THE SNAKE CHARMER
A long skinny poopie which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position- usually harmless.
THE OLYMPIC POOPIE
This poopie occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered- bears a close resemblance to the Drinker's poopie.
THE BACK-TO-NATURE POOPIE
This poopie may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the woods or while hiding behind the passenger side of your car.
THE PEBBLES-FROM-HEAVEN POOPIE
An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually can't poopie.
PREMEDITATED POOPIE
Laxative induced. Doesn't count.
POOPIEZOPHERENIA
Fear of pooping- can be fatal.
ENERGIZER vs DURACELL POOPIE
Also known as a "StillGgoing" poopie.
THE POWER DUMP POOPIE
The kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your pants down when you're done.
THE LIQUID PLUMBER POOPIE
This kind of poopie is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor. (You should have followed the advice from the Lincoln Log Poopie.)
THE SPINAL TAP POOPIE
The kind of poopie that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to be coming out sideways.
THE "I THINK I'M GIVING BIRTH THROUGH MY BUTTHOLE" POOPIE
Similiar to the Lincoln Log and the Spinal Tap Poopies. The shape and size of the turd resembles a tall boy beer can. Vacuous air space remains in the rectum for some time afterwards.
THE PORRIDGE POOPIE
The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two choices: a) flush and keep going, or b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.
THE "I'M GOING TO CHEW MY FOOD BETTER" POOPIE
When the bag of Dorritos you ate last night lacerates the insides of your rectum on the way out in the morning.
THE "I THINK I'M TURNING INTO A BUNNY" POOPIE
When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiniy splashing sounds as they hit the water.
THE "WHAT THE HECK DIED IN HERE?" POOPIE
Also sometimes referred to as the Toxic Dump. Of course you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odor. Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as people come near.
THE "I JUST KNOW THERE'S A TURD STILL DANGLING THERE" POOPIE
Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to drop off because if you wipe now, it's going to smear all over the place.
