I lost my family today.

by awakenyr2004 39 Replies latest jw friends

  • awakenyr2004

    So far my oldest niece and oldest sister cut me off. I'm waiting for the goodbye texts from my other siblings. My parents asured me they would never cut me off. But I can count on my self righteous brothers to give my parents hard time about it. My mom agreed but said she doesn't care they'll never understand because they dont have children of their own.

    It's a long story but I got mad at my jealous, petty, envious, christian niece and told her she is in a cult. Right away she ran to my family and told them what I said. Mostly in my opinion she did it because she lives for drama. She was one person in my family I thought I was closest to. But I've been paying attention to her true colors lately. She was treating another niece of mine badly. She was jealous because I was spending time with her. So she started giving her a hard time telling her I am not good association. There is so much more to it but it is just too much. That's how the ball got rolling.

    I texted them all and told them I only meant that I am apostate by the myriam webster's definition. I don't picket assemblies and I don't speak badly of JWs. Not entirely true but whatever. But the word apostate is just too damn scary for them. I told them all I love them very deeply. I am here if they ever need anything or if they change their minds. We don't have to talk about our views on religion and god. And I just pleaded with them to please let me know if anything happens to our parents and to not deny me the chance to say goodbye. My mom has heart problems and my dad is diabetic and not aging well.

    I'm dealing with it. I'm angry and sad but I have my little boy now and he is the most important person in my life now. It's bringing me comfort.

    I'm kind of shocked too. I never thought this would happen.

  • steve2

    That's so hard to bear - yet you will find a way through this and emerge even stronger. You could not live with yourself if you kept quiet and tolerated the rank hypocrisy of your fellow Witnesses, relatives especially. You are so right to focus on your son - he will love you to bits that you have "saved" him the misery of being raised in a religion that squashes normal human desires and needs.

  • awakenyr2004

    Thanks, Steve2. I'm partly suprised because we had this same discussion 10+ years ago. They didn't cut me off then. And they gave me a baby shower last fall even though me and my son's father live in sin.

  • humbled

    You will never have to "look over your shoulder" after this. There is a strain when you have to hold SO MUCH BACK. You will get through--but I do hope your mom and dad stick with you for everyone's sake.

    Take care.

  • gonzobear

    Take care. It's the hardest thing I've known when family choose their belief system over you. The anger will give way to something else in time, and you will be a stronger person for it. Try to remember how brave and strong you have had to be already to break free from this cult. It makes me sad and angry to know how many have to suffer this way, but you've broken the cycle for your little boy. Love him hard today.

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    Never stop loving ANY of them. That way YOU can have a clear conscience and hold your head up high when their "spiritual paradise" is exposed to them. They need your love and sympathy more than they realise at the moment.

  • Crazyguy

    Maybe you can bring up Matt chapter 5 where jesus supposedly says to love everyone and even your enemies and that not greeting a person is like being a tax collector. Show them that Jesus never said to shunn anyone and that they are apostates of Jesus.

  • BluesBrother

    Did you ever hear it said of others that "They lost their family when they came into The Truth?".....Well in many peoples cases on here the lost their family when they came to the truth about The Truth.

    What else can you do? One cannot unlearn what you now know. You know that it is all a sham , you could not go back and pretend... It is a tragedy when families are seperated but it is a tragedy of their own making, it is their choice , not yours . Hold up your head and be thankful that you are true to real truth..

    All sympathies though

  • awakenyr2004

    Thank you, everyone for your kind support. I tried to reason with my mom. She wanted me to write down all my thoughts and share with my siblings. Or, go and talk to the elders. Ha! What a joke! There is no point argueing with her or any of them. They are ignorant. When your 48 year old sister proudly states on fb that her favorite book is Island of the Blue Dolphins well, how can you expect her to understand. Not that it was a bad book but it was probably only one of a few (few i mean 3 if that) "worldly" books she's ever read.

    My sister sent me this long text message and tried to defend some of their doctrine/misdeeds. All this was based on the things I told my mom. I didn't argue but she actually said: "You don't have to call the branch you can talk to the elders here" I told my mom I've researched, read the wt literature, called the branch a few times to confirm info about some things. So now the elders know more than the FDS? Huh? Is that more "new light"?

    Seriously, shaking my damn head over that one. All I can gather from that comment is she is afraid of truth herself. She'd rather live in the dark/denial than learn the truth.

  • OnTheWayOut

    So sorry to read of your troubles.

    I'm angry and sad but I have my little boy now and he is the most important person in my life now. It's bringing me comfort.

    I don't have kids in or out of the cult, but I know that I would, if necessary, sacrifice my contact with all family members by their choice to shun if that meant keeping my own child out of that nonsense. Good for you. Strength to you in this. Enjoy your son, hope the best for the remaining family,

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