It has been about 3 weeks since my last update.
Much has transpired in the interim.
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Jordan and I have kept in touch.
He texts me telling me how he's feeling and what is going through his mind.
I listen. I suggest links to this and that.
We share a strong bond. He trusts me and I'm doubly conscientious in not trying to sway him.
He must do the work and follow his conscience where it will lead.
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Not long ago he said something which floored me. He's been reading things online. His appetite for information
grew ravenous apparently. He said to me I was some kind of 'celebrity' to him!
What?
He told me he looks at the life I had as a JW and the things I went through trying to 'please Jehovah' and follow the Organization even
when it made little sense (out of blind loyalty) and the resulting damage to my life--and my struggle has an authenticity to it which
has struck a chord in him.
I had to squirm at that. I'm not comfortable being anybody's cardboard hero.
Now my sense of personal responsibility was doubled and heightened for certain!
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Suddenly, a fire ignited inside him and his curiosity soared!
I'd compare it to daylight breaking through a long, dark storm.
He was researching on his own all over the internet!
His strong intellectual nature pounced and he became alive to the BIG PICTURE.
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One day, we spoke for the better part of three hours on the phone.
He's been cautiously asking JW's whom he trusts penetrating questions.
He's able to do this because of the precarious position he's in. He's DF'd trying to get REINSTATED, therefore,
JW's expect a certain amount of grappling with ideas to go on! It is normal to question things at that juncture.
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As we all know, once you 'wake up,' your mind is on fire.
Jordan's sure is!
He has been listening to the link I sent to CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE while he is at work every day!
He quickly figured out Ray Franz was a real person and not a boogeyman. He listened and became enlightened.
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Finally, the Elders--after putting him off while they went about their day to day personal business--finally told him he was
scheduled for reinstatement. What rankled him was--if his eternal life was "on the line" while in a DF'd state--why had the Elders
been so foot-dragging about it?
Secondly, even though they had reinstated him--he was forbidden from commenting at meetings UNTIL it was announced.
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This young man is an entirely different person from the one who sat at that table in Starbucks debating with a co-worker about
the Trinity, the 'torture stake, and Apostates!
He finally told me, now he KNOWS how it goes.
He will slowly fade from the moment of reinstatement.
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I did an intervention at one point--not knowing if I should.
He immediately wanted to begin working on his Mom and his girlfriend trying to pry loose their minds from the clutches of delusion.
I tried to slow him down by telling him--
"Jordan, when does an Alcoholic stop drinking? It isn't when loved ones TELL them to do so. It is when there is NO OTHER way to continue in life excdept to do so. You have to be READY to change--on your own--by your own decision!"
He stopped, considered and understood immediately.
I also explained, "When you open people's eyes up to the betrayal of trust you HARM THEM by taking away their safety net and destroy
their WORLD! You inflict a wound! What are you prepared to REPLACE that with? Are you going to tell them to go to a Baptist Church, or become an atheist? You see, they have to SEE THE NEED TO GET OUT as survival of sanity. That's the only way which works."
I dunno. I overstepped my boundary inside my own head, but I really felt I was giving good advice.
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Jordan and I remain bonded in an extraordinary closeness of affection.
I may have rescued myself by simply saying the right thing at the right moment.
It was an extraordinary struggle inside when I suddenly stood up and walked over and butted in--but, all in all,
I couldn't help myself and hold back. I just couldn't.
Let me say to any of you who face a similar moment of decision: GO WITH HOW YOU FEEL and speak the truth about the 'truth'
when the opportunity presents itself. You'll feel awkward, emotional, stressed and unprepared.
But SINCERITY communicates more than you know.
I think most people can tell the difference between sabotage and intervention!
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