You gotta be generous with your younger self. I regret not speaking up as a young woman when I successfully dieted to within ten pounds of my "ideal" weight. I should have insisted that Weight Watchers put me on maintenance. But as a fifty something grandma, I have come to realize I'm a different woman with all different sorts of backbone now.
A story about Reggie and Reginald... and why it makes me cringe... more vomiting
by confusedandalone 49 Replies latest jw experiences
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problemaddict
Dang man I regret not speaking up last year....much less as a younger man. You were who you were, and did what you did. Regret is a useless emotion. Get it out, know that you have your integrity, and stand looking into the empty ocean of possibility.
Thats what i'm tring to do anyways.
One of my closest friends was one of the "black elite", meaning JR brown, Ralph Walls, those guys. He would have them flown out on the congregations dime for a talk/vacation. he always told me these guys get a little wine in them and start talking about the racism, the (once), all white GB, the way they had to "take control".
It was always shocking to me at the time. Surely there was no racism in Gods house!
Sheesh.
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Perry
Don't be so sensitive. When I attended a mostly black congregation, I got to hear stuff like "whitey" get thrown around.... and cliches like "white don't make you right". It was in good fun among the younger ones, almost like they wanted to cut me in on some joking that they enjoyed amongst themselves on a limited basis. I wasn't offended, it made me feel rather excepted. At least that was the way it seemed to be presented.
At the time, I had never heard some of those terms and phrases; and in truth they were rather comical. Young people are pretty silly by nature.
Just some food for thought.
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problemaddict
^^^Moron.
Of course since you experienced a little back and forth, you must know exactly what it feels like to be marginalized and disrespected. Good grief.
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zeb
C aA: I read you account just now 0833 sat and my jaw dropped. I wanted to punch heads! being an aussie the reggie thing was lost on me until you explained it was a substitute for nigger. WTH!
In my mind the wts has just taken a further backward jump. Could i say "One great leap backwards for mankind".
With the advances made against racism around the world; to hear that coming from a kh gives further credence to the earlier pro-nazi stance of Rutherford et al. and again a denial of humility and in the brothers an absence of education.
Do not feel bad for not standing up for yourself as a teen. Being young we do take a lot more crap as we are an easy mark, the 'truth' enforces that but i know how deep the cuts run. I was the fat kid at school and i have a some pretty sad memories of being made take part in running sports always losing (!) and copping the crap from teachers and the ratpack of kids .
Of a dad who lived at a distance due to war nerves (WW2) and a parochial mother who was ever full of 'advice' that was useless while she fed us third helpings.
In my back room my in-house man cave I have a banner that says;"What happens to you does not matter. what you become through those experiences is all that is significant. This is the true meaning of life".
Take a big hug from me and one for your family.
By the way my middle name is Reg which here is just a name.
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rebel8
omg.
It would have been really funny if you called them all the same name, like HEROD. lol
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OnTheWayOut
Don't be so sensitive. When I attended a mostly black congregation, I got to hear stuff like "whitey" get thrown around.... and cliches like "white don't make you right". It was in good fun among the younger ones,
Perry, and everyone else- this is not at all the same situation. Light hearted joking around is one thing. It can go too far, but they seemed not to hit a nerve in Perry's case, so we chalk his example up to light hearted joking.
But this post is not a time to say "Don't be so sensitive." These men in authority were blatently disrespecting other men in front of everyone in a terrible way. For the C.O. to ask them to overlook it is disgraceful. I would have stormed out of the meeting and said that Reggie would show up to do the assignment, then tell the home congregation that the "other" congregations didn't want our help.
And I know you were in a mind control cult and it is easier to say it from the outside than from the inside. But there was a time when I would have reached that point.
I am as white as my avatar and my wife is clearly black. I have been in majority black congregations mostly and have not seen any real problems. I would love to find terrible fault with every last JW thing, but the members are generally pretty good when it comes to putting such stuff behind them. I have been sent to black and white and mixed race congregations and never encountered any real problems. So when one group is that bad, it needs to be called out.
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Perry
Every situation is different for sure. I wasn't there. But I have seen the devastating ill efffects of being too sensitive. When people "dish it out" they expect to get it back in return. It's just a game most of the time. If you get all huffy.... it makes you appear like a spoiled brat without a sense of humor. Of course there are limits.
One friend's son I know was a young skinny white man. He was working side by side with a seasoned older Mexican man who was constantly asking him when he was going to start working....... no matter how hard the kid worked. It wasn't personal. But, the skinny white dude felt that he was being disrespected for being a skinny white dude & not as strong and as used to manual labor as the other guy. He quit his job over it. No sense of humor.
A few days later I had this same young man up on a roof unloading some materials and we both overheard the materials company labor giving another skinny white kid a hard time. They kept asking him when he was going to start working. Instead of taking it personal, he dished it right back. Later, I asked the mouthy Mexican guy about the skinny white kid and he assured me he was just joking. He said that the "kid" was the best manager they ever had and that he was very highly educated and was making the company a lot of money.... which increased job security for everyone. The mouthing was just a game to pass the time, no big deal. It was his boss!
Later, I looked at my friends' son and told him I thought he quit his job over nothing.... just being too sensitive and not having a sense of humor. He agreed after he saw nearly the exact same thing, but handled differently.
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confusedandalone
I had to look at this board before going to bed. I jsut have to make sure I get this... So we should have all just had a sense of humor when the white brothers who are suppose to love us called us niggers to out face LOL.
On a sidenote would you have been able to laugh off someone called you a SPIC or a WETBACK over and over to your face. Just food for thought.
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zeb
We can make jokes of many things. But to put s*** on someone is utterly not appropriate and this was done, planned and at a kh where the 'party-line' is just how accepting, and loving we are all supposed to be. Would they ridicule someone who came into the hall in a wheelchair or on artificial limbs I am dread to say quite possibly.
At one of my last meetings a severely handicapped bro had a fit and collapsed to the floor. Well it was just Tv wasnt it they all stood and starred but did they know what to do. No not one of them They couldnt go to a first aid class could they they might have to miss a meeting. heaven prevent!
In my later life for medical reasons my weight ballooned. Yet ihad bros poking me physically. I stated to the elders if this didnt stop i would start poking some the offenders wives who were carrying spare weight. My name was dirt but the poking stopped. I put it down to social ignorance. Such behaviour is partof the put people down mentality that is integral in wt culture. Glad to be out of it!
Rebel8; Brilliant idea. "How you going Herod is this your wife?" How are you Rahab?"
CAA take heart