First post

by thedog1 97 Replies latest jw friends

  • EdenOne

    Welcome to the forum, thedog1.

    I can totally relate with you. I'm currently serving as MS and served as an Elder for years before I resigned for personal reasons. Nowadays I make clear that I don't want to serve as an Elder again - I give many excuses, but the knowledge I obtained about the Organization and its teachings doesn't allow me to serve in such position in good conscience. My wife is basically like your wife. Very faithful, doesn't question anything, sees some flaws but she sweeps everything under the carpet and is terrified when she senses me being critical towards the "mother". Actually she made it very clear that if she had to choose between me or Jehovah's Organization, she would choose the latter. So, I know what to expect from there.

    If you conduct the Watchtower study, may I also conclude that you're the COTBOE in your congregation?

    In any case, please thread carefully, you have much to lose. Trust no one. It's very tempting to try to get validation from other Elders, but in the end you will be fed to the machine as dead meat. Don't take it to the CO or DO either. They're absolutely Company men - their "jobs" and paycheck depend on that. It's a very solitary space where you are.

    In any case, please take courage. There are others in this forum in your exact situation. Feel free if you'd like to PM me about anything.


  • sspo


    I was in for 32 year and served for 24years as an elder...once you realize it's not the truth it's unlikely that you can continue teaching from the stage

    or delivering a message door to door. In due time slowly you will find a way to get out and enjoy life without the watchtower lies.

    I call them lies because i know the GB knows that the doctrines are all lies.

  • konceptual99

    Welcome dog

    You have taken a brave step by posting and I wish you all the best.

    I started waking up around 18 months ago and have been here for a bit more than a year. I am still attending most meetings but have stepped down as an MS (after 20 years) and am pretty much inactive as far as service goes. I am working on a slow fade to try and bring my family out.

    I think I would have gone mad if it was not for the support of this forum and the fact there is a vast array of experiences and material out there. You are not alone. As you start to research things in more detail I hope you will see that the demonisation of apostates as crazed, bitter and twisted caricatures is false and there the vast majority of what you see and read is well reasoned.

    Keep in touch. Don't go too fast. Don't confide too much, even to close friends. Be cautious as you find your feet and work out how you would like things to proceed. Spend some time researching. Reach Steve Hassen, read jwfacts, read Crisis of Conscience, read The Gentile Times Reconsidered by Carl Olof Jonsson, read the other recommendations that have been posted.

    All the best and I look forward to getting to know you better!

  • Witness My Fury
    Witness My Fury

    Dont you have a stand in WT conductor? You can choose to be ill, away, dealing with a family matter etc etc and just avoid having to stand there like a prune mouthing words you know are false. It will destroy you mentally and emotionally faking it unless you are some sort of sociopath.

  • Captain Blithering
    Captain Blithering

    Well done man, it's scary posting for the first time, then praying for forgiveness, then getting confused and doing it all over again! I even had cognitive dissonance over the phrase cognitive dissonance! I'd read the term on here then half forgotten it, but it kept half popping back into my mind, I was frightened I'd remember the term and it'd destroy my faith! Well, I'm still confused, but I'm coming to accept that it's ok to not know ALL the answers , after all, we've been taught the 'truth' and that seems to change significantly on a regular basis... Take your time Bro, good to meet you..

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite


    My first suggestion would be to develop an episode of explosive diarrhea Sunday morning and tell another brother to do the WT study.

    My second suggestion would be to generously use the terms, "current teaching," "current understanding," "evidently," or maybe "this year the brothers are telling us that..." If the want to sound like Brother On-The-Ball, suggest to the brothers that they need to update the entry "Generation" in their Insight Volume to say the opposite of what's there... that a generation now overlaps and is now longer than a century. And suggest that if they've been updating their Reasoning books with each of the new generation teachings that they need to again correct pages 97, 136, 234, 239, and 242.

  • DesirousOfChange

    There is an overwhelming sense of sadness when something you have believed in for so long may not be correct.


    Sadness is just one of the many emotions on this roller coaster you have boarded.

    You might also experience feeling angry (that's where I am hung up), gullible, hopeless, disillusioned.

    Probably already went through denial.

    The RED PILL is a bitter medicine.

    Good luck.

    Also over 40 years "in", former elder, born-in, faker/fader.


  • flipper

    THE DOG- Very nice to have you here my friend. As others mentioned it took a lot of courage to come here so a big commendation to you for doing so ! You are among similar folks here who had to exit the JW organization due to injustices, doubts, or various crisis of conscience issues. You are not alone. As you see here some still attend to maintain civil family relations in their immediate home in hopes that in time their mates or children may see the light about the WT organization as well. As one poster stated we will be here for you 24/7 as a support. Myself included.

    I was born and raised in the JW organization from birth and I stopped attending 10 years ago at age 44. My father still is a long time elder since the 1950's and my older brother an ex-Bethel elder for 40 years. Most of my family is still inside the organization. I had doubts for years but finally I reached my breaking point as many here do in no longer being able to make excuses for the WT Society inconsistencies in teachings or practices. I'm here to say that freedom of mind is not as scary as it's been portrayed by the WT Society. Being controlled and not allowed to research with a clear, open mind is a much scarier option. To be told what you have to think is truly fear inspiring.

    You mentioned that it's , " mainly doctrinal issues that are pushing me to question MY DEDICATION TO THE TRUTH. " I capitalized those words to suggest to you that quite possibly it IS your dedication to the truth ( the real truth ) that is propelling you into further research to see if what you have been taught is really the " truth " or not. So give yourself credit in a real way ! You are STILL dedicated to the truth - it's just that the version of " truth " you have been believing may be in question right now. But YOU as a person are O.K. - you are good in that you are still dedicated to finding truth- and that's a good thing, no matter where that journey takes you.

    As you mentioned the definition of " generation " has changed so many times in the WT Society's history it's mind boggling. When I tried to share the dictionary definition of " generation " with an elder friend of mine several years back which showed a typical length of generation is about 25 - 30 years from birth to when we have our children at age 30 or so- my friend told me " Flipper that's the WORLDLY definition of generation you are giving me. It's a WORLDLY dictionary. " So I just moved on to a different subject with him.

    Bottom line is the WT Society at times has been known to change definitions of words in order to fit their agendas at times. The American Heritage Dictionary of 2012 defines " generation " as : " 1. The people born and living about the same time , considered as a group. 2. The average interval of time between the birth of parents and the birth of their offspring 3. All of the offspring that are at the same stage of descent from a common ancestor . " Just wanted to share this info with you as you mentioned the " generation " subject had been troubling you.

    As some have stated, please be careful with how much you open up to fellow elders, your wife, or other JW's as they are trained to rat each other out if any doubts surface regarding the governing body or WT teachings. Just watch your back, be careful who you trust. We are here for you as unconditional friends no matter what stage you are at or no matter what you decide. It's nice to have you here, hang in there and take care. If you ever want to chat on the phone please PM me and I'd be glad to give you my phone number as well, O.K.? I know how lonely it can be when you are first doubting what you've been told. Peace out friend, Mr. Flipper

  • JakeM2012

    Welcome Dog, I was a lurker for years but eventually reregistered and wrote my first post, yes it is a bit strange. Again Welcome, there are many previous elders, servants, pioneers, etc and the journey has a few bumps on the road.

  • His Excellency
    His Excellency


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