To answer the question posed by GOODSOUL:
Why not to just close this chapter and begin anew? That's a difficult one for me and my family. While the many things that awoke me are indeed souring to the palate, they are still things that have soaked in and become who we are for over 30 years. You have to remember, just getting to the point that I can be comfortable, even on a small level, to put these words down in a forum like this... takes time. I am not one to make quick, instant decisions. While my wife and I are continually planning our future, we are talking about little things as they come up. It's almost like building a new house I suppose. Sure, you can just go buy a brand new one that someone else built, but we want to do this one ourselves.
We want our kids to learn from this experience. Since they too are involved, and a part of the building process, its just as important that we help them see the dangers that lurk. Yes, they are involved in the congregation, are very social, love their friends, have a great time keeping busy, and enjoy field service. We try to point them more toward the practical applications involved with community service, including field service. Don't push a doctrine, or the idea that YOUR religion is the only one, or that their is only ONE way to a goal. Focus on a happy message, bring joy to someone's morning. Don't be pushy, dont have as your focus placing literature. Share a scripture with someone. Plain and simple. Since so many hold the Bible in high regard, share something positive with them that YOU have enjoyed. Have a good conversation, if possible, and leave it at that. I can't stand the "offer them literature" mode. BLECK!
So you see, its all a gradual process for us. Part of this process is showing the family the WHOLE picture, not just walking out of something that has been ingrained in us for so long. We are looking at it like taking the family on a guided tour. We are encouraging the kids to look at college courses, is their something you might want to do, a class you want to take? Is a degree beneficial for what you want to do? Don't worry about what other people say or think. Look at the options, decide for your self. We are here to help, and in only a few very short years, they will be on their own, like fledgling birds taking to the skies. By then, our gentle actions will have ensured that our family is NOT under the control of a few individuals in downtown NY City that DO NOT have the best interests of my family at heart.
Some may take issue with our decision, but it is ours to bear. We do what we feel like, for that particular day. If we go to meeting or field service, its because we want to. All of us have a spiritual need, sometimes we do what we are familiar with. Muscle memory. What we will NOT do is make our decisions for today based on what someone else will think! As a recent elder, I feel I can be best suited to help people right where I am at. Things will change in time. No one's situation is the same as the others, and no one's situation is perfect.
And just to clarify: I am not an EX elder, or ANTI this or that. I don't like titles, never have. Lets call me a RETIRED elder.
Jack Harper
