Where you are in your life now.....What would you have preferred .... To be left in ignorance ? ...Or to know the truth about the truth

by smiddy 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • FayeDunaway

    I get to do volunteer work that actually has meaning for me now. Through my church, I deliver Christmas gifts to underprivileged children, and also children whose dads are in prison, with a note from their dad. This means a lot to me. I visit elderly people who are stuck in their beds, deliver them flowers and make them still feel part of their community. I no longer have to be a watchtower drone, doing whatever they ask of me according to their own interests.

    The benefits are countless, really. I was in for almost 4 decades. Time to start living my own life and doing what I believe in. Time to be an active member of my community. Time to stop thinking of everyone else as being 'worldly.' Ive mostly lost my birth family, and I love them and miss them, but thank God my husband and all of my children are not lost to me. We can be together, always, and there's nothing a bunch of men in a little room can do about it.

    As Caleb said in another thread, leaving was the smartest thing I've ever done. There is no question.

  • Diogenesister

    ms Faye Dunaway You are not only beautiful , talented actress..😄

    you are smart & beautiful on the inside too!

  • LongHairGal

    I am a fifteen year "fader" who was in the JW religion about 22 yrs. But, the last few years I was there I hardly went.

    I am glad to know the truth about the whole sham and would never have wanted to remain in ignorance. However, if I had not found out the truth about it I probably would have run screaming. I don't think I could possibly have remained there.

    I was a fringe Witness because I had a full-time job and I refused to quit it so that I could "pioneer". These people weren't supporting me and I was not about to quit a decent job with benefits so that I could do manual labor (housecleaning) with no benefits just to appease these jealous idiots. I may have been a fool but I drew the line there!!

    I also let a lot of their teachings go in one ear and out the other, especially their attitudes about women. Never believed anybody's divine claims.

    I have no family there. Thankfully, it was just me who got involved in this mess. When I left the religion I re-established contact with estranged relatives before it was too late. Priceless.

    I am retired now and fairly content and have a few new friends. I don't believe anybody is 100% happy in this world. I made peace with the idea that I wasted time in a cult. Someone told me I should look at it as though I were in a bad marriage!

    I'm just glad it's behind me but I do feel sorry for anybody who was really damaged by being there!

  • kaik

    I am in mid-40's. I grew up in it. I left 21 years ago, while leaving my entire biological family trapped in the cult. I started a new life with full of ideals. Most of the came through. I have successful corporate career, have a house with picket fencing, got education in field that I love. I am six months away from earning my master's degree (hard doing it by working full-time). I need that master to get promoted. I have stable marriage with the same person I met 18 years ago and it was a love on first sight. Leaving WT made me to think about future all the time. I am a planner, and I need stability. WT gave cocoon to people not to worry about future, only live for present. I am hoping to save enough money, I can leave workforce at age 60 and enjoy retirement.

    I see how my JW family fared: broken marriage, no comfortable life, but having a hope that Jehovah will rescue them from their misery. WT is prison or totalitarian cult. I lived in totalitarian regime, and I understand why many people long to live in it. Totalitarian regime will line up your life for you, and you don't have to do anything. Just listen, and obey. Conform and do not complain. WT takes creativity and individuality as payback. I do not regret leaving WT.

    I regret that my parents accepted my aunt's invitation to have bible study.

  • smiddy

    I have had a tear or two in my eye with some of the comments made on this thread ,some very deep heartfelt experiences that many of you have gone through and are continuing to go through in some cases .

    I envy you , who can give a personal answer to each and everyone who responds to your posts.I wish I could do so .but sadly I can`t. Sorry,....Old age ,,....computer illiterate,.....lazy brain, ?....you name it.,.... I`ve got it .

    However I will try to PM as many of you as I can with some feedback , and I thank you for your responses .Truly.

    Their are some excellent responses to this thread that warrants somebody with more qualifications/ insight than I to progress this subject further , any takers ? the balls in your court .With my blessing.


