I miss being a JW (page 6)

Tatiana

Joelbear.....I've missed you. I don't know if you've read any of my posts recently, but I have been so very close to ending it all, that I got truly scared. I've felt lost too. Although, I haven't felt like "going back", I have felt that there was nothing else. I've also felt like I was so totally alone.

But, then I remember that was how I felt "inside", too. I know you say you didn't have the same experiences that some of us did, but you have to know how you will be treated if you do decide to go back. You said you have made no decision, only stated what you feel. I know that feeling. Why do you think so many people choose each day to become part of some group.....religion.....organization....cult???

Because they don't want to feel "alone." They don't want to feel "left out." They don't want to feel "different." It takes a strong person to break away from that.

Be thankful for Mitch. Some people never find even that. I consider it a blessing in this world to even have ONE person you can call a friend...

You are lucky in that way.....

And WE are here......:)

Love...

April

Abaddon

I miss hope. I miss the family togetherness. I miss feeling like there was a safety net under me to catch me and help me heal from whatever hurtfulness came my way

The hope is an illusion that is provably false, the family togetherness is conditional, and the safety net gets pulled out from underneath you if you break rules which are very often man-made.

Stop selling yourself 'It'. 'It' was a dream. Life is not a dream. Why not do some work in the community if you're workless at the moment? I think you need to fill the empty space in your life with some positive activity, rather than moping over illusory solutions to the gap in your life.

joelbear

I'm a little beyond moping. My psyche is simply falling apart. I am losing myself bit by bit, my ability to live, think and feel are disappearing.

Hope is what keeps most people going. Yes, atheists enjoy logically arguing against there being a spirituality to life that includes hope, but its still there in most people.

I think witnesses and especially the governing body have overanalyzed the bible to the point of trying to make it into a logic problem.

The core of the bible is in my opinion three things 1) yielding to a power outside ourselves 2) yielding to the needs of others over ourselves 3) the hope of living in a world where everyone does these two things.

These are the things I think keep most Jehovah's Witnesses going despite all the changes in doctrine, scandals, etc. They sense that Jehovah's Witnesses stick to these 3 tenets more sincerely than other religious groups. I have never become intimately involved in another religious group so I can't say.

gumby

The core of the bible is in my opinion three things 1) yielding to a power outside ourselves 2) yielding to the needs of others over ourselves 3) the hope of living in a world where everyone does these two things.
These are the things I think keep most Jehovah's Witnesses going despite all the changes in doctrine, scandals, etc. They sense that Jehovah's Witnesses stick to these 3 tenets more sincerely than other religious groups. I have never become intimately involved in another religious group so I can't say.
First of all Joel, where does the new Testement talk about living in a world where those saved will love God and their neighbor. Everywhere I've read in the NT talks about those saved being with Christ as a heavenly reward. That isn't to say they won't love God there and there fellow commrads. My point is the bible speaks of them reigning and thats about it.
Personally I think you would do well to examine the bibles authenticity and perhaps many of your fears would vanish. That is where all your confusing matters about life comes from isn't it?
Gumby

ARoarer

Joelbear, you are feeling what so many of us have felt. You miss the love,and security, the hope, and fellowship, and healing power of what you believed or thought you were deriving from this religous community. It was very real to you at that time but it just is not so. You have become wise to thier false way of living thier life. Thier love is not really love. And if you go back you will really not be able to show a loyal love to Mitch. You will be expected to behave the way they do towards all who don't believe thier beliefs. You will be expected to believe everyone other than them and you are worthy of dying the way everyone else did at the WTC on 9/11. That is what they want you to feel especially now during these insecure times. But I don't believe that lie anymore. You are living in a wonderful time of history. Yes men on the earth are violent but man has always been barbaric towards one another. We have become more humanitarian now than any other time in history. Women have been treated with respect more than any other time in history. Children are viewed as more important and worthy of respect and protection more than any other time in history. Your relationship with Mitch is viewed with more respect than any other time in history. Good does overcome evil and we can do good without the "group" or "cult" looking over our shoulder watching, peaching, and turning one another in if we don't comply. You will be going back to that kind of thinking. It is the same kind of thinking in that fudamentalist country threatening to destroy the infidel. J W's thinking is the same. You will be expected to shun, to judge, to deny, to condem, to worship a human directed publishing company or else. Take some time to listen to all the kind words many have spoken to you here. So many of us have made wonderful lives for ourselves, not with that false security of the WT but with the faith in the unknown, and faith in thier own strengths given to them by what this Universal being has given them. Don't underestimate your own strength to take charge of your own happiness. That power lies within only you. No one else and no group can give you that. It must come within you to create what brings you joy. Love, Aroarer

Dia

Hope was always there. They just conned you into believing they had cornered the market and were the only ones who had it.

It's still here, just like it always was. You just need to work a little to find it. Like infancy, comfortable tho it is, one day you just have to grow beyond it.

Or not. JWs will be happy to help you delude yourself again. Tho you'd be smarter to keep your thoughts to yourself and just delude them.

Good luck, whatever you do.

Introspection

The core of the bible is in my opinion three things 1) yielding to a power outside ourselves 2) yielding to the needs of others over ourselves 3) the hope of living in a world where everyone does these two things.

I would say that isn't quite it Joel. There may be the yielding to a greater power, but I don't see that power as being outside of ourselves. Likewise, the yielding to the needs of others is not over ourselves, it is including ourselves - not an idea of separation. If you have to love your neighbor as yourself, what kind of sense would that make if it's over yourself? If you have 1 and 2, you no longer need 3. Putting your hope in some thing is basically your own need - which is fine of course, except it won't work when you view yourself as separate, which is why you have to hope for some thing in the first place. I don't want to repeat myself as I've already talked about this in another thread, but.. I guess if I had to sum it up I would say it's just about loving and accepting everything. There's a whole process to it, and though it may seem strange but you love yourself fully, even your despair. It isn't about loving some idea that sounds nice, but if you include everything then the focus won't be on what you think or how you feel.

As for your psyche falling apart, I say good. That's happend to me at different points in my life. Spirituality isn't about the psyche, which may sound dangerous to some but I have to be honest with you. What I'm saying is basically love it enough to let it die, and give birth to something new. The only thing I have to add to that is let your current psyche go gently, as if it's a good friend on their deathbed - honor it. It's part of the yielding.

LDH

Joel you are in a self-inflicted purgatory.

You're not happy as an XJW and you sure won't be happy if you go back.

The only thing left for you to do is create your own reality. Got it? A lot of us are missing our families. There is no remedy, and we sho as hell ain't going back.

Lisa

ScoobySnax

Joel....Above all the babble,I know where you're coming from mate, take care of yourself and email me anytime....you got that? !!!!! Scott

thewiz

joelbear

sarcasm will get you nowhere

I miss being a JW

Share this