by slimboyfat 406 Replies latest jw friends
I never quite understood the grand good by. If you want to leave, then god bless you. But it is really not a great event. People come and go all the time. This is a great site to work out the confusion of their lives, once that is fixed many people choose to go on. I see no issue with this.
I have a minor problem with announcing your departure.
adamah:
Please note that I specifically DIDN'T accuse anyone of anything, since each person must decide for themselves if the shoe fits.
No, ofcourse you didnt name anyone, much better to use "some" and be a bit passive aggressive about it.
adamah: You ASSUMED, AKA eisegesis, which is not uncommon amongst ex-JWs (who teach it). That said, it's interesting to note those who responded to it: guilty conscience much?
Its amazing how you can diagnose people from the smallest scraps of information.
Anyway, the thread is about SBF's decision to return to the JWs, and it's an informal opportunity to say goodbye and thank him for all his comments over all these years. If you want to take the subject elsewhere (like what a big meanie Adam is), then please start a new topic.
...says the person who used the thread to take pot-shots...
NewYork44M <---- This person speaks truth!
That grand old gesture of goodbye EVEN IF IT WAS well intentioned has probably thrown someone in to some type of second-guessing fit. My grandmom almost got out once - but said that when a friend of hers whom she respected greratly returned she figured it must be the truth... thanks alot Grandma
8,461 posts spanning 9 years and he doesn't fit in?
I admit, I noticed he was quick to jump on exagerations and make defenses of the WTS but I actaully respected him for that. But to make8000 + posts and then "return" to Jehovah?
And why now? Has the recent "new light" actually convinced sbf that it is the truth? I think there is more going on here
SBF - I am still in so I "get" the dilemma. One can find a good life among JW "freinds". I know this too and for that reason I continue to stay and make a happy life (as best I can) despite the pretend JW life I live. I have many friends that know the real me and this helps me keep sane. I also have those in "the truth" that feel as I do or at least could care less about "bible talk" over beer drinking and football.
So long as my kids don't ever need a blood transfusion or piss their education away I should be just fine. Hopefully that never happens in your case either
Confusedandalone said-
That grand old gesture of goodbye EVEN IF IT WAS well intentioned has probably thrown someone in to some type of second-guessing fit.
That's kinda the point now, isn't it?
What better way to repent, than to publicly apologize to Jehovah for the hurt SBF caused Him, renouncing all the past voluminous (!) apostate talk and encouraging others to do the same (did you miss the "there truly is nothing else out there" bit)?
Speaking for myself and knowing what I know now, I'd have to sustain massive closed-head traumatic brain injury in order to join the JWs (and I doubt even THAT would do the trick). However, I'm not SBF, and only he knows the reasons why he decided what he did (and even there, that's not really true: most people don't even know WHY they decided as they did, since decision-making is often driven by emotions, as described above).
PS I'm thinking he'll be back, maybe not right away, but eventually when/if he has the strength to face up (or form) his core beliefs; people cannot choose what they actually believe, but only act a role, playing a role of a believer (which is what he's chosen to do). Anyone who values being painfully honest with themselves would refuse to do so for long, as the old saying of William S Burroughs applies:
"Hustlers of the world, there is one mark you cannot beat: the mark inside."
Adam
The thing I just learned from his intro thread is that he is young and married. If it is him and his wife alone then I can understand how / why he might go back. SBF and I are close to the same age and as a late 20er I was still willing to go along with whatever made day to day living with my family and wife easier. However when I had my children and I thought how freaking selfish it would be for me to continue doing something that I know is a pile of crap just to keep peace for myself you realize that you have to start making changes FOR THEIR BENEFIT. When you have kids you have to live for them first other wise there is no way you can really be happy.
I really hope they have no children because if he returned to that group knowing what he knows I pity his children and their futures
From SBF's honestly expressed views over the years, he evaluated himself as not fitting in anywhere. Perhaps the 'not fitting in' is less of an issue in some contexts than in others; or perhaps 'not fitting in' is worse some days than others. Who really deep down inside really fits in anywhere, whether or not affiliated with an organized religion? I've always had a sense of not fitting in, whether as a JW or not. I guess the difference with me is I accept this is how I am. I do not feel alone in not fitting in.
Besides, if SBF decides that he does not fit back inside the congregation (to use his term), he may not necessarily "come back" here.
What SBF has done is what untold numbers of people have down throughout history: Changed his mind. That's all. Doesn't mean he cannot change his mind yet again.
Some have asked why did he even need to say "Goodbye". I simply see it as a communication from a man who does want to be seen as fair-minded and who cares what others think of him (whether they know him by name or not).
It's a personal choice whether we accept his "Goodbye" in good grace or take issue with it. I personally like it when people say "Goodbye" - rather than wondering weeks, if not months later, what's happened to them?
The good thing if you like about belonginig to a high-control religion such as the Watchtower is it overtly endeavors to stamp out the individual expression of the kinds of different views expressed here. For some people that level of control is reassuring; it can be bewildering and unsettling to be exposed to all sorts of opinions and views with no final arbiter. There are benefits from having a "governing" body I'm sure. For some life is more tolerable if their beliefs provide clear sanctions on what should and should not be tolerated.
I suspect he's just taking a break or decided to move on from the forum, and thought he'd go out in style. No way he's actually gone back.
I can certainly understand his point of view and the reasons why he took the path that he did if it came down to a choice between his wife and family or the abyss of DFing. If this were the case then his wife really has someone who loves her dearly and would do anything for her. Whether the price of this love is worth going back to the JWs is only a question that SBF can answer, and he seems to have answered it. In a strange way, I honour that decision completely, and even though it would not be the path I would take, I cannot condemn him for making this choice. He is an adult man, free to make his own decisions and face the consequences of whatever comes next for him and his family. To condemn him for this would make us just as bad as the JWs with their 'us or them' mantra. All we can do is welcome him back if he does come back without being judgmental or launching a bunch of "I told you so" lines. On a personal note, I just hope he finds whatever he is seeking and that it brings him peace in his life.
I suspect he's just taking a break or decided to move on from the forum, and thought he'd go out in style. No way he's actually gone back.
I hope so.
It's a little known fact that William J Schnell tried very hard to return, so stranger things have actually happened.
