by WildTurkey 55 Replies latest jw friends
"I believe in the Watchtower more than the Bible"
"I believe in the GB more than Christ"
"I believe in the WTS more than God"
"I like a religion that lets me lie"
"Of course I'd lie. And not feel bad about it either. God wants me to lie."
"Guilt? What's that?"
Probably, you shouldn't leave any of your kids near us.
We ALL look clean and innocent. You just can't really tell, can you?
"It's our JOB to make excuses for people who can't control themselves. Because we can't control ourselves, either".
"Feelings? What d'you mean exactly?"
"We're terrified of psychology and psychologists"
"We were once TERRIFIED of smurf dolls"
"There's a lot you don't ever have to see if you just pretend it's not there."
"Yes, the GB do look like a group of perverted boy scouts from hell."
"Our religion was actually started by a man and is less than 200 years old".
"I don't actually know very much about the Bible."
Does anyone remember when the phrase "John the Baptist" was outlawed. They called him "John the Baptizer", as if the former phrase implied that he belonged to another competing religion, which shall remain nameless.
Or how about the outlawing of the word "plan" when referring to Jehovah. The rationalle was that Jehovah never "plans" because that implies an element of uncertainty - he "purposes". That one may have been local, but nonetheless, stupid.
I also heard a circuit overseer go on a rant after hearing someone refer to the other congregation that shared our hall as "the other side". Of course, we are all on the same side. What a moron.
Country girl is right on...and good comments made by all.
"OMG! 1975 was a false prophecy!"
"OMG! 1914 was a false prophecy!"
Can't say Gosh, Golly or Gee because it was short for God and Jesus and that would be taking God's name in vain.
So, watching "Leave it to Beaver" was out because the beaver (Ward, weren't you too hard on the beaver last night?) was always taking God's name in vain. (Golly gee Wally).
But, JW's are always saing Jehovah this or Jehovah that. Even saying after a lovely supper that piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah. (Jehovah Jehovah Jehovah.) Makes no sense, but very little of what they say does anyway.
If I had been an American JW, Id be insane by now...
A get-together? GREAT! You bring the Mazola and I'll bring the rubber sheets and we'll get in a pile and have a group grope.
[I said that once to three elders, one of whom was my uncle. They knew (read: thought) I was just kiddin'. What they really did was smuggle in a LOT of beer from Virginia, since Tennessee was dry at the time, and get knee-walking drunk while I had a private grope with one of the elder's daughters since her father was busily barfing up his beer behind the shrubs instead of protecting his daughter from the congregation's suspected sex-crazed college boy. You know, come to think of it, I got more, um, female companionship as a witness from repressed JW girls than since. Maybe I'll re-join.]
francois
(Just kiddin' 'bout rejoining)
