by madison149 33 Replies latest jw friends
Hi, Madison! Welcome aboard. I see freedom and fun on the horizon for you. The slow fade thing is best because of the WT policy on the DA approach. I quit cold turkey in 1979 by carefully planning my escape from my JW elder husband and the mind control cult and moving thousands of miles away. That made it so much easier.
Keep us apprised of your progress. All the best....
Welcome to the board, Madison.
I hope you get plenty ideas from this site along with friends that understand what you are going through.
Hugs,
j2bf
Hey Madison!!! It's so nice to have you!!! I look forward to getting to know you better!!! You're probably smart about keeping a low profile. Word got out that I sent a Christmas card and all hell broke lose!!! It turned into a full blown witch hunt. My family is screwed up to begin with and the whole Jehover Witnet thing, it didn't help matters! Actually after time, I've come to realize that I'm better off if I stay away from my hover family anyway. They're a bunch of hypocrites. They're all one big fruit basket!!!
Tell us more about yourself! What part of the world do you live? I'm close to Nashville Tn. My hubby and I D.A. ourselves in 1999. Push came to shove and we had to stand our ground. Long story!!! Glad we're out for good though!!!
Hope you stick around and we see you more on the boards!!!
Tink
Hi madison and welcome,
As you'll see there are always more that a few opinions on this board and personally I think thats a good thing.
I for one (Just my opinion and I hope you take it that way) don't support the fade away for a lot of reasons. I DA'd and I suspect that at some point in the future the JW's will view those who are inactive for long period as DA'd ad well.
I enjoy being free...No hiding here, in fact you see that I'm sort of a jerk sometimes when it comes to the org. I fly a big american flag, put my xmas tree in the front window, have anti-jw bumperstickers on the car, like I said thats me. I just cant live my life in hiding, worried if someone will see me voting and the elder will show up. I could care less now that I'm out.
I am shunned by my family but they are JW's not me...the JW rules dont apply to me. If they choose not to talk to me...Fine. I call them, email them, show up ot the house...whatever I want. They can hang up, delete my email or get a restraining order if they want *LOL* I love my family and they know that they are always welcome in my home and I will not let the org deny me my family.
I DO NOT advocate MY choice for everyone...people are different but when I weigh fading with the hiding and wondering when the rules will change and then be the same as DA...against...leaving on MY terms and living an open no hypocritical life....easy choice. I had enough of double lives and hyoprisy when I was in the JW's.
Anyway...again just my opinion but want you to hear all sides of the issue and beside I like to shoot my mouth off. *LOL* Welcome to the board and I know you'll love it here..Some Great People !!!
RandyW
Hi and welcome Madison!
Great that your husband isn't a JW. This will help you in your fading away. Your husband, even if he isn't a JW, is the head of the family. Use this to your advantage! After a while, they will just leave you alone. You aren't a male. So you are not, in the JW land of authority, very important! Only men can hold any position of authority! So, they will not come after you, unless you go around screaming I AM AN APOSTATE!
Lay low, make excuses, enjoy your family. My husband and I are doing the fading thing too. We haven't had any calls/visits for about 6 months now. After a while, I think they will leave you alone. I will cross my fingers for you for GOOD LUCK!
Shakita
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>draw up a chair & have a cuppa- Madison....Great you could join us.I am in Canada( if your around that part come visit all us happy apostates).CAAR "Cult Awareness & Recovery" is our groups logo.
if you go to http://www.jwinfoline.com/Page/audio.htm you can hear a lot of testimonys .Mine is Grace Gough !!!!Yes I am Mouthy.. This is MY family on this board...I love all of em...Welcome
I'm a newbie too. I faded for about a year, but I'd get a visit about once every 3 months, and then everytime I went to a meeting, an elder would pull me in the back to talk about my attendance. I landed up getting DF'd anyway, 'cause I had to take a stand and support a family member who was DA. Long storry. But I'm glad its all done with now
Apparently, the elders are planning a 3 month campaign to "assist" (via visit) those who are inactive. Just a heads up... you are verrryyy lucky (ahhh, feels soo good to use that word!!!) to have a husband who isn't a witness. Definitely use this to your advantage. Let everyone view you as weak, big deal. Use lots of excuses. Avoid witnesses. Be happy (this pisses them off). When I was fading, I brought up the whole UN thing with my mom... so in some ways she understood "what stumbled me", and until the Society apologizes and shows repentance for their "bad association" - why should I ?!??!? LOL It'll never happen.
Look forward to seeing your opinions and views.
Hi and Welcome Madison,
I faded away about nine months ago.I feel that is the best way.The elders have NEVER been to my house,not even once, since I faded.Maybe you will be lucky and they'll leave you alone too,though I don't know of anyone else who left the org. and wasn't bothered.I made up a bunch of goodie bags and gave them to the kiddies last night.It was a blast!Had the front of the house all decked out for Halloween.Sure is nice to be among the LIVING again!
BTW,My husband is not a Witness either,which makes it a lot easier.That is a plus for you.
hello and welcome Madison
i can understand the fading away thing if other family members are still in, but I don't understand why all are so afraid of what earthly man ( elders ) can do to them. I think they're numbers would be a lot lower if people weren't so chicken. IMA
