I can't take this crap anymore. It's time to get pro-active!

by BONEZZ 60 Replies latest jw experiences


    I’ve been around this board for quite awhile. It has helped immensely. Lately I just read everyone else’s experiences and try and forget the whole nightmare…but I can’t. Certain things trigger emotions. I don’t give a damn about the phony baloney “friends” who shun me… but they control my one and only daughter.

    I gave her a good life. She got almost everything she wanted. The first car we got her was a 1966 Lincoln Continental with suicide doors…beautiful car…great for service. She loved it and we knew she couldn’t go too far at 9-11 mpg. When I divorced her embezzling mother (we owned our own business) she and her mother stayed in the cult. My son and I left.

    Since then she has shunned her brother, myself and her 93 year-old grandmother. When her G’ma calls her she does not answer or hangs up on her if she forgets to screen and picks up. We have not spoken to her in 9 years even though she lives a couple of miles away. The other day was the proverbial straw that broke it.

    I was with my friend in a Walfart checkout line. Just as we’re ready to walk out I happen to look around and see her in the next line over. I had no idea she was there but when I glance her way she does the ol’ looking away thing.

    Now, she works at a local elementary school and I’m sure all her workmates think she’s maybe a little reserved but Oh such a nice person. You know how we were to treat worldly people with gloves on…be very nice to them…politely decline any invitations to get to know them better because you certainly don’t want big J catching you with them on A-Day. So people just think J-Dubs are super honest and nice but never learn about the real truth…shunning family, etc.

    So…we’re making a short little video. It features my sweet little (4’8”) hump-backed 93-year old mom (her G’ma). In it we show G’ma walking up to her rocking chair with her cane and sitting down. Then she looks at the camera and basically pleads for her only granddaughter to call her or come by (remember it’s just a couple of miles). She would like to see her before she dies or goes blind. At the end we’ll have a screen that talks about how J-Dubs say they don’t shun or break up families…but are liars!

    This video will go on YouTube and be distributed to all of her workmates.

    People may say, OMG you’ll lose her forever. Get real people! I/we have already lost her to the cult. It is time to be proactive and let her know that she cannot treat people who love her like this and get away with it.


  • ILoveTTATT

    If you really think you have nothing to lose, go for it!

  • cofty

    Only you know whether or not its the right thing to do in your situation, but I'm all for being confrontational with JW family for shunning.

    We don't "understand" and it's not OK.

    Please post a link if you do it.

  • clarity

    Bonezz .... so sorry friend .... you must just cry your

    heart out over this!.


    The adrenaline & anger do help to get us up off our butts

    to try something else, ...... go for it I say, but try to show

    that your door will always be open for your daughter.


    Hang in there & keep your chin up OK....


  • Crazyguy

    way to go these bastards must be stopped.

  • Dis-Member

    That's really quite hearbreaking and sad. I wish you the best in trying to reach her.

  • adamah

    Yeah, just remember to use a soft touch here, as the head-on approach is likely to just backfire and bring up the cult defenses (eg reminding her of the car you bought is likely a non-starter; that's likely to come off as guilting tripping her as if buying her love, and it's not about that, or shaming her in the eyes of her co-workers).

    If you're going to take the head-on approach, it may be good to point out that the injury from her shunning is ALL self-inflicted damage, eg the lost opportunities of seeing her GM, since she's allowing herself to being manipulated by the group. So perhaps more useful to keep the element of group-control at the front, as discussing in my article on shunning:


    But regardless, good luck in your efforts!


  • wannaexit

    If it feels right--do it! She can't shun you anymore that what she is already doing. I hate this religion for what it does to families. I will look for the link when you put it up.

  • ruderedhead

    Please re-think sending it to her work mates. If you feel you absolutely have to, please check with an attorney first to make sure there would be no legal recourse for her to take.

    If you ever run into her again, why not go up to her and say hello, I miss you, we all love you. If she ignores you, you could loudly proclaim that you're sorry, you forgot the jw's won't talk to anyone who left their religion, even if it's their own father.

  • ABibleStudent

    Hi BONEZZ, I totally understand how you feel. ruderedhead did have a good idea about how to confront your daughter when she shuns you in public. Is it possible to visit her at her school during a school event?

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


Share this