Boyfriend force me to study the bible or no marriage

by MuslimWoman 52 Replies latest social relationships

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    Musilm woman:

    "And I wanted to get married too (I want to live in the US..)."

    be honest with yourself here--are you marrying him to get a visa ?

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    2 Corinthians 6:14

    14, Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, For what partnership can righteousness have with wickedness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness? 15, What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?…

    Your boyfriend wants you to study with Jehovah's Witnesses because he eventually wants you to become one as well. He has been raised to believe that if he is not a Jehovah's Witness and or that if he marries someone like you (an unbeliever) who isn't a Jehovah's Witness, God is going to kill him at Armageddon. He has been taught to believe that this will happen very soon.

    If you study with the Jehovah's Witnesses and don't renounce your religion and become one of them by getting baptized in water, he will very likely end your relationship.

    If I were you, I'd come to grips with the fact that as long as your boyfriend is mentally and emotionally still in the influence of the Jehovah's Witness religion, you will be viewed by him and his family as someone who is coming between he and God and you are endangering his eternal life. To Jehovah's Witnesses and to him, you are a "worldly woman". They truly believe that you and your religion are part of Satan's earthly organization and God is going to soon destroy you if you don't change. They believe that it's their solemn duty to save you from Satan's grip and if you refuse to change, they must stay away from you.

    It is unlikely that this will ever change his view on this because he has thoroughly taught not to look into other religions or consider outside information for fear that Satan will draw him away from what they believe is the true God Jehovah.

    If you don't believe me, just ask him outright : Do you expect me to get baptized after I study with Jehovah's Witnesses and if I get Baptized, will I be expected to go from door to door recruiting others?

  • Crazyguy

    Totally run from this guy. The JW religion is a cult much like hard core Islam. You dont need this in your life. Plus he’s a control freak! If you do decide to study despite the advice your getting here then at least let us help you to show him through questions you can ask him that his religion and it’s doctrine is not Christian but a false teaching.

  • carla

    Research this cult then run like heck.

    I hope you understand that the jw's are not Christians, at least most mainstream Christians do not consider them so.

  • jwundubbed

    I agree with so much of the advice given here so far.

    One thing that you need to know is that members of the Jehovah's Witnesses are taught to be abusive and to believe that their abusive actions are in fact loving and kind. Many times they don't even realize that they are abusers. He doesn't love you. He doesn't know what love is. None of the Jehovah's Witnesses recognize how to behave lovingly and kindly. The fact that he is giving you an ultimatum about marriage in order to control you is proof that he doesn't know what love is nor how it behaves. Leave him before he really hurts you.

    Life in the US as a Jehovah's Witness is not a benefit. As a woman you will have no rights. The JWs will look at you as trash and worth nothing. If you are able to have children you will have slightly more worth than if you can't but still... women are only good for procreation and cleaning toilets. That is the best you can hope for. You will be discouraged from working a well paying job, from getting an education, and from doing anything that betters your situation. Is that the US that you want to live in?

    Also... you mentioned being balanced from reading a few texts from a holy book. There are many people in the world who only read a few texts and are balanced in their views. However, there is not a single Jehovah Witness that can make that claim. It is part of their indoctrination that they take texts out of context and pervert their meanings. Most Jehovah's Witnesses have only read the entire Bible in snippets and texts taken out of context. Those that I know who have actually read the book cover to cover have had questions about why what they are taught doesn't match up with what the bible says when you read it in full. But by that time the indoctrination and brainwashing and emotional blackmail is too overwhelming to overcome.

    Also, Jehovah's Witnesses are not Christians. They think they are, but they aren't. They do not believe that Christ is God, but that Christ is God's son. He is the good son. The son that does everything right. But they don't follow Christ. If they did, they would be called Jesus's Witnesses.

    Run away and find a person who is balanced to fall in love with. If you want to live in the US... apply for a visa. Getting in through marriage is not a good way to get into the country and it is a terrible reason to marry someone. It puts you at risk of being abused and mistreated. You can be better than that. You could even go to college and study in the US. Many students then get jobs, and then work visas. And if you really want to... get working on the process of becoming a US citizen. But consider... you get back what you put in. And if you try to come to the US through marriage... you make yourself vulnerable to abuse and because you don't have citizenship you have less resources. If you get involved in a cult, like the Jehovah's Witnesses, you will have even less resources. Don't set yourself up for that.

    Also, be forewarned. The American Dream is a fantasy. It sounds too good to be true because it is too good to be true. American life is nothing like what you think it is. It might be better than where you are now, or it might not. It might just be a different. If you came as a student you would have the chance to see what life is really like and to decide if you really want to live in the US permanently.

  • Incognito

    Welcome MuslimWoman!

    It is smart of you to recognize something is not correct in your relationship and for you to come here to ask questions of people with experience and who will answer honestly. While not truly an ex-JW forum (everyone including active JWs are welcome), most forum participants are ex-JWs.

    Although your boyfriend only asks for you to 'study the bible' (it will actually be Watchtower publications) for three months, his conditions will continue to increase and eventually require you to preach to others and become baptised yourself as a full fledged JW.

    Even as a disfellowshipped person may not have attended JW meetings in years, many continue to hold on to a belief the JW religion is the only true religion approved by God. While they may have physically left the JW religion, the religion hasn't left them.

    Until he realizes himself that religion is untrue and not chosen by God, and then decides to leave it, he will likely not be persuaded by anything you or anyone else says. If you attempt to influence his allegiance to that religion, he will probably resent you for your attempts, which may result in him being more resolved to return faster and more strongly than he would have otherwise.

    Relationships within the JW religion are not just between the two people involved, but also includes the WT organization. As a wife, your needs will come third place, after his own and the organization's rules and requirements.

    As previously implied, find a new potential partner who will place you above everything else including himself.

  • kairos

    Watchtower= dangerous cult with millions of followers.
    Islam= the most dangerous cult with over a billion followers.

    Drop them both and determine your own path while you enjoy personal freedom.

  • sparrowdown

    If he's blackmailing you about this now what will he blackmail you about once married.

    He's hoping if he can get you to study for 3 months you will convert - huh, who'da thought it, one high control religious group trying to convert someone from another high control group.

    Anyway, call this a taste of things to come.

    Tell him to he should not even have a girlfriend if wants to be reinstated back into his religion.

  • Giordano

    Do you know what he was disfellowshiped for? Is he trying to be reinstated? That could be one reason he wants you to agree to a bible study so he can tell his Elders that you are converting.

    The JW's are very close minded about marriages outside of their religion.

    Are there Jehovah's Witnesses in your area you could even study with?

    If your looking to get to the USA...... a three month once a week bible study is not that big a deal. Or you could fake it and just become informed on this forum.

    You can tell him you are studying and just look up their web site for any information.

    Others have offered good advice about his control issues.

  • Jrjw

    Please don't listen to him. I was in a mentally and emotionally abusive marriage to a jw man and it was a nightmare and took an awful lot of courage to escape. Escape from it now while you can because it will be the biggest mistake of your life being trapped in an abusive marriage to a jw and not in your own country with your family to support you as well. You will get very little support from the congregation with being a woman and its an awful religion to get free from. We can tell by your post that he's going to be controlling and abusive to you

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