i feel more confused than ever

by BlackWolf 42 Replies latest jw friends

  • C0ntr013r

    Don't tell your parents that you don't believe in God etc. If you really need to talk to them about it, tell them that you have doubts and that you are not sure what to believe. If you make such a drastic declaration you will come across as an "Apostate"...

    I have talked to my relatives about TTATT for some years now and the "Apostate alarm" still goes of if I suggest that God doesn't exist...

    So be gentle with them ;)

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    You are 16 . You still live under your parents rules . Keep the peace ,but expand your mind . Now is a great time to read books on critical thinking skills . These skills will go with you the rest of your life .

    Please ask your parents about allowing you to increase your education exposure . You have plenty of time to learn and live .I promise Armageddon is not near or just around the corner. Please do not let the unfounded fears Jehovah's Witnesses ingrain in their members hinder you .

    I was once much like you . Young and afraid . I was raised as a JW. I worried so much about the end coming . My Dad was not a Witness ,my oldest brother was DA'd . I was so concerned that they would die if the end came ! But of course none of those fears ever came true ......Realize that I was born in the 1960's ! When I was a child my Mother was so sure the end was soooo near because the world was in such turmoil .America was in the cold war with Russia ,my Dad was fighting in Vietnam ,the United States was having Civil rights riots, the President of the U.S.A. was assassinated !

    She told me I would never have to go to kindergarten because the end would come before that .....then when that didn't happen she said I would never go to High School .....then get married ...or have children ......Guess What ? I am 54 yrs old now and I went to School ,graduated ,and raised my own family . But that fear I was raised under kept me from going to college ,or believing I could excel in any personal goals such as music or art . I lived most of my life feeling trapped in someone else's definition of life .

    Believing the 'end is near' stops a person from living life now ! It wastes a persons true potential .

    Live your life preparing for your future ....because your future will come and go just as it has done for everyone that has lived before you .

  • truthseekeriam
    Just come here for support. Your parents will not understand nor do they want to understand, they are happy living in the JW world. This doesn't mean you have to be. Just remain peaceful at home, follow the rules but stand firm on your need for education. Study hard, get yourself in college and then live your life :)
  • JWdaughter
    Take a mental break. If there is anything that you are sure of, or not sure of, its ok. There are _______religions in the world on paper, but every human being on this world perceives the world and understands "the truth" differently. Every single JW even! Don't stress on it. Accept it for what it simply IS. And you can tell your mom that you don't want to burn bridges, you are too young to make eternal, irreversible (in JW they are that serious) decisions and you would appreciate her loving patience as you seek and learn. In the meantime, you will be respectful of her moral rules and curfews, etc, and you won't get into trouble because you appreciate that they are raising you to be a responsible adult. All good things she can't argue with. Jesus was 30 when he was baptised. Work hard in school, get to working and gain freedom and space as appropriate. Don't go getting tatts, piercings and experimenting with drugs and alcohol now. Its not going to help anything with your folks and might limit your options in the future, so take your time growing up and do it right! (I am not judging the tatts and piercings, I am simply watching a couple of young cousins suffer for earlier decisions that they would not now make in both of those areas. They are harder to lose than being baptised as a JW-harder to hide, for sure.)
  • dubstepped
    I told them I didn't like feeling controlled and they told me "where not controlled we chose this" ......

    Umm.........maybe they should listen to your choice then. To do otherwise would be controlled, and like they said, they would never do such a thing, right? I love the JW double talk.

    You're a kid. Good grief, until I hit 30 I really was quite clueless and lacked a lot of perspective on the world. That's when I really started learning how the world works and put things together, started realizing who I was and who my wife really was, and really started maturing. And I wasn't some dumb kid before then. Always intelligent, hard working, had it all together from what others saw and seemed like a great example. I was never in any kind of trouble and excelled where I tried. However, I really was naive and had a LOT to learn, and I'm sure I still do even now, though the amount I've learned in the past 8 years trumps the previous 30. I think there was a reason that even Jesus wasn't baptized until so late by today's standards, and he was perfect. That's a huge step and unfortunately JW parents often push their children into it and then effectively give them a death sentence in the organization by signing them to a lifelong contract without allowing them time to have any perspective. I know my parents got to make the choice and turned their backs on their former religions, but if I do it that's a horrible thing that I should be shunned forever for. Hypocrites!

    So man, take it slow. You've got so much time to learn and grow. You're a kid, so be one. Don't take on adult problems that you have no real need to take on right now. Enjoy life, learn, watch the examples of others and observe how their lives turn out. You can learn a lot just by watching others. I've always done that. Don't let people push you into doing things that you don't want to do, even if they're well meaning like your own parents. Don't let people make you feel doomed and do anything out of fear. Fear isn't a good reason to act. It can be a motivator, for sure, but there are much better ones. You have time to make decisions. Enjoy the process and don't rush anything.

    Take care!

  • Crazyguy
    Your on the right track and be happy that you are. Google contradictions in the Bible then Google Bible prophecies that did not come true. You'll realize the Bible is not what you think it's is.
  • Illuminated

    Sweetheart, I'm not an "apostate", I'm a "worldly" person, not sure if that makes it any better in the confusion you've been inflicted with. Read a book called "Combatting Cult Mind Control". It doesn't mention Jehovah's Witnesses. It is written by an expert in this field who was himself sucked into a cult called the Moonies and later became a leader in it then broke free. You'll find yourself relating to every single sentence and all else your parents tell you pretty much. Freedom is your birthright. Being who you personally choose to be is your birthright. Designing your life according to your purpose/desire is your birthright.

    You're not going to die at Armageddon. This is cult propaganda to keep you captive. Watch the following movies: The Truman Show. The Island. Pleasantville.

  • Heaven

    BlackWolf, Armageddon isn't coming so don't worry about that.

    I am 52 years old. I was told Armageddon was coming 'soon' , 'imminently', 'it's just around the corner' when I was a child, a teenager, and a young adult.

    I am now a middle aged woman and Armageddon has not yet arrived. What do you think the odds are that it is coming soon knowing this?

    If I told you I was coming over to your house 'soon' and in 52 years I never once showed up at your place, would you continue to believe that I was coming soon?

    Jehovah's Witnesses, and their former group the Bible Students, have been saying Armageddon is coming soon for over 100 years. Obviously, this is a lie.

  • cantleave
    The biggest waste of life is living a lie. You've had plenty of excellent advice here, just remember to live the best life you can, remembering that you have the potential to do whatever you want.....as Ru Paul would say "don't fuck it up".
  • datto

    BlackWolf, make two things very clear and hopefully you'll live happier.

    1. It seems like you're awaken and it's difficult to put you back to sleep. That is something you should be happy about.

    2. You must know who you are dealing with. They are not just ordinary jws, they are also your loved ones. You need to go easy on them. This is mature stuff and it is not easy at your age. Anyway you gotta be a man. I know you wanna be an honest boy and express all your feelings to them. But again, check again who you're dealing with. There is no point telling them everything (at this point of time). Tell them something that they could probably accept such as you still love Jesus & you feel closer to god (even though you're not, yes that's white lie). If you wanna express yourself, this forum is the place for you to do that. Slowly and gradually help them into awakening slow and steady. Sooner you'll find that all these actions are an act of love instead of just feeling sick.

    be strong!

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