I'm out- Random thoughts on leaving as I look in the rear view mirror

by Skinnedsheep 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • jgnat

    Bravo! I love success stories, especially if you take your loved-ones with you.

  • Giordano

    My wife and I left in the mid 1960's. It took a couple of years to figure out that the JW's didn't have the truth. With jwfacts.com I could have got there in a week or two!

    What did it feel like to be a JW..........it felt like I was always playing on a losing team!

    By the way volunteering is a great way to make good friends. It's takes quality people to donate their time and skills to help their community.

  • ShirleyW

    Giordano - Funny you just mentioned volunteering, after years of thinking and thinking about it I finally contacted and met with the Volunteer Coordinator at a local hospital here and submitted my paperwork and I'm just waiting to hear from them. I can hardly wait to start !!

    Even if I don't get accepted at the hospital, my attorney is on the Board of Directors at a facility for Seniors and told me to consider applying there and he would recommend me, always much better to do something productive.

  • KateWild

    I didn't leave as long ago as you did and building a new life has been more challenging for me that it is for you.

    I left in Nov 2013 this is almost a year ago. A lot of bad stuff has happened since then with my ex who is a JW in good standing and my kids. I have tried to get involved in different activities, get a job and volunteer. But it's tough, friends are not the same level as deep rooted friendships you have over years. Family loss is crippiling and nothing can replace them.

    Being Df'd and divorced is only one way to learn TTATT, I was unwanted and thrown aside. All the well meaning advice I got to start with was encouraging and I set out to follow it.

    I am still left feeling somewhat isolated. I have met someone from my dating, but things are developing slowly as we both have baggage. I don't know how things will develop in the future for me alone or with someone, but it's a struggle getting there. I am volunteering with the CAB (Citizens Advice Bureaux) which provides some human contact, but does not really provide relief to the isolation. I feel very vulnerable and isolated at work. Some of the problems I see are so trivial compared to what I am dealing with, I am crying inside at work. But at least I have human contact.

    I have moved on in some aspects in my life, but in other aspects I am suffering extreme hardship and still feel like I am being abused as I can't get away from my ex completely if I want to have contact with my son.

    I feel like I am the only one having difficulties. It seems there are plenty of posters happy in their new lives. This is not so for me. Building a new life is more challenging than I expected.

    Kate xx

  • ThomasCovenant

    I agree pretty much with everything you've observed.

    My advice too is,

    Just stop going.

    No one, apart from maybe immediate family, will be bothered in the slightest, that after a lifetime of attending, you decide to stop.

    Then you try and get on with the remainder of your life.

    I believe that if more people did that, then more would follow.

  • steve2

    ThomasCovenant, you identified one of the most difficult issues when deciding what to do in terms of attending meetings:

    When family are still in, it complicates decisions - I wouldn't say it literally stops you from making a decision - it complicates it.

    When this is the case, a more considered approach is advisable. Once the cat is out of the bag.....

    But, hey, each to their own. I have only ever walked in my shoes.

  • JWdaughter

    This all takes time-and I am glad that after 3 years you see how good it is and how sweet life can be. I hope that KateWild soon gets a taste of the sweet! I am so glad that your life is positive and satisfying. You offer hope to others who are going through the rough spots. After a certain time, life becomes what it can be, rather than just fixing up your regretful choices. You look like you have reached the profitable part of things (initial start up costs are often killers for folks!)

  • Separation of Powers
    Separation of Powers

    Wow...sounds like we are from the same congregation...

  • DisArmed

    Skinnedsheep, it does my heart good to hear about anyone freeing themselves from that crazy world. Out of curiosity last night I read about the "overlapping generation" thing on JWfacts. I just laughed and wondered how anyone could swallow that bullsh*t. Congratulations to you!

  • joe134cd

    This is a thread that i started that express your same sentiments. Trust me after a while you will feel blessed at their lack of concern. I have said this many times and will say it again. It just amazes me at an organization that is prepared to spend billions of dollars and hours, walking aimlessly around getting sworn at and abused to find a new convert and yet will do relatively nothing to retain him. I remember been told this by a sales person. It takes 10× the effort and expense to find a new customer than what it dose to keep an existing one happy. Wt could learn from this because not only is an unhappy customer not coming back he will also tell all his friends the bad experience he had.

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