Tell me what you did on the doors?

by ballistic 38 Replies latest jw friends


    well I never went door to door....never was a jw. but yesterday I saw a couple of mormon boys accross the street so engaged in a conversation that they stood and waited at a door for someone to answer for 5 min....the folks that lived there moved 3 weeks could see the bare living room through the window...LOL.

  • HappyHeathen

    If it was obvious that no-one was in, we used to stand at the door for ages, talking about anything but the ministry.

    So hilarious that many of us did the same things to drag out FS and interface with as few people as possible. Whenever I could, I'd pair up with someone whom I suspected hated service as much as I did. Then I would set the walking pace to VERY SLOOOWWWWW. I loved it when we hit a door where no one was home. I would just keep ringing that doorbell for the longest time (hey, have to make really sure they're not home!), doing this the entire time in conspiratorial silence with the other person, who knew exactly what I was doing (and was probably relieved). Of course, we never admit this out loud to each other!

    Fun to laugh about it now!

  • av8orntexas

    I was a reg pioneer for 3 years and here in Texas it was HOT. We'd talk about sports,cars...women..everything but what the next presentatuion would be.

    A door I'll never forget....we knock and knock....and finally this guy comes to the door..and he's like who is it ? Welll we're like "Bible Students .......", dude breaks out with "Come back when you graduate ! " I burst out laughing right there in front of the brother.....I had to give the guy credit it was pretty funny to me.

    Sometimes People miss the silver lining because they're expecting gold.

  • ballistic

    av, someone once said to me "Awake? I am Awake thankyou!"

    God, I'm having trouble believing I actually went door to door 90 hours a month. I just can't believe it.

  • latinadivina

    These stories reminded of my own FS experiences. When I was about 15 or 16, my best friend (at the time) and I used to go out door to door on our own. *She's now super religious and her brother calls her "God Mouth". I think she's born again.

    Anyhow, two incidents come to mind. Once, we went up to this door and rang the bell. The bell played the tune "Roll Out The Barrell". So once I thought that the coast was clear (no one was home), I said, "Ring the bell again!" And proceeded to sing "Roll Out The Barrell!" Well I guess the guy was cleaning his rain gutters because I heard him say from about 10 feet away and on top of a ladder, "Hey that was pretty good!" Needless to say, we just got the hell out of there.

    Another time, and like a week after the roll out the barrell incident, we knocked on this door. I guess the guy was expecting guests because he rips open the door and yells, "I hear ya knockin' but ya can't come in!" We died laughing and the guy was all, "Oh, I'm sorry. Do you want to come in?" We said we'd have to come back later. Of course we never did!

  • LDH


    great thread. Like you, I wasted 90 hours a month for years....

    Here are some memories that still make me laugh.

    Once, my sister and I were doing door to door, the hard core stuff. In the middle of winter, in Upstate New York. I was about 16, she about 18. Snow, ice EVERYWHERE. The sidewalks were treacherous.

    We knocked on an outer door. It fell off the hinges and slid past us, down the hill out into the street, a distance of about 100 yards/metres.

    We began rushing to get the door before a car runs over it. As we're carrying the damn thing back up the hill/steps, we start to argue.

    When we managed to prop the door against the house, we removed the tract we left (incriminating evidence, LOL) and turned around to leave.

    Apparently, she felt she had to get the last word in because she said something that pissed me right off. I slugged her in the back (I'm crying as I type this I'm laughing so hard). I did not intend to hit her hard enough to knock her off the upper sidewalk, onto the lower one.

    She fell and BADLY ripped the skin off her knee. I helped her to her feet, and we went back to the car group. The old pain in the ass brother who was driving (in comfort while us dumbasses were out walking in the Arctic weather) insisted on spraying some "Antiseptic" on it. The howls of pain had me doubled over in laughter. Even now, as I think about it.

    I wonder if anyone saw us that day.

    If you want me to post more experiences, just say so....


