Well my JW elder dad has lost his job... (page 6)

Julia Orwell

That's it eh Smiddy. They reap what they sow. They've made all these 'sacrifices' so maybe they will notice when 'Jehovah' leaves them high and dry.

Just to step a little back from my earlier post which upon reflection was on the harsh side. I'm all for supporting one's parents but the acceptance thing has to be reciprocated. And support does not have to include having them under your roof - which You've already decided with your wife you won't do. Beyond that, you may want to revisit the whole issue of keeping your actual beliefs to yourself. I'm not suggesting you disclose those beliefs - but correctly or not, I get impression your parents don't really know you and as a result there's a kind of remoteness between you and your folks. Even if they were not facing the retirement issue, you could do worse than sit down with your wife and reflect upon the quality of your relationship with your JW parents.

BU2B

What kind of quality relationship can I have with any JW when I know they would shun me like a leper if they knew the real me? Any relationship with any uber JW with any of us here is superficial and shallow at best.

Yea who announces to hardcore JW parents that they are now fading?? Especially when they will just press and want to know why, knowing thy will rationalize away anything you bring up and probably involve the elders into things. They will do nothing but press and pressure me to do more, and I will not stand for it.

The point is even if they have to go on government assistance, they are NOT my responsibility seeing as they are not elderly, and able bodied! My house, My rules.

wasblind

" How many times has the Wt literature said that Jehovah provide in times of need

Tell me one time just, one when he has ever done so "_____Smiddy

.

I would say when he gave us a brain to think wit

and the ablility to learn from our mistakes as we go forward in life

Jehovah's Witnesses are discouraged in usin' that provision

because it's independant thinkin', and they are told that to think for yourself

makes Jehovah Sad

.

That's pure uncut Bullshit

.

skeeter1

To thine own self be true, and thou can't be false to any man. Shakespeare. Hamlet, I think.

What kind of quality relationship do you have if he's accepting only an illusion of BU2B?

Who announces to hardcore JW parents? I did. Oh, there was a blow up initially when I rejected the GEneration change in the late 90's (but hadn't attended since the 80's). "How could you, Skeeter?" "All we taught you?" That went on for a few weeks. Then, the elders and JWs came to the door, sent by my parents. I asked if my parents sent them? They said yes. I told them I wasn't interested and to stop. So, they did. Then, I went total appostate in the mid-2005's. At this point, my dad was guilty, saying that I'd be a JW if he was a better dad. To which I said, 'no, I'd be a JW if it was the true religion. it has nothing to do with your parenting.' Luckily, I was never baptised. So, I have a strained relationship of almost/quasi shunning. But, it's really strained on their end because my relatives have to hold their judgemental tongue. Only if they start on the Troof, do I start in on my side. So, that shuts them up and keeps them shut up now...for years. I am not constrained on my end of how I think about spirituality, what I do, or what I say. So by being me, I have found freedom and peace. I have defined who I am and what I think, as well as the boundaries of my family. They have deal with it. I do have to occassionally deal with their idiocracy, and it reminds me that there are worse things than being shunned. I think to myself that shunning is a blessing. LOL.

But really, perhaps your mother's comments about moving in with you were just a quick reaction to the rug being pulled out from under them. Perhaps it will soon pass, and they will find their own way.

Skeeter

steve2

Skeeter I hadn't realized what youd been through with your JW paremts. Your experience illustrates one way in which "coming" out to one's JW parents can be an act of core integrity. Inevitably, JW parents go through waves of guilt and emotional reasoning -probably not directly intended to elicit your sympathy. But it shows how they eventually "adjust" and there is a mutual understanding that the topic is a no fly zone.

laverite

Put up a Christmas tree in every room of the house. Never mind that Christmas was only about 3 weeks ago. Just say you are getting a jump start on next Christmas. That might scare them off.

This whole Wait on Jehovah and Jehovah will Provide thing is just courting trouble. As a little old lady I used to know liked to say: "Wish in one hand and shit in the other. See which gets filled first."

Justitia Themis

However, it's obviously not your responsibility to make up for that. Protecting loved ones from the natural consequences of their actions is not healthy for either of you. It may take this event for them to wake up, and that is outside the scope of your control.

My parents are 85, and I am dealing with the same situation. It is very difficult because most of us a good people--which is why being BORG bothered us so much--and we want to care and be kind. However, Rebel's statement above is correct.

Basically, I told my parents that I would never let them starve, but that they made their choices. I volunteered to help them apply for and receive government assistance (social security, etc.), had meals delivered to their home when either of them was post-surgery (I don't live in the area), pay for their lawn service, bought home equipment to make their lives easier, etc.

You could volunteer to help your mom and dad apply for unemployment benefits, refine their resumes, etc.

Likely, they will paint you as a 'bad' person, which is part of the mental manipulation. But much like children, once my parents saw that my position was unmovable, they backed off and started working in their own best interest.

Rattigan350

Just don't help them financially. They will still apportion some for the WWW no matter how poor they are. They need to learn to prioritize.

There are those who are unemployed that will put something in the contribution box, thinking that they are seeking the kingdom and the rest will be provided. My theory is that they are going to the meetings and contributing, then why would Jesus help them, they are already doing those things. Stop doing those things because of lack of money and then he provides.

rebel8

You could volunteer to help your mom and dad apply for unemployment benefits, refine their resumes, etc.

Those are practical and effective ways to help people in the OP's situation.

Well my JW elder dad has lost his job...

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