by BONEZZ 77 Replies latest jw friends


    I thought I'd hit it several times before...as I have been thru the divorce over the past couple of years...lost all my so-called friends...lost my belief in what I thought was the "truth"....AND NOW my own loving daughter, being the good little dub she is has told me she doesn't want me to walk her down the aisle at her wedding. She told me today at lunch. I almost threw up. I was literally sick to my stomach. She would not say why other than it was her decision. Do you realize that every father knows and looks forward (if he likes the boy) to the day he can do that. But you see it will be in front of about 200 dubs at a private residence and I think she's ashamed of me...the fact that I have wandered away from the flock.

    I really really hate the bastards. I've been on Effexor and Paxil for the past two years...I gues they'll double the dose now. I swear if I were a tad younger I'd find another mate who wanted kids and start a new family..but this time I'd do it right. No religion. Family first..and I'd kill anyone coming to my door preaching their brand of hate. I've gotta sort this out. Thank you for letting me vent, I really don't know what to do. I'm tempted not to go but then everyone thinks I'm a real prick. Oh yeah, she does want me to video-tape it..you see I have professional equipment and she gets it all for free but I'm not good enough to walk beside her. God I cannot believe this is happening.


  • Dutchie


    I'm so sorry. No one can hurt us like our children can.

    Be assured that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

  • KKLUV155

    I am so sorry this is happening to you . Another family torn apart by the dubdom.

  • COMF

    Man, I am sorry for you. What a crock. This looks like the kind of thing counselors are there for. It might do you a lot of good to talk to one.

  • Jesika

    Bonezz, I am soooooooooooooo sorry to hear that. Let us know how you are, you know we are ALL here for you. I wish I could be more help. Love ya, Jesika

  • Sabine

    Bonezz, I'm so sorry!

    I know you are not asking for advise, but I feel it's best to fight this craziness with unconditional love. Show her and them that you now how to be a supportive, loving dad even though they don't have a clue what love's about.

    I lost my daughter to this cult, and I never had a father to walk me down the aisle. I feel where there is life, there is hope. Leave the door open and love and support her anyway you can. What I would have given for a father that cared enough to want to be there for me!!

    Just my 2cents worth.

  • blondie

    I take it you aren't df'd or da'd, BONEZZ? Since you can be at the wedding, I would go. I have read of the deep sadness that many fathers have expressed here who had no choice about being there. It would be hard if she is having someone else do what is traditionally your role. Can I assume that no one is walking her down the aisle? Go and take the greatest pictures ever and make sure you are in them. In the long run that is what will last and she will cherish.


    Thanks to all of you for the kind words. The best thing is you didn't tell me to out in service more. I'm already seeing a therapist...guess I'll be seeing more of him. I still cannot believe the power they hold over people and I was in with them...brain dead...wearing blinders to everything else. I'm going thru the whole series of feelings..I was very angry...astonished...now I'm back to just feeling sick with an emptiness in the pit of my stomach. I know many of you have been hurt...probably a lot worse...I've just got to go somewhere and think things out because I really am at a loss. The wedding was going to be hard enough with my recently reinstated, holier-than-thou EX and all her adoring dub friends but I figured my kids still loved me...it really is the ultimate slap in the face for me isn't it? Thank you again for all your kindness...I have to go and figure it all out. I'll let you know what I decide.


  • Derrick

    I wish someone would help your daughter see now, before she lives to regret it later, that depriving her father the blessing of walking her down the isle is an act of dishonouring one's father and mother.

    If we cannot hold to the very tenets of the Bible such as to HONOUR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER then you might as well be committing fornication or other acts of wrongdoing.

    Be sad for her because, in preventing you from walking her down the isle, she has essentially asked Jehovah and his son Jesus not to attend her wedding. Remember that Jesus warns that whatever you do to the least of his sheep, is the same as doing it to him.

    I hope someone can make her understand this because her actions have essentially removed God's blessing from her marriage. Perhaps you can ask God to forgive her, and selflessly ask God to take your place in walking down the eisle along side of her. The real human tragedy, even worse than your suffering, is her guilt for doing this. Your prayers to God can make it right, and hopefully help her see the light of day someday. Take care of yourself and have faith God will right these wrongs.


  • seedy3


    I'm very sorry to hear this, but sadly it is all too often the story with the dubs. I just got back from Minneapolis, to attend my mothers funeral. I walked away from the Borg over 25 years ago and my son reciently returned to them. At my mother funeral while many of the Dubs did offer condolences to me for my mothers passing, my son, whom I stood by while he was going through all his teenage BS with the law and such, refused to even look at me, much less talk to me. I seldom let the shunning bother me, but this one did take the cake, all the support I had offered him during his teens and a place to live when his mother threw him out, it makes me sick to think I was once a part of that group of idiots. If he thinks that the advice in the Aug KM is going to make we want to "come back" he has another BIG think coming. I get a huge kick of the examples that the WTS uses to justify their shunning policy, as the KM tired to do. This shun your DF'd family members and they will want to come back type CRAP. What it really does is makes me madder and hate WTS even more.

    All a person can do is hope our children will wake up before it's too late.


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