The hardship of being a gay Jehovahs witness.

by truthwillsetyoufree 60 Replies latest jw experiences

  • eyeuse2badub
    eyeuse2badub

    The hardship of being a 'STRAIGHT' jehovah's witness is pretty gut wrentching too.

    just saying!

    eyeuse2badub

  • Trapped in JW land
    Trapped in JW land

    Sending hugs my friend. I can definetely relate.

  • skeeter1
    skeeter1

    I am so sorry you went through this. I know gay people, and they said they "knew it" in childhood/adolesence. They were just attracted to a teacher/adult/older sibling of the same sex, the same way heterosexual kids had crushes on the opposite sex. Now, a good playment of mine from elementary school is openly gay. I've met her and her girlfriend when they were in town. Another gay friend of mine just got married. My spouse & kids all went to their wedding. We just adore these other two ladies. There's so much wrong in the world, I don't see the deal with denying two homosexual adults the right to marry to cut down on legal bills.

    *****

    What did Jesus have to say about homosexuality?

    Ann Naffziger Answers:

    (CNS photo courtesy Catholic Communication Campaign)

    If you were to read all four gospels thoroughly in search of Jesus’ teachings on homosexuality it would be a futile endeavor. Not only would you come to the end of the gospels without finding anything attributed to Jesus on the subject, you wouldn’t even find a single reference to the issue in any context.

    In fact, there are only a handful of references to homosexuality in the entire Bible, but they are found in the Old Testament and Paul’s writings. (To put it in perspective, while there are only seven references to homosexuality, there are hundreds, perhaps thousands, of references to economic justice and the laws governing the accumulation and distribution of wealth.)

    Jesus’ silence on the subject suggests that an issue which can be controversial and/or fraught with emotion these days was simply not a central issue in his lifetime 2,000 years ago in the land of Palestine. The fact that he didn’t address this issue leaves us all to ponder what he might say were he here today.

  • Iown Mylife
    Iown Mylife

    Hamsterbait is so right, the elders sure do put their priorities in the right place - they can't DARE inform parents of pedophiles in the congregation because they have to protect the pedo's reputation - but they can spew crap about a young man who has not hurt anyone.

    They do not bother to inform themselves of the true nature of pedophilia. The main thing to realize about pedophiles is that they do NOT EVER change, they will keep molesting children at every opportunity.

    They also do not bother to inform themselves about the nature of a gay person. A man or woman who wishes to find a loved one with whom to build a life. Like people who are not gay. As Gore Vidal said, the difference between a gay person and a straight person is the difference between a person who has blue eyes and a person who has brown eyes.

    Marina

  • Quendi
    Quendi

    To put it simply and bluntly: THERE IS NO PLACE FOR LGBT PEOPLE among Jehovah's Witnesses. Being an LGBT Witness is an oxymoron, a contradiction in terms. I've known some celibate gay men among Jehovah's Witnesses--for that matter I was one myself. But these men are invariably unhappy if they have the honesty to admit it. As the OP states, you live a colorless, celibate and hopeless life. You cannot have what straight Witnesses can take for granted. Furthermore, you have to read and hear constant and unrelenting condemnation of your true nature from Witnerss literature and speakers' platforms. Additionally, the WTS promotes all kinds of falsehoods about the reality of being LGBT, the most pernicious of which is that full-time service, prayer and marriage can all "cure" us. And as the OP also states, we are told to wait until the new system when our nature will be purged and a completely foreign and unwanted one is given to us in its place.

    In my case, the situation was exacerbated by something I never ever expected: I fell in love. The man I loved was a married man in my congregation and, to further emphasize how hopelessly tangled our situation was, he was also gay and loved me as well. The strident homophobia of the WTS put us in a position many find themselves in: a state of denial and self-hatred. So I didn't admit my sexuality to myself and did not share it with the man I was in love with. He did likewise and it wasn't until his suicide occurred that I was able to unravel his secret. Eventually, I made friends with celibate Witnesses who formed a small support system I needed but even that wasn't enough. I finally grew tired of living a lie and was disfellowshipped. That brought me to my senses and I resolved to stay out. Yet as bad as my situation was, those who are born-in have it much worse. The OP poignantly describes how bleak that kind of life is.

    I am grateful that even though there is no chance the WTS will ever change its stance on LGBT issues, there is hope for many of us. The changing social mores in different countries is making the way out of the cult easier. There are all kinds of support systems now for LGBT people of all ethnicities and ages. We are finally emerging from our foxholes because in many places the shooting has finally stopped. We are becoming active in our communities and making positive contributions. I never thought I would see the day. I am also very gratified to see the support that truthwillsetyoufree has received here and I hope that others who are still lurking will be encouraged to follow his example.

