i have started my da letter !

by unstopableravens 65 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  NewChapter

  For a long time, I refused to send in the letter. First because I wanted it to make an impact. Then I realized that it wouldn't, so I removed that obstacle. Next because I didn't want to play by THEIR rules, and I owed them no explanation. But then I realized, the letter would be for ME. That final step to close the door for me, and not for them. I was pushed to do it, finally, after much thought, when I received a voice mail from a woman that I really loved and who helped me a lot years ago. I had a choice. I could call and pretend to still believe, but that conversation would be empty. Or I coud call and just be me and honest, and then she would reject me. It really bothered me for a couple of hours, but then I thought, OR I can write the blasted letter and just let them decide!

  It may have seen impulsive to an onlooker, but it was on my mind for a long time. The phone call was just the final straw. So I wrote 2 sentences, and went immediately to the post office. When the letter dropped, I was shaking----and then I was purely elated. It was like a huge weight was lifted, and now I was free. I've not had a moment of regret, but it's only been two weeks. (slightly less) October 24th. I don't anticipate regrets, but you never know. I feel pretty darn good about it.
• 

  unstopableravens

  ur right an onlooker would not understand what its like! im going to think about this thanks for everyones thoughts one person i think scott had an idea for me to post my letter frist on hear to get ur guys ideas i will prob do that within the next week.
• 

  Black Sheep

  plus i have talked to my elders

  Never talk to Elders. They are not your friends and nothing good will ever come of it. You do not have to answer their questions.

  If you don't have a choice, use Theocratic Warfare on them. If they are in the crap they have no scruples about using dishonesty to protect the church, so don't disadvantage yourself?
• 

  wannaexit

  Six pages Hhmmmmm mm. It probably very therapeutic to write everything down. I don't suggest that you give the elders such a long letter. Most have a brain the size of a pea.
• 

  unstopableravens

  i know nothing good has came from talking to them i really thought if they seen the truth they would take to it, i was wrong ! they all seem like defense lawyer who defend thier cilent even thou they know hes wrong its sad
• 

  Phizzy

  I am with N.C on the length of any letter, two lines is all, any longer a soon as they I.D it as a DA letter in the trash it goes, no Elder will read it fully, let alone let it penetrate his mind.

  Just remember, a DAing is final, really good reasons for not doing it may exist in your case, think long and hard before doing it.

  I wanted so much to do it, for me, but I then considered it for a time, and decided it was best to simply be labelled as "Inactive non-attender" as far as the Elders were concerned. This way I still have a relationship of sorts with my JW relatives and the old "friends" still chat with me in the street, at which point I am able to plant a seed perhaps.

  Think before you jump.
• 

  Chariklo

  If I were you, I'd do what you're doing, write it all out, as many pages as it takes. Get ever single thing you want to say to them out of your head and onto paper.

  But....don't send it!

  Then, and only then, write them a very very short factual letter of disassociation.

  And the sooner you do it the sooner you will be able to get on with your life.

  That is actually good advice in any situaiion for any difficult letter you need to write in life, but it applies very much here. Also good advice in any situation for any step that needs to be taken is just to do it, straight away, provided you've done your homework.

  Take the step. A journey starts with a single step. Never hang around. Just do it.
• 

  punkofnice

  U-Ravens - You gotta do what you gotta do.

  If you have to write a letter just make it short. I was an elder and I can tell you they will only be interested in the bit that says: 'I DA myself!'

  Even if you give them concrete arguments they ain't listening.

  I refused to play their game but I was still pursued (just before the CO's visit hmmmmmmmmmmm!!) and DA'd because my wife told the elders I'd been to church. She since left me now I'm not a JW.

  It's how cults work. You're either in or dead.
• 

  unstopableravens

  do you guys think that sending a letter to everyone or some people in the cong would do anything because by the time a person is announced there is still time for people to read it and maybe get at least a few to think. what do you guys think ?
• 

  punkofnice

  Ravens - You can't rule anything out but don't hold your breath.

  Right now you probably feel you need to enlighten those stuck in the delusional cult. With all your best efforts it takes the individual to admit they need 'out'.

  I'm not saying you might spark a thought in someone's head that leads them to escaping the filthy cult. However, in your efforts you might be seen as an 'apostate'(TM) nut job and just make them put their JW shutters up even more.

  For me I've found it best to get on with my life and leave them behind.