Tell me what you did on the doors?

by ballistic 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • SYN

    Holy crap Lisa, that must be the funniest Field Service "experience" I've ever heard! LMFAO!

  • Xander
    Wanna hear another good one

    Ooooh - I like these 'anti-experiences' if you will (like the experiences they gave at the end of each convention...only...NOT the ones you'd ever hear )

    we used to bang on the doors

    Oh, gods, yeah. My family referred to my 'knock' as 'cow-pounding'. Not sure what that means.

    I knocked SO LOUD you could hear the reverb probably a half mile in each direction. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.


    Well, I hated giving presentations. I was uber-JW, believing I HAD to get the message out - just really didn't want to talk about it (I did informally witness a LOT, FWIW).

    Sooo...if a householder DID come to the door...they were usually PISSED already. Start the presentation with:

    "Hello, we're two of Jehovah's Witnesses, involved in a worldwide preaching work supported by donations, and we are presenting this literature...."

    *bam* door in face.

    (My theory was, you never need a presentation any longer than the above. If you knock loud enough, and start off like one will EVER let you get any further )

    Great thing was that everyone was impressed with my enthusiasm, and how I mentioned the voluntary preaching work so prominantly.

  • plmkrzy

    Lisa thr first thing I thought after reading that was "I wonder if it was in the same neighborhood as the door?" BWAAAaaaaaaaaa!

  • YouKnow

    Xander, I'm not suprised you upset people knocking so loud, the only people who knock that loud round here are the police.

  • LDH

    Another one to get your morning going.

    I was going door to door with another young sister. She obviously hadn't read the magazines she was presenting.

    She pulled them out of her bookbag and told the householder, "This issue of Awake deals with the topic, 'Hope for the Mentally Three.' "

    I was like, WTF?!?!??!

    The font the WTBS used on the cover made the word "ill" look like the Roman Numeral for the number three.

    I 'bout pissed my pants, I laughed so hard. Right at the door.

    Then there was the lady who was having her regular Bible study. I accompanied another sister on this study several times. The lady had a new baby daughter, and every time we were there for the study the baby was 'asleep' or something of that sort and never let us see her. We thought she was just paranoid about germs. About two months into the study the lady asked this sister if she wanted to "see the baby." Well, of course we did!

    Imagine our friggin surprise when the lady carried the baby out, and it was a friggin plastic doll!!!!

    I am still in shock over that one. The sister was very kind and "ooohed" and "aaaahd" over the baby.



  • Pistoff

    I have been in for quite a while, i have a few to tell.

    Here is my favorite:

    Myself, plus fat ass lyin elder(TM) and cheerful dopey pub are in the car, in the rurals, watching the CO and another elder witness to mr farmer, while the dog is slowly now sniffs legs of both brothers, and merrily whizzes a very long yellow stream on the CO's brown wool pants; he is wearing long underwear (cold northern plains state here) so he doesn't feel the hot pee hitting his leg.
    We are laughing so hard in the car, we are sure that he hears us, but he does not,

    We have to tell him when he gets back in the car, and also had to leave the windows open for the ride open: think the smell of wet wool combined with strong dog pee.......

    sigh....i miss field service....ok not much but some....

  • Sunspot


    I burst out laughing (LOUD--cuz I didn't see it coming!) reading your posts! I thought I had myself under SOME kind of control (people are SLEEPING here-lol) and that mental picture of your Sis falling on that elderly woman------and the following events-----like something out of Monty Python!!!! I was wiping my eyes and snorting, trying to keep it in :o) SO funny!


    Wet wool and strong dog pee.........I roared over that one too!

    Geez, guys-----I was GONNA post an experience, but you're a tough act to follow, LOL!

    Thanks for a good laugh!



  • plmkrzy
    'Hope for the Mentally Three.' "

    I was like, WTF?!?!??!

    LMAO! There IS hope for the trinity! HAhahahahaha

    Lisa you should right a book of JW short stories. It would sell!

    I drove through Bakersfield Wednesday and Yelled HELLO LISA! from the 15 but guess you didn't hear me eh? BWAA!


  • ballistic

    Hope for the mentaly 3!!!! That had me in stitches!!!! LOL LOL LOL

    The closest I can come to that is back in the early 80's there was a magazine entitled "Pornography - What is the harm?" or worded something like that. My mother offered it to an old man and before she even finished introducing and asking "what is the harm?" his face went white, his mouth dropped open and he said "no - not for me" and closed the door.

    Some of them magazines made me wonder if the writing department really had a clue or not.

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