank everyone for their comments and advise. It is deeply appreciated. I wish at least one present JW would voice their opinion. "

  Just as an aside, what you have read on this forum is 99.9% written by JW's. Almost everyone here either is or was an active JW. Its sort of niche geoup in that regard. If you were never a jw the board probably dosent appeal to you, the notable exception being if you married to a jw or were somehow closely tied to one.

  What you are reading is the sum total of centeries of combined jw experiance.

  In the end your a grown man and will do as you wish. You SHOULD do as you wish. We will still be here for you in a six months when you come back asking how to deal with her now that shes gone back to the cult and wont sleep with you anymore, never wants to do anything except go to her cult meetings, assemblies and knocking on peoples doors on the weekend. We will be here for you when you complain about her not respecting your right to observe holidays in your own home. We will be here for you when you complain about how the church elders are involved in your marriage to an uncomfortable degree, telling her how to treat you and making decisions for her. We will be here when she dosent want to associate with your family because they are "worldly" or go to company events with you for the same reason. We will be here for you when she starts obsessively preaching to you, trying to convert you to her faith. We will help you reason with her from the bible although she will ignore it. We will help you share with her the history of her reilgion although she wont believe it or want to hear it from you. We will be here for you through all of that and more.

  just dont say we didnt warn you.