Your Experience with Resigning as an Elder

by committeechairman 69 Replies latest jw experiences

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  undercover

  Never was an elder, and I didn't have to resign as MS, got the boot, which was fine with me at the time...

  ...But a friend (at the time) stepped down for some of the same reasons you list. And when he got blowback from the rest of elders, he stood up to them and said that his family came first and foremost, and it was his duty as head of the house to make sure he presided over them in a fine manner. He knew that he could not carry the burden and didn't really care what they thought or did, he was doing what he had to do to manage his sanity, his health, and serve his family. I always respected him for that. To not only stand up to the peer pressure but to know your limit and when to say, 'it's time to pull back and focus on what's really important' instead of trying to juggle everything the WTS throws at elders.
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  cantleave

  My resignation is pretty much diaried on this forum. There was more anxiety thinking about how and when I should do it, than when I actually did. The weight off my shoulders the day I resigned was noticable straight away.
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  committeechairman

  FullTimeStudent:

  That is a great suggestion. My friends that have resigned did so in one fell swoop, not in a gradual manner you suggest.
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  committeechairman

  Undercover:

  What you mention last about "juggling everything the WTS throws at the elders" is right. You should see the sheer number of things just in the congregation we are expected to do (no one gets them done) and additional items to "serve kingdom interests" are just staggering. I think most elders would agree that the workload for an elder has jumped exponentially over the past ten years.

  One of the things about serving as an elder that can make it untenable is that we're supposed to do everything. So, if you serve as an elder, you still are supposed to do everything that publishers are supposed to do. You can have two private meetings after the meeting but you're expected to clean the KH. You can have 150 hours of district and RBC work to do outside the congregation, but you are expected to show up and "be visible" in the field ministry anyhow. etc etc. It is different from being willing to do menial tasks, you are expected to actually do all of that.

  But we don't. And it drives me crazy.
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  nowwhat?

  if i were you i would just lighen your load by 75%, citing health issues. learn to say no. we need elder insiders!
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  leaving_quietly

  Resigning as an elder is a minor thing. Depending on your BOE, it could be just as simple as saying, 'Brothers, I've given this a lot of prayerful consideration. My health isn't doing so well, and while I've been trying to do everything I'm supposed to, I'm finding that I just can't keep up. I realize that I could simply slow down, but after talking to other elders who have been in my situation, most have told me that slowing down doesn't really help much, and that after a month or so, things start picking up again. So, I've decided to resign as an elder. I've enjoyed serving with you brothers and look forward to our continued friendships in the future.'

  You only need to talk to two elders on the BOE. One won't cut it. I know.

  Oh, and don't offer to give them back the Shepherd book. If they ask for it, fine, but don't offer it.
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  cantleave

  Its funny they asked me for my book, but I still have the KH keys!
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  tornapart

  CC, my hubby is an elder and he 'stepped down' for a while, though we didn't know for how long. He got together with me to work out the letter together. He was like you and had become exhausted and our marriage was suffering too. We decided that it was in the best interests of our relationship that he had to do it. He used scriptures to show how marriage and family was important, that the jobs he had to do was taking away time we could spend together. How the wife and children come before the congregation. His resignation was accepted (with reluctance) but he was firm with his decision. Could you do the same? Sit down with your wife and discuss how you need to word it, if she can have some imput I'm sure it will have a good effect.

  All the best!!
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  goodsoul

  rely on Jehovah and continue as an elder- it's a privilege through his Holy Spirit and blessing from him, so He will will help you.

  It's his organisation- remember this.
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  finally awake

  I suppose the real issue is a lack of qualified men to do the work. Instead of spreading the load across many backs, it is heaped upon a few. In my opinion, the workload demanded of even the entry level publisher is enough to break a person who has any other responsibilities (like a job, family, home to care for).