Seriously considering stepping down as Elder

by fader77 65 Replies latest jw experiences

  • leaving_quietly

    Recently I went back to school for my Masters degree and I'm almost done.

    Wait... what??? How are you actually still being ALLOWED to serve as an elder? This is a HUGE no-no.

    Seriously, though, good for you. I stepped down a couple of years ago after starting to learn TTATT. There were several reasons. One of them was James 3:1: "Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, knowing that we will receive heavier judgment."

    I could no longer, in good conscience, teach this stuff from the platform.

  • Vidiot

    Crazyguy - "Why do they hate you and your family so much?"

    Despite their description, authoritarian followers despise what they consider to be "illegitimate" authority figures (it's partly why the Right hates Obama so much).

    If fader77's congregation doesn't like him, that's probably the reason.

  • zed is dead
    zed is dead


    If you really want to help with information, copy all your notes from your "Flock" book, or photocopy it with the notes before you step down. It would be invaluable!


  • alanv

    I stepped down from being a mini servant because I could see the next step would be for me to become an elder and like fader I just knew there was so much wrong in the org. In time I was able to fade and so was able to keep in touch with my JW family members. Best decision I ever made.

  • problemaddict

    Fader, turn your weaknesses into strengths. You actually have an opportunity to step down (or up as Focus reminds us), without consequence.

    How do I mean? Well it appears the body doesn't want you serving anyways. So give them what they want. Let them know fairly uncerimoniously, that you would like to step down for personal reasons. When the questions start, you can assure them its personal and that if you need spiritual refreshment you can get with them and blah blah blah.

    If they really push, or the CO gets involved, then stick to the personal issues thing. Ask to be "respected", and if it really comes up, say that you can't serve with men you don't deep down trust anyways for the sake of unity on the body.

    TRUST - is a buzzword for the CO's. You have to serve with TRUST. If you don't have it, don't serve.

    Don't sell your wife short. Plan how to bring things up. DO NOT just burn it all down or assume other peoples reactions. Its the classic mistake people make. They push people away in anticipation of wht they know their reaction is going to be. While most of the time we are right, we can also be guilty of doing that premptively. So its important to at least give people the opportunity to react or chose properly. Most of all your wife.

    My wife is a third gen, pioneer since she was 12, groomed to be a gilead grad, daughter of a legacy family who still assists in high level things like media coverage for foreign branches. A few CO's in the fam, etc... Yet she is about 80% out, and getting further along every day. I love my friends, and many of them will never feel the way that I do, but I don't care. Until they stop acting like friends, I will give them the benefot of the doubt. This approach has helped me maintain friendships I wouldn't have thought I could.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Fader: "I'm to the point now that I can't stand the hatred and bitterness that the body of elders has towards myself and my whole family."

    That sounds like a great reason to step down. Otherwise, as was my case, they seized on the slightest reason and removed me. Things got interesting since I had plenty against them and wasn't "confidential" about it.

    It sounds like you've got your career in order. That's a very good thing. If it came to it, could your wife support herself?

    And regarding your marriage, my advice would be that if you decide that your marriage isn't worth saving, don't rush into a new relationship. Give yourself some time to adjust to freedom from the cult and find the real you. Then you will be in a better position to understand what you want from the next.

  • JW GoneBad
    JW GoneBad

    Welcome to the forum fader77.

    I feel for you and what you're having to deal with.

    I wish you the best and look forward to more of your input on other topics as well.

  • fader77

    Much to think about here. As for the question about my masters. Well I got my bachelors back in the late 1990's when it was sorta ok still. I have a professional license, and when one elder asked me why I was going for a masters I told him it helps satisfy my continuing ed requirements. I told him that I wanted to get my masters anyways, but it was just another good reason to. Oh the elders and others make snide comments about my education, but nothing has been done about it. They just pick on the petty insignificant things to plague our family with. I plan on finishing my doctorate as well. I need to make up for lost time in my career so that I can actually retire without having to do janitorial or something in my old age.

  • Watchtower-Free

    Just Google "Crisis of Conscience" PDF

    It will be the top result . Very easy

  • frankiespeakin

    . I am now to the point I am seriously considering stepping down. Hell part of me wanted to announce myself as no longer one of JW when I had my service meeting part tonight lol. I wonder if anyone has ever announced themself lol..

    Well if you ever do decide to announce it yourself from the platform durring one of your talks, think of doing it this way:

    Now brothers I want you to imagine this with your eyes closed: A salesman knocks on your door trying to sell you something, and he gives you all kinds of reasons why you must have this product, and as he keeps talking about the product he hooks you like a fish and you buy it. But as he leaves a little warning bell goes off in your head and you have had time to reflect on what just happened and your doubts force you to look up information on the internet, and to your horror you find out you have been duped by a fast talking salesman who played you like a record.

    Well the same thing happened to me namely I went on the internet and found out we all have been duped by the Watchtower Corporation into giving our time and money to them, and now they have huge child molestation lawsuits to pay out and so I wish to stop them from taking any more advantage of me so I will no longer be giving them my time or money starting today.

    Any longer than that and you might be over taken by a bunch of angry elder rushing to the platform to silence you.

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