Your Experience with Resigning as an Elder

by committeechairman 69 Replies latest jw experiences

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  committeechairman

  I'm considering resigning as an elder. I'm not planning to fade or stop as one of Jehovah's Witnesses, just stop serving as an elder.

  I have responsibility in the congregation and in circuit, district, RBC, etc. and I'm completely exhausted. i'm so far behind on all the work that I will never catch up. I seldom get to spend any significant time with the family and I basically am working from the time I get up in the morning till the time I drop into bed seven days a week.

  My health is failing and I just can't keep up. A lot of what is going on for elders disturbs me, not sure if because I'm getting old and change is becoming harder to deal with or what. However, the bottom line is that I just can't keep up with all of this. I need to stop.

  That all having been said, two of my friends stopped recently and basically described it as wonderful not to be in this grind anymore. They both had similar levels of responsibility that I have. However, they don't really get treated all that well. Kind of persona non grata stuff.

  So, I thought I'd cast a wider net and see what your experiences were. I'm really looking for experiences, not so much opinions but if you have one I'd be happy to hear it.

  Thanks for reading this post.

  CC
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  straightshooter

  I was basically treated as an outcast by the body. The cong was fine, but I could tell that the BOE wanted nothing to do with me. They basically viewed me as leaving my post of duty.
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  happy@last

  I stopped as part of my fade. They tried all sorts to stop me resigning, suggesting I take a break from my responsibilities and not step down. I insisted on resigning and they still wouldn't accept it and waited for the next CO visit, I met with him and told him I was resigning and he accepted it.
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  confusedandalone

  I was in your boat... married 2 kids one with a disability and the stress had me on the verge of breakdown.

  I was school overseer... tons of talks... committees etc.

  When I informed them why I got love bombed for 2 weeks then they started treating me and my family like complete trash. It was so bad that it made my wife cry at times
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  tunnistaja.ee

  May I ask, how come you are not changing faith but ask ex members advice on resigning as an elder? I mean, in the context of a faith that says you are not to have any contact with the ex members.
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  Jeannette

  You are not a slave.
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  Phizzy

  You seem to care about your "position", and the status that gives you, and you are worried that you will be treated as others have who have "stepped down".

  (That expression, "stepped down", says volumes).

  I appreciate that when you took the responsibilities that came along one by one, you did so out of good motive, wishing to serve your God and your Brothers as best you could.

  But you must know by now that the Corporate structure that is above you cares not one whit about you, about how you feel, or, in reality, who you really are.

  If you stop being an Elder it will make no difference to the WT. They will simply put more load on others.

  But it will to make a difference to you. Yes, the status will be gone, and yes, most JW's who know you will be "sad" , and will view you as somewhat of a failure, that is what they are taught to do, their minds are controlled to think that way.

  But you will find you can breathe again, you can be who you really are, you can be the good man to your family that they know you are, and they will love you more for putting them before your own feelings, and concern for status.

  You will find too, that many of the genuine JW's, who are not 100% cult-controlled, will respect your decision, and will respect you too.

  I was never an Elder, but was viewed as one by many, who sought counsel and comfort and guidance from me.

  That did not stop when I "stepped down" from being a M.S. The true "brothers" knew who they could trust, and I am pleased they viewed me that way.

  Your only choice is to resign as an Elder, and be true to yourself, not to some idealised image created by the W.T so that they can use you.
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  fulltimestudent

  Go for it CC. When there's no more joy, the actions become meaningless.

  But, you could consider a staggered withdrawal. Tell them you concerned, that you are so busy organising things that you no longer spending quality time with the Yahweh's little sheep or your family (and, what's more you're feeling depressed), and drop one of your responsibilities, after a few months, drop another and then another. That way, after all the responsibilities are gone, you may still have acceptance in the cong. and you can then consider where you are going next.
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  pixel

  I will say go for it.
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  committeechairman

  Tunnis:

  Many of the folks on here have served as elders before. Even if they are no longer Jehovah's Witnesses or even if they are opposed to JWs, I value their opinion and experiences. Of course, the organization can say that I can't contact various individuals all they want, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to do everything I'm told.

  Phizzy:

  Thanks very much for your comments. You are absolutely right that the positions and attention you get from them is absolutely addicting. I found myself on pins and needles (still do) wondering if I would get assigned special privileges for district conventions and circuit events.