by nicolaou 166 Replies latest jw friends

  • The Dredger
    The Dredger

    And here's why!

    The following has been prepared in honour of the great man!
    btw, are the USA even in the World Cup this time?


    1948: Sven Goran Eriksson is born in Torsby, Sweden. His football-mad parents, Erik and Erika Eriksson, name him after Sven Hërring and Goran Vacker, the forward partnership of their favourite football team, Torsby Ünited. They would have named him after the entire first team squad, if it weren’t for the fact that nine of them are called Lars.

    1949: Sven’s parents are both surprised and delighted to discover that young Sven has formed his toys into a football team. “One morning we found a team sheet stapled to his cot,” said his father. “His Action Man with the realistic gripping hands was a natural choice as goalkeeper, and the Lego made for a solid defence. We were both very proud of him, although personally I would have played Benny the Teddy in central midfield rather than on the right wing.”

    1955: On his first day at school, seven-year-old Sven surprises his teacher, Miss Stromberg, by reorganizing the class seating arrangements. “He said that it made more sense to have the mathematically gifted pupils at the back, supported by the creative types out wide and with history buffs up front,” said Miss Stromberg recently. “The class spent the rest of that year in a 9-9-7 formation, with the bookworms pushing forward whenever possible. I must admit that I had my doubts at first, but that year we achieved the highest test scores in the school’s history. Norden Frostrup was an average child until Sven moved his chair. Now he’s Prime Minister.”

    1965: The teenage Sven attracts the attention of football scouts from all over Sweden, but signs for his home team, Torsby Ünited. “He was a terrier,” remembers Club Chairman Prytz Stik, “forever running and chasing, snapping at people’s heels, fetching sticks and yapping at postmen. Er, no, wait a minute, that was my dog, Roland. Sven was a really good player, with physical strength, great agility, four little legs and a wet nose. Er, no, wait a minute…”

    1972: A freak accident ends Sven’s playing career when he accidentally collides with a smorgasbord at the end-of-season party, tearing several ligaments. Keen to retain his services, the club offer him the position of first team coach. He makes an immediate impact when he suggests that the dugouts and benches be repositioned so that they face the pitch.

    1976: Sven is appointed manager of Swedish side Linköping Argyle, and guides them from ninth in the Dr Rollmop’s League to the Swedish Championship in just five seasons. Experts consider that his tactical masterstroke was moving the entire town 1,000km south to take advantage of the warmer weather. “After he did that,” said Club Captain Stefan Thomp, “we didn’t have to spend the first hour and a half of each training session shovelling snow off the pitch.”

    1982: Sven becomes manager of Benfica FC in Portugal, guiding them to 3 Championships, the Portuguese Cup, the Cup-Winners Cup, the Cup-Winners-Cup-Winners Cup and, following a mix-up at UEFA, the Spanish Cup. Sven is regarded as a hero by the Benfica fans, and is mobbed by a crowd of thousands when he goes to the local branch of IKEA for a new trophy cabinet.

    1997: Sven becomes manager of Italian giants Lazio, guiding them to the Italian Championship and thus ensuring that he’ll never have to pay for an Italian meal again. “When he first came to Lazio,” remembers Full Back Paolo Linguini, “Sven reviewed every aspect of the club. Within a month he had streamlined the squad, improved the training facilities and uncovered the secret stash of Mars Bars that Paul Gascoigne had hidden in the treatment room several years earlier.”

    2000: The English Football Association announce that Sven Goran Eriksson is to be the new coach of the English national team. FA spokesman Brian Nutmeg tells a packed news conference, “He’s more experienced than Kevin Keegan, more diplomatic than Glenn Hoddle, cheaper than Terry Venables and speaks better English than Graham Taylor.”


  • JanH

    Expat, Dredger,

    Was that a back-handed jibe at the Swedes? I'll have you know us Brits are feeling pretty warm and fuzzy towards the Swedes these days.

    LOL, of course. There is a reason why Eriksson lived first in Italy and now in England. He probably can't stand Sweden either.

    Btw: k, he's your big hero now, but when England starts losing again, he's gonna be the most hated man in England in no time.

    Hmm, I actually have to visit a Swedish airport for a few hours tomorrow morning. Oh, woe is upon me!

