Im new and need help!

by Batman89 47 Replies latest jw experiences

  • jwfacts

    She loves being a JW more than she loves you. You don't want to live playing second fiddle to the org. Who knows though, you have given her some points to think about. Maybe she will realize she loves you and that what you said makes sense, and come looking for you.

  • cha ching
    cha ching

    Dear Batman89....

    Remember when you were...10? 13? like any girls?

    Felt sad when they didn't want you? Then you became 16? 18?

    Other girls came along... The others faded...

    Once you move on without this girl, you WILL find another..

    24 / 25 is still young, surprise, surprise (wait until you are 50, 60, 70)

    There is a LOT to life left, LIVE it! EXPLORE it, ENJOY it!

    Get in your batmobile and gooooooo!!!!!!

  • Divergent

    "Get in your batmobile and gooooooo!!!!!!"

    Love this part.. LOL

    Anyway, Batman89.. please consider this also - even if you are able to get her out, there is NO GUARANTEE that it would be permanent. I have seen some who married out eventually end up returning to the truth at a later point, and even manage to bring their kids in with them! Don't think that you would want to be in that situation ;P

  • cha ching
    cha ching

    That is so true Batman!

    (what just kidding said is so true)

    We met a guy who had been "out" & DF'd for 20 years, but he kept feeling like he might need to come back, tho he never thought he would. So, he never got married, tho he wanted to, and had this circular reasoning for twenty years, never 'going' anywhere in his batmobile...

    Someone I know had nightmares about 'returning.' Nightmares that they would somehow be drug back into the religion, that his parents would return, and the nightmare would keep going... The WT digs deep into brains, making it hard for some to ever forget.

    Start anew with a freshoutlook...

    Give yourself a couple of years to get your head on straight, to know what you really desire, what you reallly think (your own thoughts, not WTBS) and just breathe....

    Life does go on, it changes, it gets better.


  • Captain Obvious
    Captain Obvious

    Welcome batman89!

    Thats great that you were able to wake up with your parents. I'm sure most of us on this board would swap places with your situation in a second. My advice - make sure she has your contact info while you go out and live your life in your fade and after. You need to get your space. If you got anything through to her, she will wake up eventually. And she will be looking for support.

    Also, I think it is morally incumbent upon you to share the story of how your family woke up.. If and when you're ready.

    Fele free to PM me anytime, we're close to the same age.

    good luck

  • kaik

    Welcome here Batman89. You have several options what to do, but your best way is leave her and let her return to KH that she loves. It will not work as there is never compromise at the WT cult. If you really care about her you can try to reason with her about the false doctrines of the JW and seed a doubt in her faith for her to find out what really compromise truth. Otherwise, you can wish her a good luck and you start your own life without indoctrination. There are people who will have genuine interest in you and you may find better wife than any chick in KH. Do you really want a JW wife that instead spending time with family goes into meeting 3x per week, field service, no effort to cook and build great cozy household? I lived in that household as a child. So you will be babysitting, while your JW wife would go to book study, field service, convention... Do you want that?

  • nugget

    Marriage is not easy, you stand together and build a life together. You need to take a step back, you have seen how non believers are sidelined and undermined. The pressure to conform and the all or nothing that is demanded from the organisation. Even in your post you talk about the compromise you are considering, whether you could fake it for the rest of your life. The JW issues the ultimatum and you have to decide whether you can conform. Think about it because this is how life with a JW will be, you have to make all the sacrifices and they give you nothing.

    At the moment this relationship can not work properly for either of you. You need a woman who loves you for who and what you are and supports your goals and aims. She wants to be a JW despite knowing TTATT, perhaps she doesn't appreciate how harmful the religion is or perhaps she doesn't care but she wants someone who fits in with her religion. You are not that person at the moment and she is not willing to compromise for you.

    Take a break from each other and use the time to determine what you want from life. Build the life you want and see if your feelings change. You are exiting a high control group and you need to be sure of your own mental well being and health before starting a relationship with anyone.

  • cultBgone

    Batman, you might also consider the comments in Jonza's "Dating a JW Woman" thread...

    Best wishes to you and your family!

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