  • plmkrzy


    (You know motion like you rang the doorbell, but you did not push it?)


    I use to do that!. HAAAAAA. It use to really piss me off when someone would answer the door just before I was going to fake ringing the bell!


    I was never very good at going out in service. I went but never liked it.

    When I was a kid it was fun because people would give me nickels. Hahahahaha.

    Thats when we still use to ask for a specific amount for a contribution.


    I heard a lot of people didn't actually ring the bells; makes me wonder who did that in my days!!! damn.

    Since Ive moved around so much looking back now, It makes me wonder how many JWs stood outside my door pretending to ring the bell. LOL!

    I hardly ever got calls. I use to wonder why. Hmmm.


    we removed the tract we left (incriminating evidence, LOL) and turned around to leave.


    I bet you wish you had left that track now! HAhahaha. Evidence PLUS witness testimony from the neighbors about the brawl in front of the house! BWAAAAAA!

  • LDH


    Wanna hear another good one?

    My sister and I were working an apartment complex for the elderly. Almost no one answered, so we were delighted when an elderly lady opened the door and let my sister get more than two words out!

    She launched into her Rev. 21:3,4 presentation, and then pulled out the Live Forever book! The presentation was going amazingly well, she was even having her first "Bible Study" with the lady right then! (Anyone remember how to have an impromptu study by reading the first paragraph and then asking the question?) The person didn't even know they were being "studied" with, heh heh heh.

    Anyhow, about ten minutes into the whole thing, I noticed my sister leaning toward the old lady in a precarious position! I thought she was doing it to make sure the lady heard her. Then,my sister fainted dead away. RIGHT ON TOP OF THE LITTLE OLD LADY. The weight of my sister collapsed the old woman into the corner, and the old woman began screaming at the top of her lungs! she began "fighting" my sister with all her might (not that much, she weighed about 1 pound, LOL).

    I tried to pull my sister off the lady (almost impossible in winter boots/coats) and then she came to. She struggled to her feet with my assistance (OLD LADY STILL SCREAMING) and then bolted out the door past me! I looked on in utter bewilderment as she ran out onto the sidewalk, spun around and collapsed again!

    The mayhem was unbelievable! The "car captain" had seen her run out and collapse, and he thought she had been shot. I was struggling to help the old lady to her feet, and my sister was laid out on the sidewalk.

    The old lady pressed her button necklace ("I've fallen and can't get up!") and screamed "Help me, I'm being attacked!!!" I asked, "I'm so sorry, but I need to use your phone! I've got to call the ambulance!" This sweetheart actually let me in her house to call 911. My sister came to at some point and struggled back inside, she thought she was going to vomit.

    I'm on the phone with 911, my sister has barricaded herself into the bathroom, the car captain is scared shitless, and the old lady is standing in the middle of her living roon, almost having soiled herself with all the excitement. Add to all this excitement an ambulance crew, and you might be laughing as hard as I am.

    The end result was, my sister passed out because she had been so busy cleaning houses, field service, and meetings that she literally hadn't eaten in two days. I asked her, didn't she feel it coming on?

    She said, "Yes, but I was so excited someone was listening I just tried to carry on!"

    Isn't that hysterical?



  • Nikita

    Lisa and Ballistic, you have made my day! I can't recall anything as funny in my experiences!


  • Mister 8iggs
    Mister 8iggs

    Termite and Lisa-

    Your stories literally made me bust out in continuous laughter. Thank you!

    Me and badwillie worked together a lot when we were teens. We would make up our own language while between doors. For example, we took the word 'buttocks' and kept changing it's pronunciation until we ended up calling it 'buswahsiswah'. Then, we would tack-on "swahsiswah" to words in our conversations that we didn't want people to understand. LOL

    Badwillie and I also used to fart at the door just after one of us rang the bell. We would try to time it so that the smell would go away before the housholder came to the door. ROTFL!!! (Sorry to offend anyone who is turned off by bathroom humor!)

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