Jack Handey - at his best:
When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police, but then I got curious about it. I picked it up and started wondering about who this person was and why he had deer horns.
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they would never expect it.
As the light changed from red to green to amber and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a lot of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.
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