BTW, when I resigned, I didn't write a letter. Just pulled the COBE aside and told him I was having health difficulties and needed to reliquish my privledges. He was okay with it, and things were quiet for a few weeks. We had the C.O. visit, and the COBE pulled me aside with another brother and explained that they needed to have two elders hear me out. I talked with them for all of two minutes. It was no big deal. I thought it would be harder than it actually was. Maybe that's because our BOE is made up of really good guys. Nobody has an agenda. I really enjoyed working alongside all of them. But, after I learned TTATT, I couldn't go on teaching from the platform.
Your Experience with Resigning as an Elder
by committeechairman 69 Replies latest jw experiences
-
-
xchange
I was in a congregation with very few elders. When I told the body that I was no longer capable of serving anymore, they simply took me at my word. I said that due to family considerations it would no longer be feasible to continue on serving. Of course they offered to lighten my load (it was a lot) or even take a small break, but they never tried to coerce me into staying on.
One month later, I was gone. It was always my intention to just fade away. Every body of elders will react differently. In my case, they saw how determined I was and let it go at that. They didn't treat me any differently nor did anyone else treat me adversely.
The best part of it, other than fading away, was not having to contend with congregational issues, maintaining the school, judicial committees etc etc and how much more free time I had. That part was by far the best feeling I had in many years.
-
Syme
It is my theory that privileges are a kind of dope. To paraphrase Marx, I would say that privileges are the opium of the j-dub.
In what way? If you have privileges, you are too committed to let yourself think doubtfully etc; moreover, the actual privileges that come with the office, the benefits, the recognition, the respect you gain, the power you have over other people, all these are very powerful opiates!
I was deleted as an elder, I did not ''step down''. For the first few weeks/months, I was determined to follow a reinstatement course. However, for the first time in years, I felt actually FREE, free to think and read and study and travel, things that I did not have the luxury for previously. (as an elder, a pioneer and an MTS graduate)
After some time, I accidentally came across the scientific evidence for evolution. Were I still an elder, I would not allow myself to indulge in that study. But since I did not have that chain over me, I dag deeper and discovered that up until that moment I was scientifically illiterate (as most poor jdubs are), even though I was a university graduate! A whole new beautiful world of wonder opened before my eyes.
Of course, the price was doubt and eventually, disbelief. However, I do not change knowledge, REAL knowledge of creation and its wonders for anything in this world, let alone for serving an organization in which the idea of spirituality is giving out leaflets advertizing a website!
-
Magnum
I agree with Comatose. I had responsibilities like yours. I know people wondered (and still do) about me. But I was treated the same. In fact, I still had others coming to me with problems, Bible & organizational questions, etc. I still had elders coming to me for help with parts, discussing problems with other elders, etc.
I think one thing is that I never acted weak or apologetic. To put it bluntly, I don't take much junk. They know me and my abilities. If you step aside, tell them you want to become more spiritual. Don't say it sheepishly as if you're weak. Do not say it apologetically. Say it strongly as if it's a well-thought-out decision.
And I agree with your two friends; it has been absolutely wonderful to not be in the grind.
If your heart is in the right place, you might have some moments of missing certain parts of it, but you won't miss it much. In fact, I realize that a large percentage of my time was purely wasted as an elder. For example, I could spend a lot of time just trying to get a certain talk to fit its alotted amount of time. That wasn't spiritual. I wasn't learning anything. A lot of my study time was just preparing parts - not learning and not really questioning and researching. A lot of it was just orchestrating interviews and all kinds of stuff like that that I feel was a total waste. I would ride two or three or hours out of time for a pre-circuit assembly or pre-district convention meeting only to get there and find out it was a waste of time.
Since you are getting older, use your time wisely. If Jah is who you think he is, he will understand you and appreciate you and you will be rewarded. Search for truth and humbly (& strongly) be willing to go where your search leads you. Study the Bible deeply. Consider different translations. Research the canon of scripture used by JWs and others. Consider why other books were not included, who determined the present canon and whether they can/should be trusted.