    Quendi

  • Rebecca 619
    Rebecca 619

    hello gma-tired2 -just want to say thanks for your kind words when i needed it, when we were going through difficult time , will always be thankful.

  • granada35
    granada35

    Since i have posted before a little bit about my story of growing up as a gay jw man, I will try to be brief. Also, since I have recently come out in the last two years and almost at the end of a fade from this organization, I will try to be as rational as possible.

    As has already been discussed by others, this organization has taught me several things in my life (I am almost 40 years old and have been in several English and Spanish congregations throughout the years in the greater Los Angeles area):

    1. A gay person in this organization will never have any option to find true love

    2. A gay person will constantly be told how bad and evil he is ...

    3. He will never truly be accepted as a part of the congreation (unless he stays in the closet and is force to "hide" his true identity).

    4. Once you confess to the elders about your feelings, they WILL worn other men about you and no one will ever want to socialize with you..

    (for 35 years had many "friends" but once I confessed to the elders that i was a gay man, within weeks my "friends" distanced themselves...

    5. Due to the low level of education of many elders, you will be given useless advice such as to be more teocratic or to marry a nice sister.

    Therefore, a gay person can either stay in this organization and see his whole life pass away as he "waits for the new system for help" or GET OUT and starting living HIS LIFE! Case in point: Of all the things that i am currently struggling with is having no experience on how to date a person (something that one should have learned in his teenage years...makes me sad sometimes) but I guess it's never to late to learn.

    In conclusion, my friend, (and any other person reading this and still going to meetings) understand all the cards on the table if you are a LGBT member of this organization. True, No one can tell you to stay or leave...but as they say.... everything has a price!

    PS--hey Quendi...sent you a pm awhile back....hope everything is O.K.

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    The whole of Christi-SCAM-ity is homophobic. This comes directly from the beady-eyed monster joke-hova itself, as evidenced throughout the LIE-ble. The laws of Leviticus proscribe homosexuality. Why, joke-hova hates us so much that that thing destroyed two thriving cities simply because there was homosexual practice. Now, had this been exclusively homosexual, why would joke-hova have to do anything? If there was never anything but homosexuality, no babies would be born, and the nation would perish from that. But, as long as there is at least some reproductive sex going on, the nations can survive--or, could it be that joke-hova is against pleasure enough to create hang-ups?

    That scumbag that supposedly wrote much of the new testament was also homophobic (besides being a male chauvinist pig). That lowdown thing wrote several scriptures proscribing homosexuality, threatening people that practice it with damnation (in the old testament, joke-hova had gay people stoned to death). Of note, homosexuality is prohibited, under death threats, in most communist countries--see the connection between Christi-SCAM-ity and communism there?

    What makes the jokehovians worse is that they enforce this rule. This is like having a 55 speed limit that is not enforced, though a few idiots still do 55 and scorn those who do 75 (usually a safe speed, which the highway was designed for) compared to most churches. They do threaten a ticket (damnation), but action is rarely taken. The jokehovians, on the other hand, is like that speed limit strictly enforced. You see people doing 56 on that section and getting high fines and jail time. Action is taken, aggressively, if people are caught doing homosexuality. For those who have this condition (which is no different in most cases than left-handedness), it is as natural to be attracted to the same sex as for most drivers to do 75 on a highway designed for 75. Limiting them to 55 is not fair, and usually results in the lead foot syndrome (most drivers would not speed if the limit was 200). And likewise, it is not fair for naturally gay people (not those who are gay because of lack of opportunity or church hang-up, but those who are naturally gay) to be persecuted for it.

  • Fernando
    Fernando

    Welcome truthwillsetyoufree!

    Congratulations on being free of this destructive cult and its apostate moralism and apostate legalism.

    Here on JWN you're among friends who care and understand.

    I pray for you to find greater peace and stability as well as a good life partner.

    Anyone interested in an alternative (gay friendly) scriptural perspective may be interested in:

    http://biblehouseofgrace.com/same%20sex%20relationships.html

    Best wishes on your journey and your stay here on JWN.

    Greetings

    Fernando

  • Quendi
    Quendi

    Hello granada35,

    I replied to your pm back on 24 June, but you may have overlooked it. I will send you another pm and we can take it from there.

    Quendi

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