Our Second Un-Invitation Card

by ozziepost 43 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Had Enough
    Had Enough

    ((((((Ozzie and Mrs.Ozzie))))))

    May I say again how sad I feel that you are having to go through this.

    Your daughter may be conforming to WTS rules now but only because she believes their lies that it is for your own good, to make you feel the pain of separation so you will "see the error of your ways and come back to the flock".

    My daughter also feels this is what will work in our family situation and would like to see me apply that rule to a family member. I avowed to her that I will never be able to do that to any family member, especially my own children.

    We, in our state of having our eyes wide open, see how short life is and how precious family relationships are. They are not to be wasted and thrown away over some misapplied rules taken out of context.

    Hopefully, our daughters will remember how wonderful it is to be a family and will shake loose from the WTS grips.

    I agree that you are doing the right thing in showing her what real love is and you'll certainly not have any regrets for showing her you'll always be there for her.

    Much love and hugs,

    Had Enough

    "Never doubt that a small group of citizens can change the world.
    Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
    ...Margaret Mead

  • Reborn2002
    Reborn2002

    Not to get off track, but lv4er, you said:

    I can't beleive people do this. It makes absoulutely no sense. How could you tell your parents not to attend your graduation. UNREAL

    Believe it.

    When my brother was married March 8th, 1997.. he specifically told my father he was NOT welcome at the wedding, because it was a JW ceremony and my father was DA at the time. So my father was not allowed to see his firstborn son wed. Everyone else was invited, except my Dad.

    It was not even my wedding, but I regret to this day not doing something about it.

    Back then, I was still an active JW. I was a minor (under 18), and even then I did not agree or like the fact that my father was "uninvited", but in the clutches of their indoctrination at the time, I justified it.

    Fear tactics, indoctrination, and mind-control can have an indescribably perverted effect on an individual, and subsequently, their family.

  • Reborn2002
    Reborn2002

    I didnt forget.

    ((OZZIE and Mrs.OZZIE)))

    I can genuinely feel your pain, and can sympathize because I know what it is like to be shunned or avoided.

    My heart is with you in this unnecessary, sickening circumstance.

  • rmayer32
    rmayer32

    I am truly sorry to hear that. I don't think the JW's realize just how distasteful and hurtful they really can be, especially to family members and of all things parents. Just a shame. Glad you're going though, don't let the bastards get the best of ya! Hopefully your daughter will someday realize that the WTS is destroying her family especially at times like these.

    God bless

    -Rick
    "Keeping an eye on the Watchtower deviants"

  • Mimilly
    Mimilly

    (((((((Mr. and Mrs. Ozzie)))))))))))

    It's hateful that such un-invites even exist. The WTS is telling her to disrespect her own parents.

    I'm glad that you are both going anyway. She needs to keep getting a taste of what real love is like. I'm so sorry that you have to be put through this.

    hugs and more hugs,
    Mimilly

    "Our lives begin to end, the day we become silent, about things that matter" ~~Martin Luther King

  • jst2laws
    jst2laws

    Ozzie and wife,

    Though it hurts it is good to remember what Englishman said about your daughter's motive. I suspect he is right. While misguided she thinks she is doing what is right by God and best for you and your wife. Just shows the depth of mind control a cult can have, to think hurting the people we love is best for them.

    I'm sure you have considered all the ramifications of your decision to attend. You have always displayed good sense on this board and have helped others to look at things reasonably so surely your decision to attend will have the best long range effect on all those you love. With that confidence, brace yourself for a few uncomfortable moments but remain determined to enjoy this special occasion and the memory of it for years to come.

    Our hearts are with you.

    J2L

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost

    G'day all,

    You're too kind! But most encouraging. Ta! I'll have to email many of y'all. For now, just a couple of responses:

    Prisca: Sorry about last weekend. Mrs Ozzie's flu just won't let go.

    ItsJustlittleoldme: I think what you say about "the only way you can become a victim is if you let yourself become a victim" is true, but only up to a point. You see, a relationship is built on communication between two parties. If one party refuses to accept the approaches of the other, then what hope is there of maintaining a relationship? So then the one being shunned does become a victim, even if they are unwilling.

    Southland: How very astute of you! You're quite right when you say: "what I don't understand is that since the Society discourages its people from anything other than trade school or two year college, going to the University for four years surely this doesn't follow the rules". How did she 'get away with it'? Because of her father's support and other family members who're prominent in the org. Of course, her dad got a bit of flak at Bethel but this was kept 'behind closed doors' and I braved it out because I really believed that it was a personal decision and was the right thing to do. It was always my point of view that parents should ensure that their children get a proper education which would equip them for life, so that if my son was going to be a tradesman, he should become an apprentice and take a trade course. If, on the other hand, he was going to earn his living at one of the professions, he would need to take a university course. To me, it had nothing to do with their pursuing "worldly goals" at all, but simply getting trained for their occupations.

    Now, what happened today?

    Mrs Ozzie is still sick with flu and has a high temperature, but was determined to be with her daughter on her special day. This morning we phoned another daughter and invited her to travel with us, which she declined, with the words "You know we can't associate with you". At least we tried.

    So we travelled to the city alone and had a lovely relaxed lunch (with shiraz, of course!) at a 5 star hotel. Then made our way to the uni, buying a beautiful bouquet en route. It was roses. When we arrived, what a crowd of familiar faces! Family members and former friends in a large group at the entrance-way. We made our way bravely towards them and what dark, angry faces they had! Almost all turned their backs. (Not nearly as attractive as their faces!!!) Fortunately we did have someone to talk to. We saw a familiar face or two in the crowd, some 'worldly persons'. Isn't it strange how 'nice' people are when there's no conditions?! Anyway we were glad to be able to have a few minutes alone with our daughter and she accepted the flowers. A special day!

    A lovely Christian lady had spoken with Mrs Ozzie yesterday and said tto be grateful for each small moment. Wise advice. We are grateful. But how terrible for young minds to be twisted by the 'puppet-masters' of the borg in such a way. And what is it doing to their emotions? When our lives are ended, it will be a fearful thing to be judged on the basis of what the borg's masters direct.

    Cheers,
    Ozzie

    "If our hopes for peace are placed in the hands of imperfect people, they are bound to evaporate."

    - Ron Hutchcraft Surviving the Storms of Stress

  • Room 215
    Room 215

    Patience Mr. and Mrs. Ozzie, patience.....

    Permit me to predict as surely as night follows day that your daughter will come to recriminate herself bitterly for that ill-considered message. I only pray that that day will come in time for her to make the appropriate amends so se can enjoy the indescribable joys that come with reconciliation.

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost

    Roomie,

    I said as much to Mrs Ozzie today. I suspect it may be later rather than sooner. Thx for the nwords of encouragement.

    Cheers,
    Ozzie

  • outnfree
    outnfree

    (((((((((Mr. and Mrs. Ozzie)))))))))

    I was only able to read this thread this morning and am very glad that you ignored the un-invite and went to your daughter's graduation. Your daughter's acceptance of the flowers and affection you bestowed on her demonstrates at a minimum that you have brought up a polite woman, and MAY indicate that she was very torn at writing that un-invite in the first place and was actually relieved to see you. (One can hope.)

    I shall not remark upon the "darkened faces" and "turned backs" of the 'loving Christians' in attendance! [>:(]

    Sorry for this very, very difficult time in your lives.

    Please take care of yourself, Mrs. Ozzie. A cognac might be more efficacious than a shiraz in speeding you to recovery!

    outnfree

    When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him. -- Jonathan Swift

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