You don't seem to be as happy anymore!?

by stuckinarut2 32 Replies latest jw experiences

  • LisaRose
    LisaRose

    That's too bad, it's not good to live like that. I don't know your circumstances, but I have found that living a life where you cannot express your true feelings is very difficult, it takes a toll on you emotionally, mentally and physically. It's also hard to maintain the fiction that you are a happy and dedicated JW, the truth starts to come out in ways you don't expect. Whatever you reasons for staying, you have to allow for the possibility that it is going to be difficult to do this long term. You have to balance the loss of friends and family against the cost to you of living a lie. You might want to do some planning and preparation, just in case it becomes impossible to keep up the fiction.

    There is no question that it's difficult to go through being disfellowshipped or a dissociation, but it can also be a great relief, and there are many benefits to living life on your own terms.

  • Mum
    Mum

    I agree with those who tell you that it is in your best interest to cut loose. It's one of the hardest things I ever did, but the most rewarding thing I ever did. I've been where you are - depressed and hopeless. If you need help to get away, PM me. Can you get a job in another part of the country and just leave? That's what I did, with the help of a cousin.

    Just do it!

  • Oubliette
    Oubliette

    Stuck, I have been told by some in the cong that I don't seem to be as happy anymore..."what's wrong?"

    They are on to something.

    It's impossible to be happy pretending to be something you're not.

  • NAVYTOWN
    NAVYTOWN

    You could try saying this in response to their questioning: 'I have noticed the exact same thing in this congregation. The joyfulness that used to be here seems to have died out. The old enthusiasm is gone. People seem to just be going through the motions. It's very evident. Why do you think that is??' So that puts it right back on them. Might get them thinking. Try it.

  • LoisLane looking for Superman
    LoisLane looking for Superman

    StuckInARut2... It is a huge disconnect when one realizes TTATT. (The truth about the Truthâ„¢).

    It is like truly loving and sacrificing for someone for decades and then finding out they never really loved you at all. It was all a lie.

    It is devastating.

    Is it possible for you to step down from being a MS?

    Is it possible to take a pass on giving talks in the MS?

    Is it possible to do some fun things on the weekend and not do service or meetings?

    Is it possible to come home from week during the week, take a shower to relax, put some jeans and a T shirt on and not go to the KHall?

    Is it possible to start doing things that will give you pleasure and happiness now?

    LL

  • Dismissing servant
    Dismissing servant

    I agree with Lois Lane......make some small changes now. Take some time for a new activity or a hobby. Go for a vacation without going to meetings. Report less field service play the depression card for stepping down. But most important bring some new into your life, something you really like.

  • Ignoranceisbliss
    Ignoranceisbliss

    Stuckinarut

    It sounds like we r in much the same situation. The first thing I need to do is step down as a servant. That's actually a pretty difficult thing to do without raising any red flags. I've heard of plenty of elders stepping down to allow for more time with their families. But being an ms really doesn't require that much time to allow for that excuse. Do you have any ideas on how to make that first step. I really can't imagine totally cutting out the Borg at this time Everyone in my life that matters to me is inside.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    I got that alot before I faded. I wrote about it in an earlier thread.

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/256052/1/exJW-Psychology-104-One-Way-to-Play-the-Depression-Card#.U6dckbHDt8E

    Before the fade, I was noticably depressed and withdrawn. After the fade, I'm much more cheerful... not that I'm around many JWs anymore for them to appreciate the fact.

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    Listen to your heart

  • stuckinarut2
    stuckinarut2

    Great suggestions and responses everyone!

    Thank you sincerely!

    I have now got several ideas in mind based on the above suggestions.... I will keep everyone updated.

    Thanks again for your input and help.

    SIAR2

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