by trybalance 121 Replies latest jw friends

  • Bona Dea
    Bona Dea

    Hello TryBalance (great name, BTW) and W E L C O M E!!!!

    I'm not going to be preachy or berating. Actually, I admire you. You do seem to be a very well-balanced individual. Personally, if the things that happened to you had happened to me, I would be a nutcase LOL (I may very well be one anyway). But, anyhow, let me get straight to what I gotta say. I would like your advice as a non-witness, but as someone who is sort of "involved". Here is my PRESENT (as in, I am going through this right now) dilemma:

    I am married to a man (been married for 6 years) who is an unbaptized publisher (not baptized, but is a practicing JW...if that makes sense). We have two small children (6 and 4). As I am sure you are aware, the JWs teach many, well, to put it bluntly, crazy things. My husband is cramming this stuff into the tiny minds of our little ones. While I have no problem whatsoever with my hub being a witness or believing the things that they teach, I do however have a problem with him confusing my babies. I am a Deist (I believe in God, but not organized religion). I have never tried to push this on him or my children. It has taken me 30 years to arrive at the belief system I have arrived at and I certainly do not expect mere children to be able to grasp the things I believe, and even if I did, I don't think that it is fair to force them to think the way I do and teach them that I am right and the rest of the world is wrong. Unfortunately, my husband doesn't feel this way in respect to his beliefs.

    My 6 year old son, now says things like, "I don't like Christmas", but in the same breath will say to me, "I want a lava lamp for Christmas"...or another thing he has said to me is "If I'm not good Jehovah is going to kill me." He is verrryyy confused about God, and he is ONLY 6. A six year old shouldn't have to be worrying about things like this. Life is tooo short. I do not want my children to grow up worrying about stupid things like God is going to kill them if they celebrate Christmas, or if they say, "God bless you" when someone sneezes that this is somehow going to piss Jehovah off. Does that make sense? They are JUST kids. Just last month my son wanted to join the Cub Scouts. My husband would not allow this. Although he (supposedly) "lets" us do some (worldly) things, at the same time he tells the kids that these things (holidays) are not pleasing to Jehovah. Imagine what that does to a child. My 4 year old isn't old enough to understand any of this at all, let alone come to any of the misguided conclusions that my 6 year old has come to...yet.

    I am telling you this because you really do seem balanced. Not that the others here aren't. But you haven't been burned by the witnesses, and you don't have any agendas, grudges, etc. My question to you is: What would you do if you were me?

    It is just a matter of time before he begins teaching them doctrine (actually he already teaches them soul sleep, Christs invisible reign in 1914, Paradise earth, Satan putting the star in the sky at the birth of Christ) which will only lead to more confusion in my kids lives. I just want my kids to have happy, simple, NORMAL lives. They deserve that. It would be different if he just made the choice to convert and left it at that. He is an adult, free to make his own choices about such matters. But he is attempting to indoctrinate my children with this nonsense and possibly mess them up mentally, socially, and perhaps physically. In addition, I know that there is the possibility that my kids may grow up and actually go along with their father. What then? Where will that leave me? A worldly, deist mom. I cannot bear the thought of my kids (and in affect, eventually any grandchildren) having little or nothing to do with me simply because I am not a witness.

    What would you do?

    Thanks in advance for any response!


    Edited by - Bona Dea on 14 October 2002 10:44:44

  • jurs


    I wasn't raised in the org , I came in as an adult. My husband was not a JW. He was love bombed and had NO problem with me being a witness. I raised my kids as jw'S , we didn't celebrate holidays , Our social circle was the JW's, our kids didn't play sports ect. ect. M y husband didn't complain. He went once in awhile to meetings even. He didn't believe it all and wasn't a spiritual person, but he thought it was a good religion anyway. I AM SO GLAD YOU ARE NOT OPPOSING YOUR WIFE. II'll tell you why. If you did it will make her cling to the org ever more closely and her chances of waking up lessen. As witnesses we are very paranoid about those used by Satan to try and turn us away from Jehovah. Just reading your posts I'm wondering if you'll not one day become a JW. Its obvious to me that you've been very influenced by the org and have already been taken in. Its sad because we know where your heading and what your getting yourself into but we can't do much more because your NOT openminded. Your further in than you think. I just want to let you know I don't judge you for that. I can remember being in your place thinking along those same lines. Just remember .... If the time comes, when your limping out of the org and your your feeling dazed, because its tramatic, we're here for you. Because no "worldly person" will really be able to relatre to what your going through and you'll be too embarrased to tell themb anyway. I hope the best to you and your wife.


