HAVE YOU BEEN CALLED "YOU IDIOT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THE CRACKERS AND WINE"?
15 Perhaps you are wondering if you have received this wonderful invitation. If you think that you might have, ponder some important questions. Do you feel that women have small brains and should shutup? Do you have complete hatred for “higher education,” yet still have the nerve to request free services from those who have completed university degree programs? Did you serve in Vietnam and enjoy bringing up your experiences there? Have you found yourself blaming everything from tight pants to women speaking their minds on homosexuals? Do you have a burning desire to star on a cheesy Internet fake news program? Do you have a deep inner feeling of superiority over others spiritually? Have you seen that nibbling crackers and sipping wine has improved your station in life, perhaps freeing you from a miserable missionary assignment in some hellhole? If you answer these questions with a resounding yes, does this mean that you now have the heavenly calling? No, it does not. Why not? Because you also need to be a fat white dude with male pattern baldness that you're trying to hide (sorry, we have enough token exceptions to these rules among the 'genuine anointed'). Jehovah’s spirit works invisibly and mysteriously, so the Governing Body will notify you when and where any anointing happens. In fact, if you have received the anointification calling, we'll let you know. Ha ha, just kidding. We're sure that none of you have been invited to receive the heavenly calling to Warwick.
That was the original draft of the paragraph.