finally got my thoughts gathered to share......

by scootergirl 47 Replies latest jw experiences

  • scootergirl
    scootergirl

    Hello everyone. I am relatively new to the board and have to say have NEVER had such a heartwarming welcome from so many people! It feels so comforting to make new friends that "understand" where I have come from.

    I have read many many stories, and have sat back in awe....wow, what stories. Mine is quite simple, but none-the-less my story.

    My mother was introduced to the "Truth" around 1975. I remember a very kind woman named Nancy coming to our door and preaching to my mom about the "end of the times". Shortly following this, our family endured two tragedies that allowed the witnesses to offer support to us. First, my sister, Rachel, was born and lived a very very short time. Secondly, our house burnt to the down. These two incidents I feel are very significant in the beginning of our family's involvement w/the Org. My parents started attending regularly and life as I remembered it started to change. I remember being in 3rd grade and no longer celebrating the holidays or birthdays. I remember not saluting the flag anymore. I remember not being able to play w/kids in the neighborhood anymore.

    Fast forward to my teen years. I felt that I was a good kid. Got good grades in school. Very active in the KH activities. I went door to door on Saturdays (always LOVED having to take the door of a fellow classmate!)and studied for the meetings. I would pioneer in the summers and had parts in dramas at the conventions. Here's where I get stuck in my story......

    My mother and I had a relationship that was very up and down. My dad was an over the road truck driver and would be gone for many days at a time (oh how I would miss him), and for some reason, Mom and I just would clash. We could be the best of friends and then be the best of enemies. She had her problems......I truely believe problems that had nothing to do w/the JWs but the JWs helped feed her dysfunctions and warped thinking. She was very controlling. Very controlling. Funny thing is I don't remember much......hence, why this part of my story goes blank. It is like years are just wiped from my mind.

    I really believed in the "truth" at one time. My life revolved around it....

    I can't believe this. I have to stop. I can't believe how difficult it is to just tell my story w/out getting choked up. Maybe this is all I need to write for now and will continue later...guess maybe what I thought was all resolved just isn't yet. I start to think about it and I can actually feel what I felt way back then. I have to keep reminding myself that I am "free"....

    ...to be continued.

    ~Christy

    You know when healing's occurred when you can remember when you want to and forget when you choose.-Bessel van der Kolk

  • jaccilynn
    jaccilynn

    christy,

    i feel for you, and i know it's hard. ((hugs)) to you. don't cry, things will only get better, and the past is behind you. it will all work itself out. i'm proud of you for sharing what you could of your story! i'll check back in to see if you finish it.

    in the mean time, just know that it will all be alright! keep your chin up.

  • LB
    LB

    ((Christy))

    It's an emotional time for you. Many of us have walked in your shoes. Just tell us as much as you care to when you want to.

    It takes awhile to really be free. I'm out for 3 years now and still can get myself worked up over things every so often. I have a feeling you are going to be just fine.


    Never Squat With Yer Spurs On

  • RedhorseWoman
    RedhorseWoman

    ****HUGS***** It's amazing how close these feelings are to the surface. Don't worry about it. When you're ready, you'll be able to talk about it.

  • LDH
    LDH

    Christy,

    Spring is a time of re-birth. And growth.

    From my personal experience, growth is always painful.

    I do understand, especially the part where you said,

    I truely believe problems that had nothing to do w/the JWs but the JWs helped feed her dysfunctions and warped thinking.
    AMEN girl, because this religion feeds into fear and hatred so easily.

    Welcome to the board. Drop me an email any time.

    Lisa

  • Joyzabel
    Joyzabel

    Welcome to the board, scootergirl.

    Please know you are among people who understand.

    Hugs,
    j2bf

  • scootergirl
    scootergirl

    Okay......I took a breather! LOL......guess I got overwhelmed.....

    Things were bad in our home w/my mom and I's relationship. Without going into details, I wasn't a perfect angel.....but was a normal teenager looking back now.

    I graduated from high school with Honors and was also engaged to a brother w/in our congregation. Thank goodness I didn't go thru w/the wedding! After breaking off the engagement, I decided to "move to where the need was great" and continue in Regular Pioneer service.

    I moved to a city about 100 miles away. I was pioneering during the day and waitressing at night. While working I met the most fantastic man...instant attraction! Although I knew the "rules" about dating "worldly" men, I secretly went out on a date w/Leroy. He was the perfect gentleman and I had such a wonderful time. I was very vague about my faith to him....I was so torn. I really liked this man but I knew it was a no-no.

    I remember calling my mother up and asking her about dating...I can't remember the exacts of our conversation but she found out about Leroy. She convinced me to move back home for awhile to "clear my mind". By this time, I confessed to LeRoy about me being a JW and the stand that they take against dating outside the org. I left w/out telling him how to reach me.......

    Back at my parents house I was continually preached to...if not by elders, by those in the congregation "warning" me about such thinking. I was never left alone.....continually preached to.

    Then it happened.......

    My dad (who is the most kindest and gentlest man around)an elder and I were talking one night and I confessed to comitting immorality w/LeRoy. I was informed that I was to have a judicial committee in a few days and I remember my dad hugging me and telling me that it would be okay and that he would be there for me. He had a run to take and would be home in time. Not to worry but that I had to tell mom...

    Mom......the word still makes me shudder at times. She was not happy when I told her. In fact, she went off the deep end. LeRoy had called that night (how he found out where I was I will never have any idea) and in a fit of rage, mom struck me to the ground. Leroy heard all this on the phone but had no idea where I was or how to help. My brother, who was 13 at the time, came upstairs and tried to get her away from me. My sister, who was 8, was in a bedroom and I believe that she heard everything. My mother told me to take what I could carry and the next morning dropped me off at the bus station. I had no money, I had no where to go. She told me that she would make it so that I wouldn't ever talk to anyone in the family again nor the friends at the Hall. She even had the nerve to ask that I sit in the back so that non of her friends would see me. This all happened while my dad was at work.

    Time for another "breather".....

    ~Christy

    You know when healing's occurred when you can remember when you want to and forget when you choose.-Bessel van der Kolk

  • zamzummim
    zamzummim

    I can't imagine how hard it must have been being a female in such a male dominated religion.

    Reading some of these stories makes me so furious at how the JW's made everyone feel so bad about being human, and experiencing human emotions.

  • teenyuck
    teenyuck

    {{{{Christy}}}} I met you today in chat...welcome, again.

    I feel so bad for you. I really do understand. I watched my mother basically do the same to my sister.

    I am feeling your pain.

    Please know that we are here to support and help you through it.

    Tina

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Christy - if it takes you a week or a month to get this out please go slow. There is no need to hurry.

    How unloving of your mother to reject you in such a hateful way. There is absolutely nothing loving or Christian about her behavior> No matter what you did you did not deserve to be treated that way

    Now take it easy and remember to breathe. Ground yourself by hugging something comforting or touching something cold.

    And Christy - you are not crazy many of us have been through similar things - you are with people who care (((Christy)))

    A not-so-silent lamb

    Aspire to inspire before you expire

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