more abuse in today's watchtower study

by solomon 64 Replies latest jw friends

  • NewChapter

    Is it chemical---is it thinking patterns---does one cause the other---these are difficult questions to answer, and I'm pretty sure the balance varies from person to person----


    I have found that my thinking often brings on unnecessary emotions. Now, what I'm about to say does NOT mean that medication is not needed in many cases, but as a supplement to treatment. Everyone is responsible for their own decisions.

    I don't think it is wrong to point to thinking patterns when dealing with depression. But telling a person to think positively is just silly. They aren't thinking in a balanced manner and they may not even be sure where the break-down is. Like telling a person to exercise and eat better---it's not helpful unless there are some specifics. What kind of exercises, for how long? What kinds of food?

    Same with the thinking thing. It's important that a person learn how to isolate exactly where the thinking is going off track. And also to empower them with the knowledge that emotion follows thinking, not the other way around. At least I found this to be incredibly effective.

    I used to catastrophize everything. It got pretty ridiculous, but I couldn't break the cycle of thoughts, and so my emotions would rev up as they did.

    Maybe I was an half-hour late giving my daughter a dose of medicine. Well this was just unforgivable! I must not love her. Now the medication won't work properly! Maybe she'll get sicker. Maybe she'll die. That would make me a murderer of my own child. I'm a horrible person. I'm worthless. So much better if I wasn't born. I'm the worst mother in the world. If I was dead, someone better could take care of her.

    That's pretty ridiculous thinking, but just the kind of cycle I would get caught up in. It wasn't until I learned that I was actually doing that to myself that I could get control of it. It helped me to change my POV. I would imagine a good friend coming to me and telling me the same things I was telling myself. I imagined how I would respond. Then I started responding to myself the same way I would respond to that friend. I was harsh with myself. I forced myself to do this and then I forced myself to listen to the alternative message. The message that said I was not the worst mother in the world, it was only 30 minutes late, she is not going to die because of this, I'm the best mother for her, and getting distracted or losing track was not unforgivable but very human. If being late with the dose REALLY would have meant that she would have been thrown into a medical emergency, then I would NOT have been late. Because I'm capable. Because she is important to me. Because I'm a good mother. And the fact that I would get upset with myself for being 30 minutes late just proves that. I care.

    Other things that would get me into trouble was black and white thinking, all or nothing thoughts, and fortune telling. I just learned that most of what I worried about, most of what kept me up at nights, most of what made me want to give up just never happened.

    I still fall into this sometimes, but now I have the skills to figure it out and do what I can to stop the pattern. Leaving god-belief behind has been very helpful. I no longer feel the need to scrutinize my every action, my every thought, my every emotion and analyze it and look for where it is wanting or weak or bad. We all need to do this to a certain degree, but when I thought there was some entity in my psyche evaluating my every move, I felt great pressure to look at all the horrible things they would see and try to fix, fix, fix them.

    Guilt and fear were my biggest triggers. And yet, most of the guilt and fear was not based on the reality at hand. I learned that just because I feel guilty, it does not mean that I am guilty. It could mean I'm guilty, but I had to be realistic. If I felt guilty, I would actually start to search for reasons to feel that way---and trust me---I would find them. Now when I get some weird guilt from nowhere, I quickly look things over and let most of it go. The guilt follows. Sometimes the reasons are valid, but then I realize I'm blowing it to unreasonable proportions. Only a tiny bit of guilty is necessary, to learn a bit of a lesson, so I can move on better. I don't need to batter myself for days on end for some tiny infraction.

  • Christ Alone
    Christ Alone

    Is it chemical---is it thinking patterns---does one cause the other---these are difficult questions to answer, and I'm pretty sure the balance varies from person to person----

    You're right, it varies from person to person. But the fact remains, if it IS chemical, no amount of positive thinking is going to fix it. You can't will a chemical imbalance to correct itself.

  • DesirousOfChange

    The cure for mental illness according to today's Watchtower. Pray more, don't miss meetings, and go in service more. This will cure your disease.

    When they had people jumping to the death from the rooftops of Bethel buildings, I thought they had revised their outlook on this. Perhaps this is why the new HQ buildings are not highrises. (?)


  • Slidin Fast
    Slidin Fast

    From the same article a sufferer from breat cancer “Attending meetings was not optional. I knew that I had to be there if I expected Jehovahto help me cope.”

    Bloody Nora, the cure for cancer, its meeting attendance. Ring the bells, interupt TV programmes get a scientific jounal article written. We are on the way to everlasting life.

  • Slidin Fast
    Slidin Fast

    Sorry breast not breat.

  • moshe

    Try turning off your computer and stay off the internet, then see if that helps--

  • Christ Alone
    Christ Alone

    I hate it when you post that, moshe. I catch myself watching it for way too long...

  • NewChapter

    You're right, it varies from person to person. But the fact remains, if it IS chemical, no amount of positive thinking is going to fix it. You can't will a chemical imbalance to correct itself.

    Of course. And it's not postive thinking that I'm talking about, but isolating unrealistic thought patterns. What you find will not always be positive, but it should be realistic. Maybe you did do something wrong, and it needs addressed, but it does not need to be blown up into crazy proportions.

    That said, chemical or not, focusing on some of these things will help and also prevent a person from aggravating a condition that is there. If you take the medicine, but give no effort to the thought process, then the medicine can only do what it does. It all works together. It took me a long time to believe that was true, but then I proved it to myself.

    This is not about looking at the sunny side. Frankly, sometimes, there really is no sunny side, but about putting things into perspective and trying see beyond the current crisis and pain. It's hard work, and simply smiling all the time is not the cure.

  • dazed but not confused
    dazed but not confused

    LOL. Me too--Christ Alone

  • Balaamsass

    The GOVERNING BODY are uniquely qualified to understand mental illness.

    Perhaps some GB members have suffered from it for years......the more they hear voices...the more they go in service and pray...THE VOICES TELL THEM WHAT TO PUT IN THE WATCHTOWER, THAT THEY SHOULD "PARTAKE", THAT THEY SHOULD BE ON THE GOVERNING BODY , THAT THEY ARE GODS CHOSEN ONES...because "voices" tell them all makes sense now!!

    So JW friends don't see a shrink or take meds...for any voices you never might get promoted to the Governing Body!!!

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