Blackbird,
I've often had the same desire, though I haven't had the opportunity yet. I had the good fortune of being disfellowshipped 8 years ago in a different city. I moved to a new town in which I've never lived as a JW. In the 6 years that I've lived here, I've never had a publisher knock at my door (though once I found a Memorial invitation inside my screen. I believe I must be marked DF on the territory card. I had three annual visits from a local elder (same guy for the three years, but I'd never met him before his first). I didn't argue any doctrine at all. I told him, I grew up in organization, I got baptized at 15 because I thought my father would like it and I wanted to do more stuff during the meetings, I have conducted the WT study, given countless public talks, and conducted a bookstudy for over a year - all as a Ministerial Servant. And yet not once in my life did I ever believe it in my heart. I know all the answers, but I don't believe them in my heart.
He, of course, tried to remind me that the only place I can receive Holy Spirit is at the meetings. I told him that I went to meetings for 35 years. Why would it be any different now? He had nothing. He tried again two more times, and then suddenly, no elder.
I gathered up the nerve to take my baptized minor daughter who was visiting me during the summer to a meeting a few years ago. There was that elder. He looked at me, then looked away. We never made eye contact again. Loving? Hmmmm.
These guys have an agenda. They come at you as long as they think there is a chance of getting you back. You'd think they get a finder's fee. But once they think you're a lost cause (there they go judging again!) you're off the radar. Reminds me of a used car salesman who realizes you really are just browsing and have no money to buy a car. The moment he gets that you really aren't going to respond, he's off to someone else.
Of course, this is all the once-visit-to-the-dark-side-a-year to a DF person. Kairos, sounds like either this guy really thinks you'll come back or they're testing you to trip you up because they know you're gone and want to get you off the books. Must be a C.O. visit coming up...