  • sf

    Hahaha, ok, my turn....

    "To Iwasonceyoung, I would not say these people are close friends. I have different levels of friends. SOme that I share different parts of me with. Duped? I said already that I do not beleive like they do. I go with my wife. I don't know why it seems needed to repeat myself here. I told them where I stand and that is what it is. If they do not hear my words like some here don't then oh well. I say what I mean and mean what I say. I hear all the anger, the hurt and the pain. That is without question. My question was not- Can you or have you been hurt by the church? My question was Why do you feel the need to fuel the pain and anger here? Please keep my words straight. And please do not try to read between the lines. I said and asked all that I intended and nothing more."

    Count the 'I's'...the 'my's'....and every other hidden, narcissistic motivation in each post. Not just the above post.

    I mean, how much more incredibly transparent can you get? 'As if' YOUR (quest) tions hold ANY true (con) cern for ANYONE who EVER was 'affliated' with that criminally corrupt book publishing company disguised as a 'religion'.

    DO YOU YAHOO?? Lettuce chat, shall we?? I will answer all of YOUR (quest) tions about MY rage. Or is that just a front for what you are really 'fishing' for? Where is YOUR wife? Does she know you are inquiring here? Or are you keeping 'secrets' from her already??

    In each post, it is solely about YOU...."I"...."MY"...."ME". You couldn't possibly have a klue as to what drives my rage towards the WATCHTOWER'S 'MURDER MACHINE'. But if ya yahoo with me a while, you'll get a real good indication.

    You got the balls to TAKE MY RAGE ON? hahahahaha

    Careful what 'you' ask for....if you aren't prepared for what 'you' get! Seems you needs to put a bit more brass on your balls before you hit submit.

    sKally....'trybalancing these balls' klass

  • trybalance

    You seem to be the one bitching sf- I - yes I just had a question- You da one dat done got da attitude and then gonna be tickled over it- And gain "I" said dat.

  • jurs

    Hi SF,

    I don't know much about you but I gather from the post above that your spouse is a JWand you are not one but don't oppose. Am I right? You wanted to know why the need to fuel pain and anger here? I can't explain that, my husband once asked me that too. I have taken months away from here and then when I come back it is kindof like an addiction. Not too spurt hate but too chat and see if someone answered my post. Sometimes I enjoy the dissagreements and enjoy visiting with people that are in a way a friend. I think alot of people NON JW's are involved in chat rooms and forums about topics that they are interested in. This is mine.

    You said count the I's the my's and narcissistic motivation. If I'm speaking MY opinion and relating MY personal experience, what other word should I use?

    Your post doen't make alot of sense to me but it seems as if your really upset and very angry. Why do you hate ex JW's? Just curious why you feel so strongly. By the way I think I'm a pretty straight shooter with no hidden messages to my posts. I would like to know your background and why u feel the way u do. No hidden agenda I just like knowing what makes people tick. jurs

  • BeautifulGarbage

    Troll alert, people.


  • trybalance

    Good luck guys- When ya cant give a straight answer then ya gotta puck the question apart. You guys enjoy the wtchtower and you just love this stuff. Cnt figure out why, and you cant firgure out why either. But I knew that this 1 question would start up some BS here. Had words put in my mouth- accused of not having a heart and not loving my family. Now you guys can just go on and try to figure this out.

  • Satanus

    Troll alert, people.


    Must be, and a smart one.


  • jurs


    You seem to love this stuff too! Are you reffering to ME not giving a straight answer? So you came here to just start some BS ! I'm not surprised. Something about your posts made me a bit suspicious of that but I thought I'd give you the benefit of the doubt. As far as trying to figure you out , I think I've already got you pegged. You'll make a great witness someday!


  • WildHorses

    BG, SS,

    I'm begining to think the same thing. For the simple fact that he keeps saying we are not answering his question with straight answers.

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