I'm out- Random thoughts on leaving as I look in the rear view mirror
It is amazing to look back at three years and see the journey that we have taken. I went from being an Elder to fading completely in the course of those three years. Along the way I am happy to say that my lovely wife woke up and realized that the “truth” is nothing but a lie. We abruptly stopped attending meetings this last January. I thought it would be hard to just leave but honestly none of our friends called, emailed or texted to see why we were missing. We did receive a visit from the elders a few months after we stopped where we politely told them that when we wanted to talk we would call them. Silence and halfway shunning has resulted from long time so called friends. These are the same people that will go to all ends to talk to someone who doesn’t share their faith in the hope of convincing them to join. I find it incredibly ironic.
What also amazes and hurts me is to realize that all of the people that I cared for deeply really couldn’t care less about us. This is shown by the zero calls or emails that we have gotten. That’s a good thing I guess. The rumor mill has started apparently. We are now “apostates”, and I am branded as forbidding my family from attending the meetings. None of this is true but if people want to believe something without proof or evidence it is entirely their prerogative. Witnesses look for the worst in people, and when it isn’t there, they make it up.
As a family we are happier than we have ever been. My wife has done a great job of making new friends, and has started a business that is creative and interesting. I have a great career and have recently returned to college to finish my degree. We have joined some community groups and are spending more time volunteering at our daughters school, as well as supporting charitable organizations. Our kids are happier now that we aren’t witnesses also.
We have become less judgmental and are enjoying getting to know people for who they are, not what they claim to be. It is so nice to drop the phobia of how worldly people will corrupt you. During this time we have heard about witnesses who have had their marriages implode, witnesses who have hooked up with others, and other crazy things. The entire religion creates terrible actors, as witnesses try to pretend to be something that they aren’t and frankly don’t want to be just for the sake of appearances. It is all fake and these fake people are the ones who look down their nose at those of us who have quit. Upon reflection it is incredibly sad to see 7+million who are frantically trying to keep up appearances to impress their phony brotherhood.
If you are thinking about leaving I would encourage you to do so. Leaving the organization will give you true freedom. It is painful but worth it.
Thanks for sharing your experience and reflections. Congrats on getting out along with your wife and kids!
Skinnedsheep wrote: Witnesses look for the worst in people, and when it isn’t there, they make it up.
That's so true. And especially tragic when it comes from a close family member.
Great story SkinnedSheep.. thank you for sharing.
Witnesses look for the worst in people, and when it isn’t there, they make it up.
This is so true.. I heard all sorts about myself when I left.. I heard I was on drugs, that I was in countries I had never been in, that I was in jail, that I was an apostate, and even that I was dead! Man I even heard some of these things when I was doing special pioneering hours!! The levels of malicious gossip among this unhealthy stagnant group is nothing short of toxic.
So happy that you and your family are doing well and living full and productive and real lives. There's nothing like it.
Hey congrats on taking control of your life.
The entire religion creates terrible actors, as witnesses try to pretend to be something that they aren’t and frankly don’t want to be just for the sake of appearances. It is all fake and these fake people are the ones who look down their nose at those of us who have quit. Upon reflection it is incredibly sad to see 7+million who are frantically trying to keep up appearances to impress their phony brotherhood.
You're right as far back as I can recall my life as dub always felt artificial and put on, you can never be yourself because they force you to give up being an individual. I think the main reason that many put up with it for long is because these is always the paradise carrot on a stick in front of you. When you really stop and think about it though, how could it possibly be a paradise without freedom?
What a magnificent post. Thanks for sharing.
May you live long, and happily.
When you're ready for the rocking chair days, may you feel old and satisfied.
@BerryGerry I hope to be old and satisfied in a rocking chair!
Great post, great thoughts. I won't say that leaving is easy and simply like pulling a bandage off to get past the pain. NO, there are serious problems and shunning and all. In some cases, fading works. In many, it doesn't work or is just not an option.
But true healing cannot even start until people get themselves out.
It's great that you got your wife out, and your kids are happier. If anyone is reading the post and has kids still at the Kingdom Hall, do what you have to to get them out of there.
Phony brotherhood is spot on, they act like your friends until you miss meetings or they move to another congregation then they drop you like the plaque. What a joke of a religion, glad you wife woke up...
Great story, I can relate to everything you said because it is very simular to ours. Isn't it amazing that they drive around for hours trying to find someone to talk to yet they can't check up on their own because they can't count the time. I have always had a problem With this. It sure doesn't promote brotherly love.
It is great you got your wife and children out with you, your children will thank you someday for freeing them of this so called religion. I was able to get my husband out too and our life is so much happier. We faded 2 years ago but a week ago I sent in my DA letter because I needed to have closure and tell them exactly how I felt about them because I did not want my name tied to them.
I am so happy for you SkinnedSheep. You and your wife together will give your children a wonderful life.