I do agree with larc,it's not healthy to get stuck in an anger mode,,,,and due to the idiosyncratic nature of people,,the time frame is not the same for all......I don't see as much anger as I see residual pain-2 very different things.
And it's difficult for folks living day to day without family,continually being shunned,grief and loss of other life issues.
They will have to live with that everyday of their lives......yes one moves on,but there will always be that residual emotional pain...hopefully not to such a severe degree,as they work thru their issues...we don't know where everyone is on this road,,,we dont know their circumstances or specific experiences . With that being said,the last thing that is efficacious is blanket condemnation.
College was a great ' moving on 'experience for me as well......I learned a lot about people and myself and the world around me....
I believe many have moved on. The ones I know personally have rich quality fulfilling lives. I don't take comments from this board from those as being 'always angry',that's making a global judgement about their lives and oftentimes untrue,,,,,this might just be the one medium that they feel safe and free to express that ONE aspect of themselves.......kinda like other topic specific forums ...where one can relate to one particular interest,issue,hobby,etc.
So believing this I do get offended because we dont know the whole person,just this aspect.....anyway
Ozzie is quite the kind soul from all the postings and interactions I've viewed :> he seems like he was one of the gentle elders I knew.. and I greatly appreciated ozzielike elders,,,,,
HE,it does get better,the transitional period is rough,but you will get through it,hang in there (((((((((EH hugs to ya,luv,Tina
Just logged on again. Thanks for your interest and ((HUGS)). They're greatly needed at times.
I guess it was obvious that an exposed raw nerve in me was touched. I've always been accustomed to the indoctrination that we should hold in anger and be passive. I guess a lot of buildup just exploded. I don't have any other avenue that here to find some peace of mind. I can't talk these things out with those I love most like my daughter or the rest of my blood relatives who are still deeply entrenched in the org. and who would just not discuss anything negative about the WTS. I think they think if my da'd son comes back, I'll become active again.
My husband never was a Witness and it's hard for him to understand the need to talk these kind of things out, to try to make sense of them and to try to get some direction.
I read the help given to others in like or worse situations and take that help into my own heart for healing. I'm glad that kind posting are more the normal kind than hurtful ones, for my sake and for many others that are here looking for the same help.
I agree that elders like Ozzie and some others that post here are the kind you would expect to find as shepherds. Unfortunately, in many congs. and the borg. they are outnumbered.
Thanks again--I certainly do appreciate your kind words though Tina. (My blood pressure is back to normal now.)HAHA
Had Enough (of anger -- now I'm ready for some laughs)
It is good to have a safe place to talk about it,talk can be healing...and what better place than with those who have 'been there done that?' Stuffing down ,denying anger can make one ill,who needs that? :> I'm willing to listen about anything :> I can see your pain and anger, and that's OK.....it's part of the healing process.....
Glad your BP is ok now lol...If you want to have a good laff,check out the topic 'Perfect' by Duncan---he has a cute story about 2 characters Un-oh= You Know an old poster,rabid Jw lol
Fred Hall-our very own village idiot
Ay-Eph=AF,brilliant commentator(he's posting here
Pahr-Kel=Farkel=another brilliant witty poster,here now as well,,,,,(he uses the pic of ALfred E Neuman lol
Check it out,it had me in sttches the first time I read it (((((he)))))))))) Tina
Hi Tina: (had to log off for half hour again)
Just looked at the post of Duncan's. Just what the doctor ordered.
I'm keeping that for when I need a giggle again. I keep a couple of my closest friends (they're on their way out too) "posted" (pardon the pun) of things that are said here and they too would feel so much better and less bitter if they had a computer. Maybe someday they'll be able to join in because they're carrying around a lot of baggage too! At least they get to hear some of the things that are said here and I print stuff out for them that really helps them.
Anyway I'll post again and hope and don't blow a gasket again!!
One other point RR, I got the impression that your family was not in the religion from earlier posts you made. Here, I think you indicated they were, so I am not clear on this point. I think it is much harder on someone who was raised in the religion and all their family is there plus most of their freinds, than it is for someone who came in later and had a "safety net" on the outside when they left.
No, I was not raised a JW, I joined when I was about 19, thus the best years of my adult life were gone, my teenages years were spent at the bottom of a bong.
Yes, I do have family who are witnesses, personal and on my wife's sides. I didn't have a safety net, because when I joined the Witnesses ALl my friends abandoned me because I was no longer any fun, when I left the Witnesses ALl my friends abandoned me becaise I left Jehovah's organization.
But like you, I was prepared, I counted the cost, it wasn't as if I was fed up and had to leave, it was because I was spiritually stagnant, I honestly believe the experiences within the Society were directed by God.
I agree, anger is only good for so long, then it eats you like a cancer. Of course there are exceptions, those who were physically and emotionally abused, take a longer time to heal, this can be seen from many who were never JW's, but even they in time, fight to survive and overcome the anger and bitterness and move on with their lives.
I say, don't give the society the satisfaction, rise above it, so many have, so many will.
Less Religion and more Jesus!
Good post RR
if your teenage years were spent at the bottom of a bong, it doesn't sound like you left THAT great of friends to join the religion. It probably did you some good.
I would just like to say that I have seen people in different areas who have a sense of wanting to belong to something. I saw it when I sold Tupperware and they have these meetings where everybody stands up and sings motivational songs to get one energized to sell the product. I'm sure it's the same in Mary K and other sales companies like these. If one is just looking for something to belong to, then they are going to be hurtm when they are let go of for whatever reason. Many people become witnesses to belong to something. And some become witnesses because this is the first organization that has got them exposed to the Bible and theological teachings of any kind, and they love what they have learned.
Sure you are going to be hurt for a while and be angry. However,anger is a use of energy--negative energy, but energy non-the-less. So I think RR is trying to say that if one is going to expend energy, then why not really, really try to turn it around to something positive; forget the need to "belong" to something for a while and move on. Perhaps one can do volunteer work in helping and counseling young troubled teens, or something/ In other words, DO SOMETHING FOR SOMEBODY ELSE for a while, and you will see how much better YOUR OWN life will be.
In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke -- Much Ado About Nothing (Shakespeare)
While I support volunteerism,,,,,plunging into anything before working thru personal issues can sometimes be just another form of denial. There's nothing wrong with making time for oneself first....to often due to our(read female) socialization and culture we've put our needs on the back-burner way to long....sorting and working thru these is a way of acknowledging that we have needs,worthy of being listened to ,and that are opinions and feelings are important,thus integrating ourselves to become a whole person.
I didnt see the issue of 'belonging' in this at all. Sharing oneself with a group of like-minded people is not belonging. Nor is it showing any need for acceptance. what it is ,is finding ones voice and using it.Voices that have been silenced by society ,and more importantly silenced by the wts who relegated us to second class status.When one wants to regain her 'voice' after not being used for so long,,,,it simply takes practice,,,,and practiced by communication.
I don't view helping others on a voluntary basis "plunging" into anything. But sometimes, when one helps others, that gets the focus off themselves for a while, and one might be able to work thru their personal problems or issues, by helping others and seeing their plight.
And as far as making time for oneself, I have always done that, married with kids and everything. Maybe because I am just a bit selfish--I don't know. The thing is we all come from different backgrounds, ways of being brought up. etc. etc.
In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke -- Much Ado About Nothing (Shakespeare)