I actully feel nobler and stronger now. I know that my study and seeking now is genuine - not for glory. I want to find real answers - because I hate suffering and injustice, I love life, and I love the planet and am fascinated by the entire cosmos.
If there truly is a loving god, and if you are a strong person who loves justice and kindness and hates to see others suffer, and if you are willing to put forth effort, then I think that god will be pleased with you and you will fare well. If there is going to be a new world as JWs teach, and if you are as just described, I think you will be a prince in that new world. At that point, nobody will even remember who were elders in this world. Nobody will remember who gave district convention talks in 2014.
There is something wrong in JWdom right now. If you still believe in the JW way, then maybe you could view it as being like the times in Israel when there was much corruption and only a few noble, righteous souls. Finally, Jah performed cleansings. Maybe there's going to be a major cleansing among JWs.
So, step aside. Start engaging in real study, meditation, and prayer. Ask Jah to help you unbiasedly and open-mindedly find and see truth. Whether you realize it, you've actually been sort of kept in ignorance as a JW. JWs don't do real, in-depth study. Your time has been eaten up by busy work (probably intentionally by JWs).
Watch to see what's going to happen in the JW realm. It's interesting. Maybe future happenings, changes, etc. will help you to see more clearly where you stand and help you to sort out feelings.
-
Wasanelder Once
I was doing everything, I mean EVERYTHING, District Parts, sub CO, TMS School, Pioneer School you name it. But I was diabetic and was very ill, no joke. I pushed and pushed but almost did myself in. When I removed myself they fought it, mainly because they were lazy and didn't want to have to take up the slack. In our cong you did it till you died with your boots on. Not me. So when I did I actually had a publisher ask me if he could still talk to me? I almost said, "don't bother." Needless to say they were angry and not so understanding. Definitely self centered. The relief saved my life, I could concentrate on my health. I had pioneered for 9 years up to that point so it was a shock to everyone. A relief to me though. They never did treat me the same. It helped me to make the decision to get out of that emotionally abusive religion at last. Yeah! I don't look back.
-
disposable hero of hypocrisy
Do it. Your family will love you for it! Mine did. The stress was immediately noticeably lifted and my missus likes me far more now! The slack will be taken up and if you're treated any less as a brother as a result? That's their loss, and unchristian to boot.
-
problemaddict
Hello CC,
I don't know if there was much I can add. I was not an elder, but lets just say i was a high profile MS, with more responsability than usual, and essentially served as an elder and then some in a foreign assignment.
The idea that you are important and useful is an important one. You and many of us tied that in to our serving the congregation, which lets face it, was 90% dummy work on our part. How much REAL sheperding, REAL help was given? Not because it wasn't in our hearts, but because of what we thought it meant.
There is no way to maintain status and step down. people will immediately treat you different. It happens at all levels. So make peace with this and you will be happy. Regardless of wether you want to continue as a JW or not for the sake of what you feel, good or bad, you should know that you are not REQUIRED to do anything. You can simply say you have decided to not serve as an elder currently for personal reasons. You already know they will meet with you, but the nice thing about being the big dog is this......someone will want your spot. :)
-
Crazyguy
At my jc meeting the elder told me I was being privately reproved and I was loosing my privilege to answer. I cried for like a week(not) but what was I to do?, get a clue step down and enjoy you life with your family that's all you have. Wake up everday and smell the roses, some one I met just died with his whole family wife and 2 boys, Mudslide just like that all gone. Does that put it into perspective for you, sorry to be so blunt but you only get one life, live it like today is your last.
-
Scott77
"...they [two of my friends, Ex-Elders] don't really get treated all that well..." committeechairman This is a loveless cult period. This is its reward for all those years of faithful, thankless job you did for it.
Scott77
-
His Excellency
lots of good insight here. I was recently appointed an elder, about 6 months ago now, making exactly two years after my awakenning,but funny that the appointment came 2 years after I had completely lost all faith in god and had been living anti-jw life . Makes you wonder the role of the holy spirit in the entire nomination or appointment process.
Well I am still in parading the elder tag, but waiting to see for how long.