Heading soccer balls, wearing designer clothes, and driving hybrid vehicles - all condemned in the latest Awake

by cedars 64 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  cedars

  Hi everyone

  For those who are interested, the November 2012 Awake! is now available for download online.

  Among items of possible interest are some of the latest examples of fear-mongering "Armageddon art" on pages 12 and 14...

  

  Speaking of Armageddon, you will be sad to hear that the criteria for surviving the great day of God's wrath just got a little more stringent.

  There are a number of extra things in this month's Awake! that the Society disapproves of, so please be sure to strike these off your list of current activities/posessions.

  These are...

  1. Heading soccer balls (page 29)

  Not content with condemning all team sports in their October 15th, 2011 issue of the Watchtower, the Society homes in on soccer (arguably the most popular team sport in the world), and in particular the practice of "heading" the ball.

  

  As a keen footballer, the idea that I am losing brain cells every time I "head" the ball is a new one on me. However, judging by the standard of writing in these magazines, the Society is clearly writing from experience.

  2. Wearing designer clothes (page 24 to 25)

  You can put your Hilfiger or Armani in the charity bags, because by wearing them you are committing the mortal sin of "flaunting"....

  

  Of course, the only ones who ARE allowed to wear ostentatious clothing are this lovely couple, who appear in the "Charitable Planning" brochure...

  

  Basically, if you happen to be loaded and have an interest in donating to the Society or bequething to them your disfellowshipped son's inheritance, you can wear whatever the hell you like!

  I also found this "freudian slip" rather interesting on page 25...

  

  Notice that, in order to receive love, the onus for the Society is on "WHAT you are" (i.e. a compliant Jehovah's Witness) rather than "WHO you are".

  3. Driving Hybrid vehicles (page 29)

  Do you own a Toyota Prius? This may one day come between you and your salvation when Armageddon comes. The reason? It's too darn quiet!!

  

  Those pesky hybrid vehicles - always sneaking up on you when you least expect them! Not unlike Armageddon, when you come to think of it.

  Fortunately for the Society, they can sleep soundly knowing that only a relatively small percentage of all Jehovah's Witnesses could actually afford a car with hybrid technology, because many are forced to scrape together a living as window cleaners or janitors having foresaken a higher education to "keep seeking first the kingdom". Problem solved.

  Anyway, you have been warned people!!

  Cedars
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  00DAD

  All good Cedars.

  I especially appreciated the distinction between WHAT and not WHO we are!!!

  Let's review: It's a cult. In particular, IT'S A DESTRUCTIVE, MIND-CONTROL CULT!
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  sir82

  Ya know, if this is what the writing has come to, I don't think people will be wailing and gnashing their teeth when Awake is reduced to 16 pages per month next year.....
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  diana netherton

  That is hilarious...I LOVE your posts. Keep them coming.
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  maisha

  Was there aything on olympic sized swimming pools?
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  clarity

  Cedars ... love your posts!

  Plse correct the Hybrid vehicle blurb tho ... The Prius is actually Toyota!not Honda.

  clarity
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  WTWizard

  All sports carry some risks, but so does field circus. Heading a soccer ball is less dangerous than going from door to door, with the hazards regularly encountered there. Do they speak against field circus?

  I feel there is nothing wrong with designer clothes, and especially if they also happen to be higher quality than the crap you often find at Walmart these days. I myself now get things at L.L.Bean, and they are a much higher quality than the crap at the department store. Personally, I don't like wasting money on a brand name that doesn't come with high quality--for me, top quality at full price is the real bargain.

  Hybrid vehicles? Don't some of them already emit noise? As in, the gas motor that supplies the electricity that powers the vehicle? Many are "mild hybrids", meaning the electric motor only assists the gas motor. And careful driving is more important. You need to drive at a reasonable and prudent speed, and when you see pedestrians and bicyclists are likely to be around and especially when you have trouble seeing them, slow down and be more observant. You need to take in that information at the same speed you are driving--if you drive 150 km/h, you must think and respond 150 km/h or you are likely to get into a wreck.

  Or, could it be that heading soccer balls takes from boasting session attendance, and buying designer and high-quality items and hybrid vehicles (and the new LED flashlights and light bulbs) takes money from the Worldwide Pedophile Defense Fund? I wouldn't be surprised if, at some point in the future, I hear of articles against LED light bulbs and start hearing of hounders bashing people for having them in their homes.
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  cedars

  maisha - sadly, no. However, interestingly, the following quote by Jane Fonda on materialism has been used THREE times, in two Watchtower articles and one Awake! article...

  “I’ve had my taste of wealth and all the material things. They don’t mean a thing. There’s a psychiatrist that goes with every swimming pool out here, not to mention divorces and children who hate their parents.”—New York Sunday News, Nov. 28, 1976.

  Cedars
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  cedars

  Thanks clarity, I corrected it with seconds to go! Now you can see that my knowledge of eco-friendly vehicles is not what it should be. Obviously, as far as the Society is concerned, that's a plus point!!

  Cedars
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  rather be in hades

  as much as i HATE anything that has to do with the cult...the soccer thing interests me a little.

  i've heard there was a soccer player who developed a helmet of some sort. i do think that should be used.

  now that's not to say ALL footballers will have brain damage. that's ludicrous. but the new stdies coming out about cte are interesting.

  check this article out from espn

  dr. ann mckee is leading a lot of the research into athletics and brain issues. with the recent deaths/suicides of a couple american football players, the links from constant impact to the head, tau protein and brain damage is pretty well established.

  mckee even goes further saying that it's not necessarily the hard impact concussion that makes the stadium go quiet when the player can't even get up that is the only cause, but even the low impact ones can have a detrimental effect.

  way off topic of me lol. i found the studies fascinating and i wonder also how that effects drivers as i'm a big f1 fan and when you see impacts like kbica's in canada, raikonnen and i think kubica rolling cars in rallies, and the many collisions (those things HURT even in 40mph karts lol), i can't help bt wonder.