Things JWs don't say

by WildTurkey 55 Replies latest jw friends

  • gumby

    God bless you


    The Good Book


    Prayer Circle

    All current/not so current... worldly sayings;..Bitchin, sucks, Rad, gettin off,etc. (at least you don't say it in front of the mature loyal dubbers)

  • Sherri


    I found your remarks about your friend's lack of social skills interesting.

    When I left 16 years ago, I was nearly 27 years old and had been married eight+ years. However, because I had not been allowed to have normal relationships in school and certainly nothing approaching a normal relationship with the "men" at the KH, it was as if I was only 14. I had no idea how to relate to people without trying to convert them at the same time.

    Also, I found that I was way too open with people; I said things that were inappropriate to people I had just met. As a JW, I (naively) thought that everyone had my best interests at heart and could be implicitly trusted. Even though I eventually found this wasn't true, some of that sense of things remained.

    I remember one guy I dated a couple of years after I left. He was a bit older than me, and he was totally amazed at how I told him so many intimate things about myself (intimate, not necessarily sexual); he actually told me that I shouldn't be that way, and my feelings were hurt.

    If you go through your pre-teen and teen years as a witness, I think it can do tremendous damage, not only to your self-esteem and, really, your sense of yourself as an individual, but also to your ability to form mature relationships with others.

    It's easier now, but I'm still conscious of how being a witness (de)formed my social skills.

  • Robdar

    Even saying after a lovely supper that piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah. (Jehovah Jehovah Jehovah.)

    El Kabong, we are now going to have to stone you!



    Edited by - robdar on 3 October 2002 17:11:55

  • plmkrzy


    NEVER NEVER NEVER will you hear a JW say

    Praise JEEEEEEEEEZUS!" While slightly twitching, and sometimes almost bouncing

    Instead modified versions such as

    Praise Jah with an ever so lite smile head tilted slightly in a downward position


    "Will you be my valentine"

  • gumby


    Man Plum! Not even close on the spelling of hallelujah (shit....I can't spell it either)

    I remember a sister singing" Micheal Row the Boat ashore" halelujah.......and some of the others snickering in the back about how she should'nt be singing that. I thought to myself at the time...."what the crap is wrong with saying Halelujah"

    If it isn't published by the just don't sing worldly religious songs.......(.even though their is nothing wrong with the words of the song.).....pathetic

  • plmkrzy

    I knew there was a j or a g or something missing. HAhahahaha.OH well. I was never use to ever saying it OR spelling it being raised a dub and all so I have an excuse. Oh yeh and no education. LOL

  • Mary

    Here's a few you won't hear a dub say:

    Merry Christmas;

    Happy Hanakah;

    Allah be praised!

    We were wrong;

    We were wrong again;

    and again

    and again

    1914 doctrine is pure bullshit;

    Her skirt is too long;

    I placed all my magazines today!

    Uh Brooklyn, we have a problem...........

    There are no pedophiles in the Kingdom Hall! (aka: there are no cats in Amerika!)

    I just got my PhD

    There are too many meetings and they're totally bor-ing!

    Let's not stop for coffee break today!

  • Swan

    "Aren't these comfortable bleachers?"

    "Please pass the blood pudding."

    "That Tony Soprano sure would make a fine elder."

    "Too bad about John Denver. He was such a nice man."

    "Sorry, I can't talk right now, I'm in a hurry to get to the contribution box before the line gets too long."

    "Hi. This is a child molester and I'm accompanying him today. He has a special message just for you."

    "Wow, I think the lights on the house look even better than last Christmas."

    "Were looking for something to spice up our marriage."

    "Tinky Winky is my favorite teletubby."

    "Brothers and sisters, please come to the pews and find your seats."

    "I had sex with Monica Lewinsky."

    "The circuit overseer's coming that week? Darn, I'll just have to cancel our trip to Hawaii."

    "Darn. The keynote address is over already. I could have listened to that brother read that thing for another hour or two."

    "Yes, brother, I did that. Sorry, you'll have to excuse me. I had the fruit bag every day of this assembly."

    "I hear RuPaul is going to get baptized at this assembly."


  • Brummie

    "I love those apostates, they are soooooo darn cute"

    "we are involved in an international seperating work that will conclude before the generation that saw 1914 passes away"

    "maybe the earth will be destroyed"

    "Stuff the service"

    "Famous people like Prince, the Williams sisters, Naomi Cambell, Jerry Halwells moms and the Yorkshire ripper are all members of our Organisation"

    "The invitation is now open for all to join the little flock"

    "I WILL survive armageddon without a doubt"

    "JRBrown, Paul Gillis & Ted J are so boooooooring and wrong"

    "The NWT is a scream"

    "There is life outside of the organisation"

    "If we leave the org then we definately know where to go next"


  • Marilyn

    Mary and Tammy are hilarious. Mary did you used to be on H20 - from Canada?

    Anyhoo, I once got told off for saying "I got rid of all my mags today". Should have said 'placed".

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