And here's why!
The following has been prepared in honour of the great man!
btw, are the USA even in the World Cup this time?
THE LIFE AND TIMES OF SVEN GORAN ERIKSSON
1948: Sven Goran Eriksson is born in Torsby, Sweden. His football-mad parents, Erik and Erika Eriksson, name him after Sven Hërring and Goran Vacker, the forward partnership of their favourite football team, Torsby Ünited. They would have named him after the entire first team squad, if it weren’t for the fact that nine of them are called Lars.
1949: Sven’s parents are both surprised and delighted to discover that young Sven has formed his toys into a football team. “One morning we found a team sheet stapled to his cot,” said his father. “His Action Man with the realistic gripping hands was a natural choice as goalkeeper, and the Lego made for a solid defence. We were both very proud of him, although personally I would have played Benny the Teddy in central midfield rather than on the right wing.”
1955: On his first day at school, seven-year-old Sven surprises his teacher, Miss Stromberg, by reorganizing the class seating arrangements. “He said that it made more sense to have the mathematically gifted pupils at the back, supported by the creative types out wide and with history buffs up front,” said Miss Stromberg recently. “The class spent the rest of that year in a 9-9-7 formation, with the bookworms pushing forward whenever possible. I must admit that I had my doubts at first, but that year we achieved the highest test scores in the school’s history. Norden Frostrup was an average child until Sven moved his chair. Now he’s Prime Minister.”
1965: The teenage Sven attracts the attention of football scouts from all over Sweden, but signs for his home team, Torsby Ünited. “He was a terrier,” remembers Club Chairman Prytz Stik, “forever running and chasing, snapping at people’s heels, fetching sticks and yapping at postmen. Er, no, wait a minute, that was my dog, Roland. Sven was a really good player, with physical strength, great agility, four little legs and a wet nose. Er, no, wait a minute…”
1972: A freak accident ends Sven’s playing career when he accidentally collides with a smorgasbord at the end-of-season party, tearing several ligaments. Keen to retain his services, the club offer him the position of first team coach. He makes an immediate impact when he suggests that the dugouts and benches be repositioned so that they face the pitch.
1976: Sven is appointed manager of Swedish side Linköping Argyle, and guides them from ninth in the Dr Rollmop’s League to the Swedish Championship in just five seasons. Experts consider that his tactical masterstroke was moving the entire town 1,000km south to take advantage of the warmer weather. “After he did that,” said Club Captain Stefan Thomp, “we didn’t have to spend the first hour and a half of each training session shovelling snow off the pitch.”
1982: Sven becomes manager of Benfica FC in Portugal, guiding them to 3 Championships, the Portuguese Cup, the Cup-Winners Cup, the Cup-Winners-Cup-Winners Cup and, following a mix-up at UEFA, the Spanish Cup. Sven is regarded as a hero by the Benfica fans, and is mobbed by a crowd of thousands when he goes to the local branch of IKEA for a new trophy cabinet.
1997: Sven becomes manager of Italian giants Lazio, guiding them to the Italian Championship and thus ensuring that he’ll never have to pay for an Italian meal again. “When he first came to Lazio,” remembers Full Back Paolo Linguini, “Sven reviewed every aspect of the club. Within a month he had streamlined the squad, improved the training facilities and uncovered the secret stash of Mars Bars that Paul Gascoigne had hidden in the treatment room several years earlier.”
2000: The English Football Association announce that Sven Goran Eriksson is to be the new coach of the English national team. FA spokesman Brian Nutmeg tells a packed news conference, “He’s more experienced than Kevin Keegan, more diplomatic than Glenn Hoddle, cheaper than Terry Venables and speaks better English than Graham Taylor.”