Elders finally took me to the back room...

by OneDayillBeFree 59 Replies latest jw experiences

  • LongHairGal


    Bravo. You handled them brilliantly.

    Their nerviness is going from bad to worse! While I think all their questions are intrusive and none of their business, I am particularly galled that they asked you how much money you made. I figure they want to know WHO they can target and corner for money.

    I'd tell these bastards to take a hike. But then again, I'm a "fader". As others have said, don't let them corner you again for any interrogations. Politely decline.

  • jookbeard

    play the game with them, never ever answer any of their nosey downright rude questions and if they ask you into the back room agian just say I'll be with you guys in a moment and just walk to your car and leave them waiting , likewise if they ask to arrange a meet with you think of a time and place which is of the utmost inconvenience to them and then just simply fail to turn up, be careful in even opening voicemail/texts and email from them also, and under no circumstances answer any calls from them that could be loaded and recorded.

  • LouBelle

    I think you handled yourself well. And yes - there is no need for the "back room" - why must it be behind closed doors - You can always say you don't want the members of the congregation think you are being counciled for some wrong doing, because rumers get started with less than that and you don't want that thank you.

  • 00DAD

    ODIBF: But the elders are indeed desperate for more male brothers to help them!

    Desperate indeed. But that's their problem, not yours!

  • Splash

    Next time they ask you into the back room:

    "I thought about our last conversation we had in the back room, and you made me feel very uncomfortable asking me personal questions about my personal life, work life, and salary".

    I'm sorry, but I'm not going to let you do that to me a second time. I'm sure you understand."


  • undercover

    Quick thinking with the app.

    The first part of the conversation wasn't too out of line. Encouraging a young brother to reach out, especially in a new congregation that needs brothers. Even if you don't believe in WT crap, you can understand that's probably a typical scenrio in most churches.

    But it crossed the line when they started asking personal questions. They were making assumptions that since you weren't naturally reaching out eagerly that there just had to be something holding you back. So when you weren't forthcoming with details, they started interrogating you. And to anyone reading this who isn't familiar with congregation procedures, this is a typical situation. I've been through similar myself.

    In our current situation, free of the cult, it's easy to say, "tell em to F*** off" and odds are most of us would do that now, in those exact words no less. But back when we were in, we wouldn't have done that. We would have danced around the issue, maybe not answering them directly but not really standing up to them either. I mean, they're spirit appointed elders. Don't grieve the holy spirit and all that shit.

    You done good.

  • diana netherton
    diana netherton

    Record it next time...I need some entertainment.


    DO NOT FOLLOW DATA-DOGs ADVICE: Seriously just tell them that you don't believe that JW's have all the answers.

    Come on, Data, that's enough to get the guy DFd!!! YOU CANNOT disagree with the GB/F&DS.

    Fair enough! LOL!!! Just remember that they are crazy cult members. They can be great individuals one on one. As Elders they have no choice except to follow the playbook. Jesus said that the hour is coming when those who kill or persecute you will honestly believe that they are doing God's will. If just accept that they don't know any better right now, and avoid them, you will be alright. I had no family I would be out the door.

    Just think about what you will say if the day comes where you have to draw a line in the sand. It cannot be avoided forever.


    you handled that brilliantly and seem to have a really good plan.

    I also have family in and so did a long fade missed meetings, arrived at the start, left straight afterwards, did minimal fs and faked a report and never answered. I don't regret it as I can deal freely with my family now and have no contact with the congrgation. It's all a game - view it as such and be playful - what seem like horrible situations can actually be a little fun - especially knowing you can report back here about them ;-)

    I got interest from the elders when i stopped going to meetings but said I was very thankful for their help and I'd be in touch if I needed anything. I had to give them the brush off more than once but they got the message and I'm happily free.

    Good luck!!!

  • nancy drew
    nancy drew

    They're always concerned i grew to hate that word

    we had one of those exploratory meetings someone said you said blah blah blah well i don't believe you who said I said that?

    I knew it was over than because I was finished with organization and the whole deal we went to one more meeting and then we never went back didn't answer the phone or door and moved across the country and burnt that bridge big time

    And i'm very happy to be rid of them

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