I'm meeting with my congregation Elders Today HELP PLEASE

by LennaB 103 Replies latest watchtower bible

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  Strangelove

  Lenna, I am not going to try and tell you what to do, or what you should do. Because not only is that not my responsibility, but it is our own to choose where we go from here.

  I am currently 19, and stopped going back in May 2014. (Will not look back)

  It's never going to be an easy situation, but yes, there is some light to it. (Not that I like using that analogy. Light has a bad taste in my mouth)

  I was raised in it from my inception. It was my whole life. Everything, my future was built for me. When I was 16, I doubted the existance of God. It was a feeling that left me feeling empty and afraid. Mostly of dying. So I read the Bible in it's entirety. Took 4 years. And it left me feeling less faith than ever before. I simply could not agree with all the teachings present. And yes, I was and am still scared. I am not sure if that ever goes away. But the feeling is more numb with time.

  Mind conditioning at this early of an age, it will leave effects, and scars. It's worse when many of your friends were only their if you shared the same belief. While this is a disadvantage, and as many have already pointed out, there is a way to turn your pain into triumph. I've thought of self termination a few too many times, asking what the point of it all is, but I hold out because I know there is something to live for. I've been searching and making my own mind over. Being a critical thinker and enjoying life the best I can.

  It sounds selfish when you're still in, but believe it or not, you can help yourself. You can stand on your own despite the efforts of the Governing Body's attempts to remind you that you're nothing without them. (Think about that, they need you and millions of others to function. You do not need them to function. You can do this.)

  There is no crime in doing something nice for yourself. (I myself find it hard to do sometimes, but it's necessary sometimes)

  You've made a decision in your best interest. I wish you clean mental health.

  And if there is one thing I extend to you besides an air hug, it is to believe in yourself. (Sounds cheesy, but it hasn't stuck around this long to not have any meaning)

  Remember all the good times you had while not in field service or at a meeting. They are still there.

  Your Journey begins now.
• 

  Daniel1555

  Dear Lenna

  You will have a wonderful life ahead of you.

  Love, compassion and respect for other, caring and helping in smaller and bigger things can bring real meaning to your life.

  As to the question about if there is a god. Pray to your creator, even though you don't know who he is. After studying and meditating about old testament accounts of Jehovah ordering genocide and mass killings of children even babies (for example Numb.31) it is clear to me that this is just the tribal god of old Israel and NOT the true creator.

  After doing research about the blood doctrine, shunning of df even among family it is clear to me that JWs are NOT the true religion (I doubt that there is a true religion.

  I believe in a loving father / creator who wants individual persons to be free and enjoy a life of love, compassion and joy.

  There are good times ahead of you. Don't let JWs make you feel guilty and bad. They might be individually loving and kind people but the organisation and its teachings CAN NOT be guided by the true god.

  I wish you and your husband all the best from my heart.
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  crazyhorse

  Hugs to you LennaB. As one commenter said, don't make hasty decisions at this point. Relax and think freely about your past , present and future and decide, based on what you have learnt the choice you want to make. But don't let it put too much stress on you.

  The GB is always making people feel guilty for not doing everything they say.
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  likeabird

  This is an open question to the people who were raised/spent five plus years in the truth, what happened? what were your experinces when you first found out?

  I was raised in it. When I first found out I felt three things :

  1. Incredible deception/stupidity

  2. Intense anger

  3. Immense liberation

  That's the short version ;-)

  Any length of deception is difficult to get through be it one year, five years or thirty. If you need support or to share experiences, this is the place to be.