So far text messages have been exchanged. He said he is "speechless". Not sure if about the eye opening facts or if its because its unexpected. Basically my dad wants to "sit down and talk abou it". They live 2 hrs away and had planned on coming in a couple of weeks. Told him my place is always open to my parents however to be sure to tell my mom before coming. We'll see what happends. I know my mom is gonna flip but damage is done and no looking back now.....
Just sent letter to my parents that I no longer want to be a JW
by ?evrything 52 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
dazed but not confused
I didn’t drop any major bombs on my mom and sister. They wouldn’t have listened if I did and knowing them like I do – if I had, they probably wouldn’t talk to me anymore bec of my apostate views. All they know is that I no longer believe and stopped attending. I visited them for the first time in September since I left. Not a single word was asked as to why I left. They probably feel it is better not knowing so they aren’t “stumbled.” I hope you made the right choice in telling them the way you did… Good luck with everything.
-
?evrything
Thanks for the support Dazed.. After asking around there was no "good way" to do it tho Im glad your was has been working out for you. The way I chose was def "ripping the bandaid off the hairy arm" method.
-
finally awake
Good luck!
-
snare&racket
Let us know how you get on, maybe we can help (the myriad of lies, doctrinal changes, scandals and coverups) at the very least we can support you x
I think (imho) it is important to use nothing but the bible and JW literature with 'uber JW's'.
These are two sources I used and it helped me immensley with a lifelong JW who has now began fading....
-
Black Sheep
Stick to asking them questions that you know they don't want to answer, rather than telling them things that you know that they don't want to hear.
Don't let them off with crap answers and make them be honest by standards that they profess to keep.
It is a fine line to tread., especially when both parents are full on JW nutters. Sending them an email crossed that line.
You need to get your parents off guard. They have to know that they need to defend their descision to remain with a church with a history of prophetic failure.... Failures that they know about, but pretend/prefer to ignore. Try to bring up statements that you heard them make.
I didn't say it was easy.
Take it sloooooowly. Your parents are psychologically damaged from many years in the cult, so don't expect that you can extract them in a couple of weeks.
-
cofty
Just want to say well done. Please keep us in the picture.
-
?evrything
Thanks for the support guys. Woke up to a text saying that he and mom had a "sad sleepness night". I replied with "Well that certainly wasnt my intention but could you tell from the letter how many sad sleepness nights I had"?
-
?evrything
Now got a text they want to meet up Sat Afternoon. bleh.. really ont want to waste my time or see my mom cry..
-
LostGeneration
You might want to push that off a bit, simply to let them process the info. It will be an emotional guilt trip for you if you meet with them right after dropping that kind of news.
If you do go through with it, set up your goals and ground rules before the discussion even begins. They only are going to be interested in soul saving which will involve guilt and threats to turn you into the elders (if you care about DF at this point).
Good luck!