First Post...Hi everyone! Thanks for all of your help over the years! (page 6)

mouthy

Thanks for sharing stuckinarut2.It is so encouraging to see the "brains" in the organization
finally see through "lie"...You will know what to do _____
I found the answer when I asked Jesus THE WAY TRUTH LIFE to come into my heart..
Trouble is I find so many when they leave the "lie" become Atheists.

http://exjw.weebly.com

cha ching

Welcome StuckinaRut2 :-)

Our fam was very involdved in helping people, building things etc.... It 'felt good.'

However..... all the people we helped (and it's not to say I don't like helping), all the years and years of friendship, even my mother, turned off like a light bulb the minute the switch was hit.

No brains, no remorse, just "what does the Society say about people who don't go to meetings?" "Don't associate" and even more lately, from a hall in our area... yes, they are still using "mentally diseased," but NOW it has been applied to non FS goers, and non meeting atteneders. How do you like that one?

My children have lost life long friends that they have helped sooooo much in their life.

My advice: concentrate on building memories with YOUR family.... expand your interests now, before fading, build friendships with other people, have other things to do... (maybe soccer, baseball teams, dancing =for wife ;-) etc, etc)

Build up family memories... those last forever ;-)

Hang in there!

Cha Ching!

Newly Enlightened

WELCOME!

jgnat

Married? Wife zealous or not? Children, grandchildren? All in, some out? Are there employment entanglements? Ageing parents?

You don't have to answer these questions for privacy, but I think these are the common ties that bind.

I'd hit the easy one first. If you have employment entanglements, pursue an independent career path.

The second one I'd work on is the marriage. I'm a fan of independent family study night. The WTS encourages it, and it's a great opportunity to gently introduce independent thinking. I came to the conclusion that I would stay with my hubby if he stayed with the Witnesses or not. I have become adept at encouraging his natural self so I had my real man around me most of the time. So whether you and she stay or go, encouraging the natural self is always good.

I think that is enough for now. I think it is good for the soul to open the doors of your imaginary golden cage, and giving yourself the freedom to fly if you so choose.

jgnat

P.S. Despite his professed interest in study, we never did have a family study night. He finds it screamingly boring. The poor man was never a natural Witness anyways. We go to movies instead.

petitebrunette

You're very lucky, yes I say lucky now, to have the wisdom of this board. I found it too late. I was looking for some sort of comfort from the fact that I was getting df'd. I did discover TTATT, which does help, but wish I could have just faded and kept my family. But things are good now, I've grown alot. It's definitely a process. Now I've started reading the Bible without the shadow of the WT telling me what I'm reading. I accepted everything I was told. If I didn't understand it, I just wasn't studying hard enough. Not anymore!

LisaRose

Thanks for telling your story. I think it will become harder and harder to fake zeal, or even to keep going to the meetings, to continue on in ignorance is not an option anymore. Learning TTATT is just the beginning, it takes time for the years of indoctrination to wear off, but it's worth it in the end, because you can be the person you were meant to be.

Enjoy the journey

ABibleStudent

stuckinarut2 - I know that there is well known expresion that "those who fail to plan, plan to fail", but I cant work out what to do yet...but through this forum I see that I am not alone, and that is a positive step forward so far...

Hi stuckinarut2, Plans can be simple, specific, detailed, and/or complex. The simple and specific plans seem to be easier to execute.

The follwoing is a simple and specific plan:

Vent on JWN to reduce your frustrations as well as ask members for specific advice to help you to help JW family and friends how to critically think for themselves.
Research the WTBTS history and changes in doctrines by visiting reputable websites like www.jwfacts.com, www.watchtowerdocuments.com, etc. and reading books by Raymond Franz (i.e., "Crisis of Conscience" and "In Search of Christian Freedom") and Don Cameron ("Captive of a Concept").
Research how to overcome BITE control techniques by visiting reputable websites like www.freedomofmind.com, reading books by Steve Hassan (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", and (his latest book) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs"), and watching Steve Hassan's FREE videos on his website.
Learn how to ask simple questions of JWs like in the exJW Psychology 102--How to Ask a Question When Questions Aren't Allowed by Billy the Ex-Bethelite to help your JW family and friends to critically think for themselves.
Get more education/training to qualify for a better paying career. (Provides an excuse for missing more meetings.)
Learn how to help JWs to stop using thought-stopping platitudes, such as "They are imperfect men . . . ", "Where else will we go?", etc.
Invite your JW family and friends to attend fun outings where they can meet more non-JWs who they share common interests.
Help your JW family and friends to become involved in more time consuming hobbies so that they spend less time reading WTBTS propagcanda.
Help your JW family and friends to use the internet to find cheaper and better hotels than are on the WTBTS's approved list of hotels to attend convenctions/assemblies and to improve their criticall thinking skills. (Your goal would be for JWs to view the internet is a valuable reasource to verify claims made by other people including WTBTS elders and the GB.)
If you plan to fade more painlessly, find another job in another city where you do not know any JWs.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

P.S. - Although it is best to write plans down, writing plans down does not mean that you cannot change them as circumstances change.

PaintedToeNail

Welcome!

Doubting Bro

Welcome! Look forward to reading your comments.

First Post...Hi everyone! Thanks for all of your help over the years!

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