First post

by thedog1 97 Replies latest jw friends

  • thedog1

    walls of jericho

    I really appreciate your post. Yes, very daunting to think of life outside the cong. I am a bit of a loner besides the company of my wife so the close assoc with others is not such a big deal, but more the overall comfort blanket of the worldwide association and the group of bros at the hall, even though I have only ever had a few close friends in the truth, and even those are in the end conditional on being a bro in good standing. It's the beguiling nature of the kingdom hall safety net that is so addictive, the smiles, the handshakes , the general camaraderie, the thought of all going in the same direction. I am reminded of the old song 'We're on the one road, sharing the one load, we're on the road to God knows where. We're on the one road, it's maybe the wrong road, but we're together now who cares!' This is an old Irish Republican song about people from all over Ireland uniting to fight a common enemy, maybe a bit too apt in terms of loyalty to the organization no matter what.

  • Giordano

    Thanks for sharing your concerns with us. It took me 3 years before I finally concluded that it wasn't really the truth. I was in from the age of 13 until age 23. I pioneered where the 'need was great' held three positions at the same time etc.

    That was many many years ago. My wife (my pioneer partner) and I just celebrated our 50th anniversary. Some 45 years out of the 'truth'. It's been a very good life. We were free to accomplish those things that were important to us.

    I found this site a couple of years ago when I had a wild hair and wondered how the JW'S were doing without me........ LOL and stumbled into Freeminds and this site.

    Even after that amount of time I understood perfectly what everyone was talking about, feeling about, angry about, questioning etc.

    Switching gears.......When I first explored this forum I was bothered by the bad grammar, use of the English language, misspellings etc.

    Then I learned that a number of people were posting on their phones at work and it's very hard to work with the very small keypad especially when someone is on a five minute break. The other thing was that this is an international forum and English is not everyone's first language. I also learned not to post after drinking.

    Finally after you click on Submit you'll see on the top Right corner of your post a yellow pencil, if you need to change something in your post click on that it will return you to your post so you can make changes (you have 30 minutes).

  • KiddingMe

    Sorry, I'm a little late. Welcome!

    I had some of the same initial reservations you had. I lurked for quite a while before posting and I believe it took a day or two to actually post after joining the site. I am still active, and like you none of my family are JWs. All of my husband's immediate family are JWs. I have not yet expressed my doubts to him.

    Have you considered reading Crisis of Conscience?

  • Stirred

    i really appreciate your post Dog. It was a while ago but still helping others like me.

    Leaving Quietly - I see myself in stage 2 and 7 right now.

    i've had issues in past and recently. In past, my major initial shock was back in 2008 when I stumbled on info about NGO. I asked elder friends and they told me not to make a big deal of it as it was a library card, but the answers were hypocritical for me but I put aside my feelings for awhile with my internal feeling that the real cleansing was not 1919 but in future toward JWs for there is no way this coukd be ok.

    I waited and focused on the good info...tried to apply myself to being good JW andto be awake enough about NGO to never allow myself to overemphasize org over Jesus and Bible. With latest generation "light," tithing, CO stating to stay distant from all weak ones, anuse from members in congregation, etc...I just could not take it anymore as it was...started searching.

    i recently read most of Crisis of Conscience. Excellent read. I'm now reading In Search of Christian Freedom.

    Metaphorically speaking, I had been okay in my mind with ordering ala carte, but could never order the whole dinner plate anymore. Stay true to your integrity and don't throw everything out in a rush. Sift, test and put aside what you know/test is bad. Keep what is good.


  • thedog1

    Just looking back at the posts others did on my first post last November. As others have said, as time goes on you start reading the publications from a different angle. So much has happened during that time. I won't say when this happened but I am no longer an elder. I could not in conscience teach things I either couldn't understand or did not agree with. But I gave other reasons like pressure and health problems (both true) as the prime factor in stepping aside. Just trying now to keep things calm and steady with my wife. She knows the real reasons (sort of) as she even read the section in the new book released at the DA about the 'generation' teaching and she found it weird that there was no scriptural backing given for it. No sudden decisions for the moment. Just need to step back and reflect on where this is all going.

  • besty

    whre its going is you will becoem an atheist, and much happier and contended for it.

    the only question is how long your journey will take you ;-) good luck...

  • Magnum

    thedog1: As others have said, as time goes on you start reading the publications from a different angle

    That certainly happened with me, and not only that, but I started reading the Bible from a different angle, too. Passages that used to seem to apply to non-JWs or other religions started seeming to apply to JWs. Example: "And you will know the truth, adn the truth will set you free" - John 8:32.

  • Fernando

    Best wishes on the journey thedog1.

    Great news that you've been able to step down and stay calm and steady.

    It is possible to be true to yourself and still maintain positive relationships in the family with most people if you can create a warm, loving and supportive space where it is OK to agree to disagree. Even the Watchtower literature will support following one's conscience instead of the traditions of men.

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