  • Prefect

    I was brought up a witness.

    I am happy in that because of that I have met my wife, have a happy marriage, have children and my grandchildren. One who has just started University.

    As to TTATT I am at a crossroad.

  • Muddy Waters
    Muddy Waters

    I got sucked into this religion when I was around 20, at a terrible time in my life and the JWs seemed so wonderful, and I wanted my life to be sparkly and clean and wonderful like theirs, I could not see that it was an illusion (or delusion).

    After almost 30 years in, I am glad to be out of it, though I am glad for the good things it gave me, and yes, there were good things and people, the most wonderful being my husband, who is also out - and so I feel blessed.

    It feels like the whole world has opened up, and I am discovering anew that it can be a delightful, lovely place without the gloom and doom cloud of Armageddon and Jehovah's terrible day of anger looming constantly over our heads.

    It was hurtful, to learn TTAT - the truth about the truth - I felt so betrayed and used, I felt taken as a fool. I read Crisis of Conscience with tears pouring down my face.

    I would never want to become a Borg drone again, despite the difficulties of reintegration back into humanity and society. (An aside -- Can really identify with Seven of Nine, lol!! When we watched Star Trek Voyager, her stories would often make me cry. I hope I'm not the only one who cries watching Star Trek, lol!)


    and now, trying out my new signature quote, lol...


    "May God, or the universe, or airborne spaghetti, or energies or wavelengths or frequencies, or quantum particles that somehow attract things to us, or telepathic manipulation by aliens -- bless you. And may you have peace and a good day. And if you are not having a good day, may you find at least a moment of something good in your day."
    - Muddy

  • OnTheWayOut

    With childhood exposure from my JW mother and her sister-in-law, I converted to JW in my mid-20's. From my first returning to my last meeting was 20 years. I still have a JW mother, I gained a JW wife who is still a firm believer, and I have JW in-law family. The main positive aspect of my situation is that I have no children.

    Despite all the JW's in my life, I could not imagine wanting to stay ignorant for any reason at any age. While it is difficult being in a divided marriage, my marriage is strong enough to weather the problem.

    As a fader, I am not shunned by my mother nor my in-law family. Even if I were, I would rather be out of that Kingdom Hall. If I had kids, I would have been quicker about getting out of the religion and letting them have a normal life. I would have accepted any JW consequences for myself to let them enjoy a cult-free life.

    I have no financial penalty in my life for leaving. My start on the road to mental freedom also started me on the road to a better financial future instead of just waiting for paradise around the next corner. Staying JW was influencing my mental health negatively as I had serious unresolved issues from before converting. Freeing myself allowed me to seek proper help.

    My situation above makes me biased. I am way better off in virtually all ways by being free. But I stand by my thought that all people, no matter their age or situation, deserve to learn the real truth about "the truth." I get that some are old and won't accept it, and some are in so deep or buried in it in such a complicated way that they wouldn't leave even knowing it's a lie. But anyone in such a situation should be free to decide such things for themselves.

  • LevelThePlayingField
    John Aquila - You said it man!!!
  • 1Averagejoe
    John Aquila Well put!
    If one has a desease that is sapping his life's energy it's always better to know of it earlier than later. I got in contact with the jws in my early 20's, impressed on how only they knew the "signs of the last days" and bible in general. The love bombing I received at the same time as my mother and sister were as we had just moved to a new place with no contact played its part well.
    Do I regret knowing Tatt? Wish it had been earlier but after I met my wife, (we both awake and in the fading stage.) Crisis of conscience finally confirmed what I had been feeling deep inside but not wanting to fully come into terms with. My desire to please God had been abused. Still have in laws who are jws but fading too and others not too deep.
    Being in my 50's with my youth and effort used up by the Borg, having spent most of it as a bethelite, of course there are disadvantages of being awaken late and having to start over again....but better late than never.
    Now I no longer teach the lie.

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