    - Jan
    "Doctor how can you diagnose someone with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and then act like I had some choice about barging in here right now?" -- As Good As It Gets

  • montag



    Subject: FW: CNN Newsflash...And there's more...

    And the full story:

    Hollywood to make film of Munich Victory

    Universal Pictures announced today they plan to make a film of the momentous football match that took place on Saturday. "Five-One" is the tentative title of what could be next year's big summer hit, depicting the American national soccer team's stunning victory over Germany.

    Nicolas Cage heads an all star cast as the captain of the brave US Soccer team haunted by the trauma of losing in the 2000 World Cup final on penalties and the death of his wife in a riot caused by English football hooligans, and finds love in the arms of a female sports journalist played by Julia Roberts. Mel Gibson is the no-nonsense Swedish coach who leads them to glory, with Keanu Reeves, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon and Will Smith playing some of Cage's heroic
    team mates.

    Jeremy Irons is set to star as Sir Nigel Villiers-Smythe, the dastardly Englishman who coaches the German team and forces them to play with poisoned-tipped studs to try and cheat the heroic American team out of victory.

    Director Steven Spielberg defended the film-makers' decision to focus on the American contribution to the victory over Germany and inaccurate and even imagined events in the story, saying, "Obviously we've had to take some artistic licence to make the story work on film, but I hope that what we produce will be true to the spirit of what happened on that famous night."


  • mike

    The following quotes from members of the German team were all taken before the match.

    Sweet reading, altogether now 5-1 we beat the scum 5-1 repeat to fade

    "I am very sure that we are going to win this game. We are as good as, if not better than, Sven Goran Eriksson's side. I am sure that we are better prepared for this match than England. We will beat England."

    "We don't have to worry about single players such as Michael Owen or Emile Heskey. We have a stronger team and that is what counts."

    "David Seaman is past his best. Even I would have saved that shot and I don't play football any more. I don't think Seaman has the same standing in the game as our keeper Oliver Kahn, who is better."

    STEFFEN EFFENBERG [on being asked how he rates Steven Gerrard]
    "Steven who? I don't know him. I am not interested in England, or who is in their squad. I don't have time. I have better things to do."

    "In Germany we are not as stuck in the past as the English. We have always kept our nerve and gone on to beat them when it mattered most. They [England] put too much pressure on themselves and they have too much respect. I believe that Germany will win in the end, let's say 2-0."

    "I am glad that David Beckham will be fit. Now England will have no
    excuses when we beat them."

    "How are England going to win in Germany? It hasn't happened for 100 years. "I have no doubts whatsoever that Germany will quite clearly thrash England.. They will easily qualify for the World Cup with this match."

    "Judging from his potential Deisler is a better player than Beckham. He is perfect technically, his crosses are precise, he is dangerous in front of goal, has excellent vision and he is quicker than Beckham."

    "Doubt is not a pleasant mental state but certainty is a ridiculous one." --Voltaire

  • Cassiline

    Reading this debate of sorts made me smile and remember that the French was one of the founders for bottled water I am from USA and I drink bottled water.

    I did drink Evian until I realized its Niave spelled backwards. So I guess thats about a gagillion points for the Brits. :(


    When the pain of being where we are, becomes greater than our fear of letting go...we will risk and heal and grow.

  • nicolaou

    Didn't think I'd ever be posting in this thread again but as I was looking over it I realised that the last half dozen replies were all made on September 10th 2001 - the day before the terrorist attacks.

    It made me wonder if the whole Brits v Yanks thing, as lighthearted and tongue-in-cheek as it was, still exists. Has it been replaced by a tighter, less competetive bond born through the events of 9/11 or are we all just as willing to 'get one over' on each other as we ever were?

    Personally, I'd still like spank the lot of you!


  • searchfothetruth


    When I clicked on this thread I didn't realise that it was an old one at first. So reading the thread and seeing everyone having a dig at each other with no insults or animosity building up surprised me.

    If this thread was posted now, the person posting it would probably be accused of inciting or trouble causing...

    I think Sept 11th has deeply effected the way people now think and as recent threads have shown people are becoming sensitive to criticism, and understandably so.

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